Get frigging childcare

[JuniperJuly]

Yes another one of these posts.

Emergencies dont count obviously but otherwise, no you cant do your job and look after your young child at the same time.

This morning I had a 2hr teams meeting with an external person trying to organise an event for September. It was almost impossible. Every 2 minutes it was no darling, dont stick the pencil up your bum (true story. I dont care if she is on here), or telling me to hang on a second while she dealt with her child or her child shouting down the headset and being told he is sooooo cute.

I said that its awful when you get let down by childcare and she said that she was always planning on working with him at home. But she obviously isnt working! If shes like that on a teams call what is she like normally?

Last week I was on a group call and could hear someone's baby crying. Maybe she has a nanny or something, whatever, but then it became very obvious that the person wasnt actually on the call but had dialled in and buggered off, presumably to look after the crying child.

Ive now got to send an email to the person from this morning to discuss all the things we couldnt do this morning. Im not even going to bother putting in another meeting with her.

I've half a mind to send an email along the lines of
lovely to meet your child this morning. You had your hands full with him so we couldnt discuss everything so here is what I need. Its probably easier to do via email to limit distractions"
and cc her manager in.

Would that make me a bitch? Im so annoyed at the delay and the extra work it will give me.

It will be much more than 2 out of 40 and why should the manager spend their time investigating who has children under the radar at home. That could end up being their full time job. It’s not as though people will admit it!

When OP is off ill/feeling out of sorts/under productive etc it’s also not the colleagues fault. Thats why we have teams.

Having a child around is way less problematic than a shit/lazy/bullying colleague.

Before children I may have felt like the OP, afterwards as a single mum, I get it, it can be done - am sure she’s doing it occasionally/on the holidays and more than pulling her weight. Just try to have some understanding.

And yet, pre-Covid and before all the extra government sponsored childcare, parents managed to do it.

@JuniperJuly people who do what you have described absolutely ruin it for the rest of us who are fighting for our lives negotiating flexible hours, hybrid working etc, and arguing that working mothers need to be respected and taken seriously. It is very frustrating.

I have sympathy for people who genuinely can’t afford childcare, or have been let down, or have sick children. I think in the latter 2 circumstances I would rearrange a 2 hr meeting. IME most people are apologetic/ explain in advance if they are in those circumstances.

However there are a lot of people who can perfectly well afford childcare but just don’t want to spend the money on it which annoys me! And don’t get me started on men who won’t take the time off during the holidays….

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti

People have been paying for childcare, at times losing a whole salary to do so - for years. This is nothing new. Your sense of entitlement is baffling.

My parents - the grandparents - are an 11 hour flight away.

Even if they were closer - i would absolutely not have any expectation of them being my childcare.

Why would they? They raised me, educated me, I work and I decided to have a family.

I really don't understand this sense of perceived obligation that comes up
on here.

The poll results says it all. Send the email, OP.

I wonder how common this is now with WFH …as everyone tells me this sort of thing is unacceptable and would be misconduct - but on MN people seem to get high earning jobs whilst working 12 hours a week from home and looking after 2 under 2 so...

Exactly this was predicted 5 years ago when the whole WFH thing kicked off.

Don’t get me started on people who claim they are far more productive and that it’s down to the big bad employers who need to sort out who is doing what from home and when. I used to work with a women who was truly awful. Left an important meeting at 1400 because she needed to be home in time for pick up. Never around for urgent client calls but would pop up afterwards with a friendly wave asking if there is anything she could do to help…

The company were going through a number of reorganisations so she wasn’t dealt with properly BUT what gave her the attitude that she could behave like this and why is it up to the company time and time again to sort out this sort of piss taking? Surely when you have a middle management role you should know all of this.

She definitely wasn’t the only one. One guy ran a fish and chip shop at lunchtime with his wife!!

I am definitely more productive at home, and don't have an hour + commute, so actually work slightly longer BUT my kids are in childcare for the whole time I'm at work! And I have a cleaner, so I'm not doing housework whilst I'm supposed to be working. Admittedly I'm in almost back to back meeting all day everyday so it's hard to pretend to work at my job!

Absolutely not on, emergencies yes but not deliberately using childcare. I think there is something in my WFH contract about not providing childcare for under 8's whilst working. Mine are 4 & 6, we've managed with annual leave, grandparents (mine still work FT so are using their own leave) and paying teenage relatives. There might be time when our childcare falls apart this summer. However my company accepts us being adults and saying when we have a problem. They have no issue with us making time up at other parts of the day or weekends as long as the business does not suffer. Basically tell us as we are all adults but don't deceive and not get the work done.

Before Covid people rarely worked from home

so they obv paid for childcare then

obv children now older so more like holidays clubs for the same parents

but few do

yes it’s a stretch and paying out £300+ per child but you know it’s coming

budget over the year for all the weeks you don’t have to pay or pay a small amount before /after school clubs

People seem massively entitled to think they can ‘work’ from home with kids.

I can’t imagine it’s much fun for them having to entertain themselves stuck in either. I’d go to their manager and complain.

I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else. I’ve said nothing g about grandparents providing childcare.

The irony of your post is that I have no sense of entitlement whatsoever. My parents were 9000 miles away when DD was born. We have never had free childcare. (DD is a teen, both DH and I have always worked full time and he pulls his damn weight.)

To be honest I would have ended the meeting after 5 minutes of the kid being a nuisance.

I've definitely found there to be a reduction in the number of holiday clubs about these days so I think WFH with kids is becoming more common. Around us there used to be loads of holiday clubs and most operated 8-5.30 but there's far fewer now and most are 9-3. I have to book really early to get a full day place.

Another shining example of how some people "wfh" take the complete and utter p*.
If you have young children, you need cc!
Plain and simple

Thank you.
I have numerous examples of people taking the whilst allegedly wfh.
And if you have children, you have the responsibility of arranging suitable childcare to ensure you meet your contractual requirements.
So many people milking it

This in abundance

I think it’s bad not just for work but for the child too. They are not being looked after properly and will feel this when they get older.
i am a teacher and did a 3/2 split in lockdown, 3 days in school and 2 at home. My class did get a great view of my cat’s bum hole once.

It would be awkward if she did recognise you and reported you first for being on mumsnet at work!

Single mum here. I know all about the struggles of working and cc. Been there and done it, my responsibility as a parent.
My neighbour has cancelled her cc as she is now wfh?????!!!!!!!!!!!!

You say "that's the purpose of holiday club" as if everyone has some kind of access to this? There's one charity-run holiday club in my area that runs for two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon, and kids have to leave at lunchtime. I would need to go there 6 times a day at 20 minutes each time. My employer is flexible but I don't think even they would wear that 😅

People think they have magical solutions because it works for them, but your experience isn't a universal one. That's what people need to get into their heads.

Ultimately all the people stamping their feet because their basic fear that someone is getting something they're not are about to roll all our gains back and make it harder for women. Again.

So what do you (and others) do for childcare during the school holidays?
Or are you just talking about subsidised ones?