To cancel next holiday?

[Minecroft]

Just back from a week in a beautiful and very family friendly part of the UK. It was hard work with DCs 6 and 8. We did fun activities and had down time at our lodgings … the youngest spent the whole time complaining, saying she’s bored, when can we go home etc etc. the eldest wasn’t as bad and enjoyed activities more but did have a mega meltdown as soon as we arrived at a place I’ve wanted to go for years… I wish we hadn’t gone as to go and have it ruined seems worse than not going somehow. Eldest also spent a lot of time squabbling with her sister. It’s just parenting with fewer tools isn’t it? I wasn’t expecting it to be like a pre child holiday, we just wanted a change of scenery and to spend some quality family time. We went out for a few meals (checked menus before going to ensure there were plain foods that they liked)… they still moaned and didn’t eat much.

they are good kids but perhaps still too young to have decent holidays. Perhaps just a couple of nights somewhere close to
home is more reasonable.

We are also booked to go to Crete in October, 11 nights, and I can still get a full refund less £200 deposit (package holiday). I’ve to decide by 8th August.

Honestly thinking it’s easier/better to cancel and stay at home … perhaps I’m being a bit bab humbug as dust not yet settled. There’s loads to do in the house and maybe the £3k would be much better used that way, rather than on 11 days of whinging and squabbling.

Husband says he understands and sees where I’m coming from … but is leaning towards still going to Crete (but ultimately doesn’t mind if we cancel).

would you still go?!

I wouldn't cancel if they've not been abroad for ages. There's nothing wrong with having a chat with them about how you feel and that you're thinking it might be better to cancel rather than repeat. They should be aware that it's your holiday too and it doesn't come for free.

Holidays abroad with a pool and ice cream on tap are more appealing I MO. So it might not happen again. If you are able to switch the hotel, then why not get them involved. Get a few options on the table and talk then through it. Get them excited and helping to choose where you go.

If all else fails can you ship them off to grandparents and go for a week 😂

Just to add they are more likely to make pals abroad when hanging out at the pool. I think that makes a big difference at your DCs age

I’d definitely cancel

My dc at this age were the same on self catering holidays, don't know why. But the AI Hotel resorts in Portugal, Turkey etc, they loved and still talk about. I think it was the unlimited ice cream, slushies, pool time, relaxed meal choices and of course the entertainment in the evening 😀 I'd personally choose the Canaries in October, some of their resorts seem perfect for kids.

Crete is lovely but you really are risking the weather at the end of October. I personally would change the holiday to a child friendly hotel in the Canaries.

The weather in October is very variable so it w t be like the summer. Could be cold and windy.

If still go abroad but find a different hotel.

All inclusive.
Near the beach.
Kids club.
Night entertainment.

7 nts maximum.

You can have days of pool and beach and hopefully kids club to keep them entertained and you and hours peace and quiet.

Mine are older now but will take phone/headphones to chill round the pool. As long as they are out of the room and sat with me I don't care. It's not home.

We never stayed at all-inclusive or kids’ places. My kids always had a ball and loved being somewhere else. So maybe our home life was boring ;-)

I would not cancel though. They are old enough to understand basic ground rules before you go

I wouldn’t worry too much about a beach, kids tend to prefer a pool and you have a private one. Beaches are more likely to result in hot, over tired sunburnt kids.

also my son hates kids club.

By 6 and 8 you should be nearing civilised life and they should be understanding that you do things for others. I think some social stories (get AI to write one) on going on holiday focusing on the changes that means and why that is a good thing but home is still home and will be there when you get back. I was the child that was taken round every church, cathedral, stately home, art gallery as well as walks (some exceptionally boring). I remember moaning but I also remember the fab th8ngs I’ve seen and consequently got a very well rounded education. I would have rather sit and read my books and that happened too. I think that holidays are a scary concept for children - so much change, so much that should be fun yet is anxiety inducing so pre preparing is the best thing.

Yep! We’re a National Trust family and my son is always getting filthy in mud kitchens and playing in the woodland play areas. He doesn’t complain about touring the big houses as he’s been doing it since he was born 😅

He particularly likes castles as he’s into knights and dragons at the moment :)

Another thought OP. Realised you are just back, so did you take the dcs away as soon as school finished for the summer? Have you factored in the whining might be because they were knackered? You could have done the exact same holiday next week, having given them a couple of weeks to relax after school broke up, and had a very different experience.

