Am I losing perspective on these jobs offers? I don’t know what to do and running out of time!

[Linset]

I’ve been offered two jobs.

One has take home pay of 4,100 a month. Work from home whenever you want, with office presence every so often when you decide to do so.

Other is take home pay of 4,350 and opportunity for a bonus with health insurance on top. Office presence needed 4 times a week, sometimes 3 times depending on what’s on.

I am a single parent and do get maintenance of around 1k a month. DD is is nursery but has some free hours now so the bill is around 500 a month.

I don’t know which role to take. The nursery is on the way to the second job but the traffic is horrendous. I’d also feel stressed coming back from the office to be there on time for her as I am the only person who does nursery drop off and pick up (that isn't going to change).

I am conflicted as I feel silly not going for the better paid role but also the idea of having a commute on top of everything else I have to manage seems overwhelming. But am I letting myself down? I don’t know. I’m 39, not sure if relevant.

Surely it would cost you that in travel?
Not adding in time and stress

I would definitely go for the first one. The stress is not worth the extra money! It’s still a great salary and your take home including maintenance is very good. You can tell from your question already that role 2 would stress you too much.

Job 1 as long as you can pay all your bills and don't need that extra £250 a month. Mind you, additional fuel costs and things like lunches will soon see the increase not be that much...

I'd take the first one (assuming the work arrangements are part of the contract.)

you cannot put a price on wfh imo, and I'd sacrifice for it.

I’d go for option 1 a take home pay of 4100 is brilliant and the other job sounds more hassle, more stressful and pre demanding, not something you need when you have small children.

take the job that makes you and your children life easier. There’s always time to get a better paid job when the children are older but for an extra 250 a month but lots of demands etc I’d take option 1.

Definitely take the lower paid job

Also, there's not way of telling if you took the first one and got pay rises in the next couple of years making up the difference vs. taking the second one but getting no rises...ending up on the same salary but having having to commute

Job 1 is what I’d pick. The flexibility of that role outweighs the pay difference, and you’d likely pay the difference in commuting.

Thanks everyone! I was a bit anxious that the lower paid one has no health insurance etc and no bonus.

The commuting costs are a bit of a non thing as by the time I’ve driven home again to work, I would have got to the office of the second job!

I feel like the lower paid one is more relaxed but that also makes me feel I’m giving up a bit on my career.

Job 1 ✅

Surely the lack of commuter stress and minimal travel time/costs is more than worth the 250 difference in salary?

@Wadadli the higher paid one also has a bonus and health insurance. The commuting costs aren’t really a thing as me driving home is the same as continuing on to the office.

What is the job? Intrigued. Even after working for 31 years in so called ' profession " was not earning that.

@BCBird they are finance related roles

Also remember that DD won't be in nursery forever - if you can manage your own diary, wfh will be a big bonus when it comes to school and the millions of in-school events.

I understand why you’re torn but I would detest having to return to the office four days a week

Job 1. Lack of stress is worth an awful lot.

I think you have to take a more strategic view. Sounds like Job 1 is the 'good for now' option. Will taking Job 1 limit you in the future? I mean you already bagged Job 2, which suggests a strong possibility that you can repeat this success once kiddo is more independent. Perhaps Job 1 for 3 years and then move on to something like Job 2.

We all have a tendency to think opportunities are going to disappear if we don't grab them right away. We're generally mistaken in this view. It could well be that you perform better in Job 1 than you would in Job 2 (because you'll be less hassled), setting you up for an as yet unknown Job 3 that could exceed the opportunities currently offered by Job 2.

How much potential bonus are we talking and how likely is it? How’s your health?

I’d do the higher paid one as I’d find wfh isolating. I’d make sure I left the office on time so there wasn’t stress and that team I’m working with know that’s non negotiable. Great position to be in by the way - congrats on the offers!

1st one. Your child is in nursery now but it becomes a pain the arse when school starts and you have to factor in staggered start days/breakfast club/afterschool club/school events etc

Your posts imply that job 2 is better in terms of job content and career wise? How much better?

Private health insurance is great, especially if it covers your DC, but a requirement to attend the office that often is a pain when you have a small DC, are single and it sounds like you do all weekday parenting.

Foe job 2 how much time does the average drive there/back take? Would also calculate the likely costs.

Are the flexible conditions in job 1 likely to stay that way?

OP I'd look at finding out more about the company culture and how they view the whole work-family dynamic too, particularly for a finance based role.

Also, there's no way I'd compromise on wfh a few days a week with a family and having kids in school (eventually in your case).
I'd rather change jobs than be back in the office 4 days a week and lose out on 2h every weekday of seeing my kids (2h per day lost to commuting).

Role 1

Job 1 makes so much more sense too me. Don't underestimate how shit a commute can be 8 times a week (travelling there and returning home).

Speak to job 1 and tell them you’re considering a higher offer and ask if they will match it. There’s a good chance they will and nothing to lose.