Am I losing perspective on these jobs offers? I don’t know what to do and running out of time!

[Linset]

I’ve been offered two jobs.

One has take home pay of 4,100 a month. Work from home whenever you want, with office presence every so often when you decide to do so.

Other is take home pay of 4,350 and opportunity for a bonus with health insurance on top. Office presence needed 4 times a week, sometimes 3 times depending on what’s on.

I am a single parent and do get maintenance of around 1k a month. DD is is nursery but has some free hours now so the bill is around 500 a month.

I don’t know which role to take. The nursery is on the way to the second job but the traffic is horrendous. I’d also feel stressed coming back from the office to be there on time for her as I am the only person who does nursery drop off and pick up (that isn't going to change).

I am conflicted as I feel silly not going for the better paid role but also the idea of having a commute on top of everything else I have to manage seems overwhelming. But am I letting myself down? I don’t know. I’m 39, not sure if relevant.

Come on, seriously. Is it even a question. I hope the job doesnt involve any semi serious questions/problems as you'll struggle 😂

I have only read your posts, @Linset so apologies if I am duplicating but:

• assuming the salaries you've given are gross then the actual net difference won't be as much
• how much % are the employer and employee pension contributions?
• check the bonus as most aren't contractual. The amount of disputes I have seen about bonuses is a LOT
• The medical insurance is a taxable benefit, so you will be taxed on the value of it, meaning the difference in salaries will be even less.

As a single parent you need to do what works for you. Dont think that by taking job 1 you're giving up your career potential. I was in the exact same position - single parent, professional career. I took the job 1 equivalent and moved on when my children were older. It didnt damage my career at all. You've got to do what will give you an easier life for this point now.

Good luck and well done on the 2 offers!

I would go for role 1 too, @Linset - and maybe look at your budget, to see if you can afford the costs of buying your own private health insurance.

Which one will allow you to have financial security in the medium and longer term?

Can you afford to take the long view and go for the job that has the best future for your career?

100% job 1 unless you’re the sort of person who thrives in the office setting.

Some on here will think either are big salaries but there’s also a lot of context missing in terms of location and living costs. It’s not relevant to as long as you can afford to take the lower offer If you can, I’d be picking a lower salary in favour of more WFH days

For me, flexible remote working is the biggest perk of my role and I’ve turned down many interviews if the day ratio is too swung to the office

p.s. Congratulations on securing 2 offers!

I’d negotiate a higher salary with the first employer. If through a recruiter ask them to have the conversation. If it’s on you, call the first one and say thank you for the offer it sounds wonderful and this is my preference as I this would be a great fit for me, but I’m wondering if you can come closer to the other offer so I can give you a wholehearted “yes”?

I think you need to broaden the factors you are considering when you weigh it up. You’ve just put salary, work location and bonus here but I think opportunity for progression, stability of role, financial health of company, how interesting each role is etc are all really important. If job 2 has stability, a good culture and more opportunity for progression then I would take that role - but I am someone who got a bit depressed WFH so that’s also a personal factor for me. I just think at 39 you should be “leaning in” and going to the role with the most progression but also stability / good culture. It’s a mix of things and I think remote work vs office work is the least important factor to consider (especially in your case where commuting costs and time not relevant due to nursery run anyway).

Don't forget to compare the pension schemes too. Unless you compare the salary plus the percentage your employer contributes to your pension you're not really looking at total comp.

Job 1. I am a single mum too, DD starts school in Sept. The flexibility is so, so useful. I have to do one day a week in the office but I don’t know how I’d manage if I had to do more.

FWIW the primary school years required a lot of presence in my experience, and flexibility is really valuable. At 47, I would go for the role which best combined enjoyment/interest, and quality of life- for you that might be less stress and more flexibility, as it is for me, or maybe that’s the bonus and health insurance. The actual difference in money is probably small enough to be used up in fuel, coffee/lunch out, paying for childcare, it’s not hugely significant unless you’re living up to the edge of your income every month.

1st one definitely

If you value the health insurance, which is a taxable benefit, you will probably find you can take it out yourself for a reasonable amount. My son aged 32 has found quotes for around £60 a month.
I'd take the 1st one in your situation.

I’d go for lower paid. Diff isn’t much and it sounds more suited to your family needs. Good luck whichever you decide

Maybe it is giving up on your career slightly, but balance is crucial when DC are small. You are a single parent. You have to prioritise home life as well. You will be earning enough to live well. WFH means you can stick a laundry load on during a quick coffee break. Or prep dinner during your lunch break. These free up time in the evenings. It may save you money on parking costs or food, if you don't have to shop for lunch. It means you can be there if your DD is off nursery or school due to illness. Provided you have a job and do what you can to develop and update your skills, you can build your career when DD is a little older.

Job 1 is a no brainer. As your child gets older there will be longer holidays, inset days, parents evenings. Being in the office all the time will be really hard.

Definitely the first one while your child is little. You can’t buy flexibility and as a single parent working from home makes life a lot easier for you and is better for your child. You’re still young and have decade to climb the greasy pole.

The flexibility of job one outweighs job 2 - assuming you can live on that figure.

OP @Linset Ask for the WFH conditions to be written into your contract/part of your offer. Just so it's more difficult for them to change it later.

It's not much of a difference so I would go with job 1 for the flexibility and lack of commute.

The health insurance may not be worth losing flexibility. The stress of getting to nursery, then in later years trying to juggle inset days, school events etc. may be more detrimental to your health and have more impact. You may not see a health benefit from having insurance. You should consider the career potential of each role, but my experience has been that after a few slow years whilst my children were small, my career has recovered now they are older. You current choice does not have to be forever.

250 a month less to not be charging around stressed? No brainer.

Most people seem to be saying one due to the flexibility of working from home and no commuting.

But I think OP is saying the commute is basically the same either way? And if you have to pick your child up from nursery at a fixed time, it doesn't matter whether you have to leave your office or your own house to do so - it's the getting there at a specific time that's stressful.
So I don't see these as the deciding factor.

OP - which job do you like best (as a job)? You need to compare this with both money (more in job 2) and flexibility (how much is job 1 really better)?

I don't see why travelling home-nursery to pick up the child is less stressful than going office-nursery as OP has said the journey is basically the same.

Could you use the second offer to negotiate with the first one? Don’t forget you can negotiate on things such as employer pension contributions or other benefits, not just salary.
But either way I would probably go with the first one.
Well done on getting 2 offers! 👏🏻 Hope it works out for you!