Am I losing perspective on these jobs offers? I don’t know what to do and running out of time!

[Linset]

I’ve been offered two jobs.

One has take home pay of 4,100 a month. Work from home whenever you want, with office presence every so often when you decide to do so.

Other is take home pay of 4,350 and opportunity for a bonus with health insurance on top. Office presence needed 4 times a week, sometimes 3 times depending on what’s on.

I am a single parent and do get maintenance of around 1k a month. DD is is nursery but has some free hours now so the bill is around 500 a month.

I don’t know which role to take. The nursery is on the way to the second job but the traffic is horrendous. I’d also feel stressed coming back from the office to be there on time for her as I am the only person who does nursery drop off and pick up (that isn't going to change).

I am conflicted as I feel silly not going for the better paid role but also the idea of having a commute on top of everything else I have to manage seems overwhelming. But am I letting myself down? I don’t know. I’m 39, not sure if relevant.

Are you in the UK? No brainer if you live anywhere that needs paid health insurance.

I would actually choose based on the role & company as well as whether you are comfortable with working from home and lack of direct interactions, learning a new job, building a network, learning how things work in a new company all remotely. If you are more money, easier life, happy days.

So it seems that for job 2 it’s not really adding a ‘commute’ if the cost/time to return home to work after dropping DD at nursery is similar to the cost/time to get to the office for job 2. Does the traffic you mention add much time/cost?

Will the location for DD be similar when DD goes to school?

Absolutely the first one. Congratulations on two offers, and take it as an indication that you're good at your job, will continue to be so, and will have options in the future if you decide to explore them. Right now more and less stressful time sounds way more valuable than the extra money. It's rare for a single parent to be able to earn good money (which both roles are) and flex their time as they need to, grab it while you can!

It's a no-brainer: the first one. Why on earth do you think you'd be letting yourself down?

I'm assuming you live in the UK?

Oh thanks. I always wonder when.i .see salaries like this.

I’ve just been in a similar situation and took the option of working from home over the extra pay. I don’t regret it. Flexibility is invaluable when you are solo parenting young children.

Well done for being in this position to choose. It’s not easy balancing a career and being solo with a young child. Hope you give yourself credit for all you do!

Because obviously the health insurance may be more of an issue elsewhere.

Role 1. I say this because once school starts the wfh is even more valuable - school hours are a PITA compared to nursery.

Future-proof yourself in that working from home and a child in school is worth its weight in gold! Especially if you can nip out and let TV babysit whilst you carry on working.

As soon as illness or staggered collection times comes into play, it’s game over when you’re tied to the office.

You can always find another job in a few years time that will give you more moolah/prospects.

My advice would be to tread water for a bit. You have no idea how annoying the school day timings are!

I don’t think role 1 is a ‘no brainer’ better choice if the ‘commute’ to job 2 isn’t actually a commute and job 2 has better content/progression opportunities.

What kind of ‘flexibility’ do posters mean? Organisations have different policies on things like time off or working from home for unwell or off school DC. For example an organisation fine with mostly home-working might not be fine with doing that whilst in sole charge of a small DC.

Flip a coin. Heads job 1, tails job 2.

The actual way it lands doesn't matter, but as you flip it you'll suddenly decide which way you want it to land and that's your answer

Think on the roles over the the medium term too.
Is one a bigger company with a greater chance of further progression in a few years time? Is one company less likely to tolerate a recession? What's your bosses boss like? Pension contributions the same?
Commuting is a ball ache but worth it if other things on the list above are ticked ..

I would use offer two as a point of negotiation. It will cost them barely anything to add you to the company health insurance policy, if that's your main concern. Likewise it won't cost you much to buy it yourself if they do say no.

1st one. Still well paid and the wfh would take the pressure off. Ultimately up to you but as a parent I’d say job 1

Just how far is the commute, it sounds short? If so, job 1 is not such a no brainer. WFH can be very isolating, also not great if you are looking to progress in the future. I would prefer a job going in. 2-3 days a week, but 4 is a lot for a single parent. I wonder would they be flexible in the future, do you have any back up for sick days? And how much potential bonus for job 2?

What about the actual jobs though? Does one appeal to you more than the other? What are the companies reputations like? How secure are the jobs? What will career progression look like in each?
there’s more to consider than just pay and commute but if all things are equal, as a single parent of a young child I’d take the WFH job. You’ll appreciate the flexibility especially when dc start school.

Definitely the working from home job. It has to fit in with your life. You'll have less travelling bills too!

Job number 1. Hands down. There’s no significant difference between the two salaries either.

I think because you have to drive to nursery anyway and then either back home or to the office, the wfh/commute situation doesn’t make much difference.

for me I found wfh incredibly lonely and isolating. Thought I would love it, I’m not even alone, husband is alone wfh. Still hate it. Turns out I need more from work than just work!

think about which job you prefer. I personally wouldn’t consider the salary (very similar), or commute (as nursery means travel time either way) but would think of the job itself, the company, and if WFH is for you/ do you have a lot of time with adults outside of work?

just my view!

What would the bonus look like with offer 2.

My neighbours son bought himself a Cornish holiday cottage outright with his bonus last year.

Not that I'm advocating taking homes from Cornish people, but are we talking a few hundred as a bonus or six figures.

The op is talking about salaries of £4k ish net a month.

Do you think it's likely that her annual bonus would be anywhere near buying-a-holiday-home-outright level? 🙄

How far is the nursery from home, as assume you'll still have to commute there every day?

If the take homes were under £2k I can see why this extra £250 would be a concern but surely at that salary it’s ‘nothing’. Even add in paying for health insurance for yourself and by the time you’ve saved money in travel and potentially food/coffee when in the office you’d be breaking even more or less.

If it’s a long term job you’ll probably also save on wraparound care in the long run when DD is a bit older and can come home from school instead of having to go to after school till you finish work.

It’s an absolute no brainer if you ask me!

I think us Brits place to much importance on career and status. If the lower paid job is enough to pay your bills, have spending money and maybe even save a little, and it's doing something you enjoy them what's wrong with choosing what YOU want over what you think society/family/peers expects you to do? Why should you choose awkwardness in commute and less flexibility over a more relaxed environment and being and to work from home more? Career and advancing yourself isn't as important as we've all been led to think. I benefited greatly from understanding the phrase "enough is a feast". If you've got enough to satisfy your needs with the meal you're given, and you can eat your fill and sit there a bit pogged and happy and full, it doesn't matter whether there's no food left on the table, or whether there's still plates and bowls full in a great big feast of left over food still spread out in front of you. If you've got 'enough' in the first job to satisfy you then there's no benefit in taking the second one just because it's more. Instead choose relaxation and happiness.