To cancel next holiday?

[Minecroft]

Just back from a week in a beautiful and very family friendly part of the UK. It was hard work with DCs 6 and 8. We did fun activities and had down time at our lodgings … the youngest spent the whole time complaining, saying she’s bored, when can we go home etc etc. the eldest wasn’t as bad and enjoyed activities more but did have a mega meltdown as soon as we arrived at a place I’ve wanted to go for years… I wish we hadn’t gone as to go and have it ruined seems worse than not going somehow. Eldest also spent a lot of time squabbling with her sister. It’s just parenting with fewer tools isn’t it? I wasn’t expecting it to be like a pre child holiday, we just wanted a change of scenery and to spend some quality family time. We went out for a few meals (checked menus before going to ensure there were plain foods that they liked)… they still moaned and didn’t eat much.

they are good kids but perhaps still too young to have decent holidays. Perhaps just a couple of nights somewhere close to
home is more reasonable.

We are also booked to go to Crete in October, 11 nights, and I can still get a full refund less £200 deposit (package holiday). I’ve to decide by 8th August.

Honestly thinking it’s easier/better to cancel and stay at home … perhaps I’m being a bit bab humbug as dust not yet settled. There’s loads to do in the house and maybe the £3k would be much better used that way, rather than on 11 days of whinging and squabbling.

Husband says he understands and sees where I’m coming from … but is leaning towards still going to Crete (but ultimately doesn’t mind if we cancel).

would you still go?!

Crete in October will definitely not be too hot!

Cancel. Make it clear to your children at some point why.

I really do not think that holidays should be dictated or spoiled by whining children. They are old enough to understand that Mum and Dad work hard and like to go on holidays. And pay a lot of money for them too. Whilst there will be plenty of activities and things for them to see and do, sometimes they might think it’s “boring” but there is to be no whining, because it’s a holiday for everyone. Rinse and repeat until it sinks in.

They won't care if you cancel. You will care ? Because you want to go somewhere nice?

Spend the money on your house. Save some cash for childcare centres with activities for them and then you and your dh can do some local day trips just the two of you.

I wouldnt go on that holiday no
You'd be better in one with a club, other kids, near beach.
And accept its not a holiday with wee kids it's the same shit with sun and ants and added risk of drowning

From experience I'd maybe pick a different hotel with kids entertainment etc. I absolutely love Crete but you can't appreciate all the amazing historical sites with wingy children. I'd do an A.I and just have the odd day out to somewhere like knossos. Entertained kids equals relaxed parents.

I never thought I'd enjoy A.I but there is definitely a place for it when you have children. My dd has always been fussy with food but with A.I she can just pick and choose what she wants. She also loved the evening mini disco at that age. Games around the pool etc.

Change the holiday to a week - that’s long enough. Do they generally get on well with each other or not or would they prefer to make friends with other kids and do activities and not have to play with just each other as that would affect decision on whether to go all inclusive type place or somewhere smaller…

lower your expectations so what if they don’t want to do loads of activities all day, let them have some chill time - it’s their holiday too and if they are chilled then you can chill. We take the usual travel board games, dobble, uno, snakes and ladders, take some colouring stuff, books, some new craft kits like sewing a Teddy or similar but we also take the iPads and download some Disney films/minions so when they need a break from the sun/pool they have options. We don’t take the iPads to dinner but I am relaxed if they need some downtime on them in the afternoon! Also if they want to plain pasta or plain nuggets and chips every night for a week it won’t kill them. No point stressing over them eating healthily or fruit and veg and creating a battle you can get back to normal routine when you are home.

We’ve always made sure the kids know that it’s our holiday too so to suck it up if they’re bored at times. Don’t know if that would work on all DCs but it worked for ours. When we went abroad we’d have a couple of beach/pool days for the DCs and then a walking around the city day for us. We’d bribe them with £1 toys and ice creams but basically they had to indulge us for a day if they wanted another day at the beach.

I think sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of kids on holiday. Even in the best of circumstances kids will have a moan, not want to do whatever and be a bit disengaged - that doesn’t change because they’re in a different place.

I still think family holidays are worthwhile but I’d definitely choose a venue geared to kids with clubs and activities, not least to give yourself a break.

Cancel it. Find somewhere closer you can go to in the car, ask your kids where they would like to visit. There is no rule that says a holiday needs to be a fortnight in the sun.

The dc don’t sound like they have attitudes. They just need directing more. We always went where there was a pool and a beach and they spent so much time in the water they were exhausted by late afternoon. We didn’t then drag them to dinner late.

