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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO EXPECT MY BABYSITTER NOT TO....

90 replies

FacingUpToThis · 27/05/2008 19:57

Have my 2 Ds's in bed with her when we got back from a night out? she was our cleaner, had known her for a year, got v stuck for a night out and asked her to sit, saying she could stay the night as we thought we mught be late back. She brought her dog with her (which I was nervous about as I don't know the dog and have had a bad exp with ds 1 and another dog) and when we got back at 1030 - much earlier than we had planned, found her in the spare room bed where she was stying with both the boys with her. I was so shocked, I just lifted then in silence and put them back to bed, and she got really cross with me and asked me why I didn't trust her - she was so angry I am now starting to question myself.

OP posts:
Desiderata · 27/05/2008 20:47

Aha! You did

windygalestoday · 27/05/2008 20:48

what difference does it mke thats shes yugoslavian??

i think this is getting worse and worse.

WiiMii · 27/05/2008 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FacingUpToThis · 27/05/2008 20:49

sorry, desiderata, I was having supper. she said ' why cannot I sleep with your boys all night. Where is your trust' She was awake, they were asleep and when I asked why they were there, she said ' we want to be here'

OP posts:
littlelapin · 27/05/2008 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FacingUpToThis · 27/05/2008 20:50

it doesn't make any difference to me - I was answering a question from LL

OP posts:
posieparker · 27/05/2008 20:51

Don't have her to sit ever again.

Thomcat · 27/05/2008 20:52

Where the boys asleep in their own bed when you left them? Or did she just decide that they'd all snuggle down safe together while mummy & daddy were out? How old are you DC?

Desiderata · 27/05/2008 20:52

It sounds like a cultural thing to me. If you're uncomfortable with it, then don't ask her to babysit again ... but I don't think there's anything to worry about.

I can see both sides; your reaction and her anger at your reaction, but what's done is done, and I don't think either one of you is the villain of the piece!

windygalestoday · 27/05/2008 20:53

ahh right L.L i missed that ......

hunkermunker · 27/05/2008 20:53

If she got them out of bed when they were asleep to put them into bed with her, that's odd.

If they got in of their own accord because it was a big adventure, that's not odd.

But it sounds like you don't like her much.

Original poster
FacingUpToThis · 27/05/2008 20:53

yes they were, and they are 3 and 2

OP posts:
littlelapin · 27/05/2008 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

windygalestoday · 27/05/2008 20:55

maybe your boys are just lovely and snuggly?

i recently babysat for a gorgeous newborn baby who simply would not be put down and did i mind? not one bit lol.....in fact her mum said she still smelt of my perfume the next day.

Original poster
FacingUpToThis · 27/05/2008 20:55

I didn't have a problem with her before this, but I was quite disturbed when I got home, but the only reason I have posted this in AIBU is that I know I can be a bit neurotic.

OP posts:
Original poster
FacingUpToThis · 27/05/2008 20:58

they are snuggly, yes, but if I was babysitting, I would either go in to them or bring them downstairs, and in fact I do have a list of instructions for sitters on what to do if they wake, and the first thing is ring me, and I will come straight home, anf the second is to bring them downstairs and put on a DVD until I get there. I have sat for plenty of babies too, and I do cuddle them, but not in a bed, but on the sofa. And it could not have been late when she took them into bed. I was home by 1030.

OP posts:
Thomcat · 27/05/2008 20:59

So she got them out of their beds??
I'd be pissed off if a babysitter had done that as I wouldn't want my children disturbed in anyway. How dare she remove your kids from their beds!

posieparker · 27/05/2008 21:00

FUTT, Trust yourself. I always think that as soon as I had children I had to be theri voice until they found their own, I had to make decisions on information that I had about what was best for them. That's all you can do. Did you say before you went out, oh by the way sleep with my children? No, so she shouldn't have. YOU ARE RIGHT.

Original poster
FacingUpToThis · 27/05/2008 21:00

thank you

OP posts:
honeybehappy · 27/05/2008 21:01

did you ask her if they woke up?
What a strange woman, how long have you known her?

tigermoth · 27/05/2008 21:02

So your ds's were asleep in their own beds when you went out, but your babysitter moved them to her bed for some reason?

Sounds illogical. After you left, did they wake up? or did she wake them up? Odd if she woke them up deliberatly to move them into her bed.

If I had come back to this, I would be confused and want to know more - not in an angry way but certainly in a curious way,

Original poster
FacingUpToThis · 27/05/2008 21:03

I did, but she didn't answer - and it is v unlikely they would both wake up, they are heavy sleepers, esp in the early evening - I have never known them wake before 2 am. I have known her for a year.

OP posts:
wb · 27/05/2008 21:05

Well, I have to say I don't really understand your reaction.

I mean - you left your children with someone who liked them enough to take them to bed and cuddle them. And that's a bad thing?

DirtySexyMummy · 27/05/2008 21:06

I don't think the fact she was in bed with them is important.

I think the fact she got them put of bed, and moved them, when they were asleep, is strange. Why would anyone do that?

Maybe she is lonely, and wanted cuddles? Not that that makes it okay to move them though.

I think you should ask her, in a non-confrontational way, why they were there. Ask if they had woken or not, and if not then ask why she moved them.

honeybehappy · 27/05/2008 21:07

but wb she didnt need to the op has already said it's unlikely that they woke up.

have you asked you 3 year old?