We’ve learned the hard way, the holiday going the day after they break up is rarely as much fun as going first week of August. (We’ve done end of summer before but I don’t enjoy that as much as I need the last week of summer to get do all the return to school stuff.)

If you can, perhaps next summer book any trip away, UK or abroad, mid holidays.

I would go but warn them in advance that it is a huge treat and you are not tolerating whinging or moaning. It is your holiday too and bad behaviour will result in consequences. They are old enough to understand this. Set high expectations and kids will usually reach them.

This. My kids have never been this misbehaved on any holidays abroad, UK including wet and miserable camping.

It’s a big change and something they are not used to which makes them stressed

also bribery - we each got to chose a day/ activity but your choice could be cancelled if you spoilt other people’s day

At those ages, I'd be having very stern words to be honest.
They are not babies and are old enough to understand that you have spent money on a holiday, not everything can be about them etc.

My son is 11 now and we have always had a lovely time - he quite enjoys castles/Gardens etc but also knows that being a family sometimes means compromise and not everything has to be his favourite thing. In fairness, eating with him is easy as he is very adventurous with food, but I appreciate not all kids are.

I sympathise - DM and I took DS to Munich Christmas market, to Kew Christmas lights, and various other things (different years). He moaned and sulked the whole way through and couldn’t wait to get home.

He does actively like beach/pool holidays though. Just spends the whole day in the pool. Whinges about “trips” anywhere even if they are things he has asked to go to, but then enjoys it while he is there.

I think primary kids basically like playing at home, playing with their friends, and at a push, swimming. Most of the rest of it is wasted on them. That doesn’t mean you don’t go (we are going to Rome in October and DS can like it or not, we are still doing it). It means having a thicker skin about moaning 8 year olds.

@Minecroft they’re old enough for you to chat with about how you’ve heard them telling their friends it was great, but you recall them moaning about a lot at the time and that’s actually a bit ungrateful etc. I remember my Mum giving me a firm talking-to about attitude at a similar age. A very matter of fact chat where she felt I was being unappreciative about something and how lucky we all were to do it. She was right. You could say you have a lovely holiday coming up but maybe they don’t want to go, or they might be really keen. They probably will moan but you can knock that on the head!

I went to Turkey year ago when the kids were 3&5 and although the 3 year old had a couple of moments, overall everyone enjoyed the holiday and didn't complain at all. My 5 year old (female) was absolutely fine, and younger than your youngest now, we spent most of the time at the pool and beach, got an inflatable and it was sorted. Got some activity books for chill time in the evening and the flight there and it was grand. Your kids are old enough not to be whiney tbh.

DD is nearly 15 now, so I’m a bit out of practice with younger ones, but by the time she was 6 we could do a city break with her and all enjoy it. When she turned 8 we went to the US and she celebrated her 8th birthday in the restaurant at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, overlooking Central Park. However, you do have to pace things and allow downtime- we’re away at the moment and even now I reckon on one serious museum or exhibition each day, plus a bit of strolling around, and she gets time in the hotel to chat to her friends and noodle around online. DH and I used to tag team when she was younger; one of us would stay with her while the other one went out to do something. These days we can just leave her behind for an hour or two.

At 6 and 8 they’re becoming old enough to appreciate holidays. It’s not like they’re 3 and 1which is quite stressful. We took ours at ages 2 and 5 and again at 5 and 8 to TUI holiday village holidays- sooooo much for the kids to do (I don’t work for them I swear!). But make life easier for yourselves- pick an AI place where there is a huge variety of food, loads of food aimed at kids, loads of activities for kids, kids clubs, water slides etc.

“A National Trust Family”- FFS, you’re just some people who pay an annual fee to the National Trust. We don't go around describing ourselves as “An Amazon Prime Family”.

I wouldn't cancel. I think beach/pool holidays abroad are far more enjoyable and easier for children to amuse themselves than UK holidays. Lots of swimming, sandcastles, ice creams, etc - and maybe some kids evening entertainment to keep them occupied. Our son has always been very happy on overseas holidays and I'm sure you'll all have an amazing time in Crete!

What lessons did you learn this time? More breaks? Less activity? Preparing them more?
Holiday 'rules'?
It will get better, but maybe not without more prepping from you and your husband.

Just came on to say I worried think Crete in October if you are wanting a pool/beach holiday, it can be quite cold.