I agree with choosing somewhere abroad that is more child focused. Eurocamp style holidays (look up Yelloh Village in France) are ace. You stay in a lodge and have more space. Flexibility to eat out or in, handy when the kids are grumpy.

Along with beaches and pools, there are kids clubs, multiple playgrounds, evening entertainment, lots of family sports on site too.

Rather than downgrade your expectations of holidays I would suggest (kindly) that you should upgrade your expectations of your children.

They are old enough not to be behaving this way, and to be told so.

Whinging is a choice and shouldn’t ever be acceptable.

There are also lots of benefits from raising your children to never ever use the words “I’m bored”

I’m pretty astonished at the notion that children don’t enjoy castles and historical sites. 😆😆

Knight, kings and queens, cannons, wars, blood curdling stories of battles, human sacrifices, sieges and sword fights and boiling oil. Spiral staircases and battlements, fireplaces big enough to stand in, stone circles and hill forts, beautiful cathedrals built by hand, ancient temples and tombs. Kids love this stuff 😆

It just takes a wee bit of preparation, a smidge of imagination and a good story.

Actually, it’s good for kids to be bored.

I agree, children shouldn’t be endlessly entertained and stimulated, they should have the opportunity and space to find ways to occupy themselves.

I didn’t say they shouldn’t be bored, I said they shouldn’t be allowed to say that they are bored.

There’s always something to do if you expend a little bit of effort and imagination.

And learning to be happy in your own head e.g while on a long journey or in a queue is an important life skill.

I found that offering my children household chores to do if they ever approached “I’m bored” territory was extremely effective.

I always found UK holidays harder work than foreign ones.

I don’t think you’re doing yourself any favours with your choice of holiday. Children need a kids club and a pool with activities and other children, otherwise I’d expect them to get bored and demanding very quickly. A private pool in self catering is lovely, but that means you need to be involved with the play pretty much all the time and do all the work you’d have to do at home, which isn’t a holiday.

There’s a reason AI holiday villages are popular.

Children really do not need a pool and a kids club to have an enjoyable holiday.

Nothing wrong with using a kids club if that works for you and your family, but it’s absolutely not necessary.

We went to the South of France when dc were that sort of age. Maybe a year older. Lots of moaning about looking around old towns. Saving grace was a big bouncy castle attached to the restaurant. They loved that.
They should like crete. They'll be a pool probs? A beach

Keep the holiday, but find a place with a mini disco. We don't use kids clubs during the day but we always make sure the hotel or campsite has mini disco.

The power of the mini disco cannot be underestimated. It is a daily motivator for good behaviour 😅 other than that all we do is pool / card games / play park. The kids need a holiday too so we keep demands to an absolute minimum.

I would talk to them about the moaning, that is not acceptable. Eg make a tally chart one day of every time they moan and show them so they understand why it’s draining. We used to have one ice cream a day every holiday, and their consequence for bad behaviour would be losing the ice cream. Eg before going to a restaurant I would say my expectations for behaviour,then if they shouted at the restaurant, I would give one warning like “if you do that again there will be no ice cream. We do NOT shout in restaurants. Then follow through. I would also bring books and colouring and we would only have max two courses, and only go maybe twice in a week.

I’d also plan in one mornings off each between you and husband where the other takes the kids out and you get time to re-charge on your own for an agreed amount of time.
I would balance the kid stuff and adult stuff fiftyfifty, it’s your holiday too and they need to learn to “cope” with other things to broaden their horizons. Eg every morning an outing every afternoon kids pool and playground.

The more you go away, the more they will enjoy it all.

If you don’t go you risk perpetuating the situation as they wont broaden their horizons.

Also, I’ll be amazed if 2 children thar age don’t have a ball. But you also need to manage your expectations and be ready for less than idyllic meal times etc.

Will the pool be heated ? If not that will be miserable. Personally I would cancel at that age and price.

We took our 3 when they were similar age for a long weekend in a cheap hotel in Benidorm. We got a break, it didn't cost that much, short flight, long enough for the DC before they started moaning.

It was when Thomas Cook was still around majorly and was the Sunwing Resort Fanabe mine loved Lollo and Bernie - we did one in Greece with them as well - Thomas Cook we’re good for that

maybe a week as well we are a week in and DS has just said he is feeling ready to go home now (we are doing 11) as he is exhausted!

Perhaps they are just home birds?

We are currently on the drive home from a week's staycation with DD5 and DD1. We went to both child focused activities like aquarium / beach / pool etc and then more adults things like a garden and a castle. They were pretty good at all locations.

They are used to going away / day trips etc. Have you asked the children if they want to go on a holiday?