Get frigging childcare

[JuniperJuly]

Yes another one of these posts.

Emergencies dont count obviously but otherwise, no you cant do your job and look after your young child at the same time.

This morning I had a 2hr teams meeting with an external person trying to organise an event for September. It was almost impossible. Every 2 minutes it was no darling, dont stick the pencil up your bum (true story. I dont care if she is on here), or telling me to hang on a second while she dealt with her child or her child shouting down the headset and being told he is sooooo cute.

I said that its awful when you get let down by childcare and she said that she was always planning on working with him at home. But she obviously isnt working! If shes like that on a teams call what is she like normally?

Last week I was on a group call and could hear someone's baby crying. Maybe she has a nanny or something, whatever, but then it became very obvious that the person wasnt actually on the call but had dialled in and buggered off, presumably to look after the crying child.

Ive now got to send an email to the person from this morning to discuss all the things we couldnt do this morning. Im not even going to bother putting in another meeting with her.

I've half a mind to send an email along the lines of
lovely to meet your child this morning. You had your hands full with him so we couldnt discuss everything so here is what I need. Its probably easier to do via email to limit distractions"
and cc her manager in.

Would that make me a bitch? Im so annoyed at the delay and the extra work it will give me.

Of course YANBU @JuniperJuly No-one could ever - or WOULD ever - take children/toddlers/babies to work in the office, so why on EARTH do people think it's acceptable to 'work' when the children are at home?!

The sooner work from home is stopped, and people are made to go back to the office, the better!

Glad I work for a sensible employer that sent round expectations - including that they understand that summer holidays are long, sometimes childcare is unaffordable or falls through and asking all employees to be mindful of this.

Can’t bear this race to the bottom of humanity. Try toleration

And I bet she doesn't...

And to add to this we are able to bring our children into work if unavoidable

Well if you want to potentially lose someone their job because you are slightly irritated then you are not a nice person. You don't know why her kids are not in childcare. Be kind. It may be you one day, needing a little grace and favour.
I am sure its not that much extra work to write an email.

Isn't it just about some tiny nod to professionalism and not taking g the piss?

I wfh full time and would NEVER have my 2yo with me unless emergencies (she’s really ill and I don’t have any AL.)
I can’t believe people even do it tbh. I find it harsh on the children as well like surely they’re left to fend for themselves. I can’t get much work done when my daughter is with me but I guess this depends on what your job is.
I wouldn’t personally cc the manager in yet. Feels like you’re doing it out of anger.
still send the email to her though as she needs to know it’s unprofessional.

Top level cf today at the cinema. She was working on her laptop (brightness full on) while her children were being loud and throwing their popcorn at her.

On the risk of being dragged on MN- I am working Ad hoc shifts over the holidays (1 or 2 days a week). My work doesn’t involve any meetings, only things to done in a timely manner. I look after my 3 year old on these days. Her brother goes to nursery however she absolutely lost her shit when I put her into nursery during half term/term
holidays. Took her 2/3 weeks to stop crying at drop off. Even I was traumatised.

I have to take breaks away from work, relatively regularly, I take a longer unpaid lunch. I complete whatever hours that I have missed during the evening or really early in the morning. It means work gets done. I normally also work at least 2 days ahead to avoid any hiccups.

I also hate it. If I could choose not to work, I wouldn’t. It is not easy working with a child in the house.

I had a manager, 20-odd years ago, who cut her hours to part time. It was agreed that she could also WFH one day a week.

We all knew that on her WFH day, she was not working. She had her baby at home with her. So she was getting paid a better hourly rate than the rest of us and not working for it. We were furious, but what could we do?

People do (try to) take their children to work with them. There was a story a few weeks ago about someone who took her baby to a trade show and they wouldn't let her in with it. A lot of the comments on LinkedIn and on the Times website were saying how mean it was. The baby was about 8 months old so not 4th trimester.

Personally I think workplaces are for the over 18s unless they are actually to do with kids, like schools or theme parks.

The same goes for dogs, you don't take them to work unless it's a dogs home or pet shop (possibly).

As for a Teams call anyone can have an emergency, but it would be better to postpone the meeting in that case. I wouldn't snitch though - is it really in the public interest for this lady to lose her job and then be a burden on the taxpayer?

You make a valid point however why should her lack of childcare be at the OPs expense? The OP’s time has value.

Wow! Please tell me you reported it?

The email you are considering sending will make her feel like shit. So if that’s what you want to do then crack on.

You don’t know her circumstances, or what is going on in her life. You don’t know if she is bereaved, or if her kid has SEN, or if her partner has lost his job.

You won’t remember this meeting in six months’ time but she might remember this forever.

Do you know what matters ultimately in life? Not pleasing your employer, or being a jobsworth or a bootlicker, or having been a mindless, uncomplaining cog in the capitalist system. It’s how much of a cunt you’ve been, and if you’ve loved people and treated them kindly, and been beloved in return.

People can flower it up as much as they like with their 'yeah but no but' whataboutery, but this thread is living proof that people need to get their arses back into the office. In addition, it illustrates perfectly why employers want people back in. The entitlement is breathtaking, of people who think it's FINE to 'work' from home with young children in the house.

Just gobsmacked at the cheekyfuckery.

oh I totally agree. yesterday there was a post from a woman saying she was not going to bother with child care for the summer as she was 'working' from home. Just the 1 hour a day though even though she was being paid for a full day.

I think it's such a shame. Women have worked so hard to have rights in the work place and be equal to men. And we really did work and strive in the 80s 90s and 00s to get where we are today.

Now you get young women who reckon on they are 'working' whilst looking after their young children (emergencies not withstanding of course, as you said) It makes a mockery of it all. I do not blame any bosses nowadays who would not want to allow women with young children to 'work' from home or even employ them in the first place.

By that thinking then, people who work in an office should just take their kids to work with them then? No, that really wouldn’t be acceptable, so why should looking after a child while WFH be?

Incredibly unprofessional. Do you have to use this company? Because otherwise I'd be looking to replace them.

Oh there are plenty of bring your bloody dog to work days now🙄

I heard that. She had contacted all the professionals she was going to do work with, and they were fine with her daughter coming.
It was the venue that couldn’t accommodate babies that was the problem.

Exactly this. Women are going to render themselves unemployable if they're not careful. As you say, we women who worked through the 1970s 1980s and 1990s worked so hard to be seen and heard, and for basic rights, and were grateful for what we got and what we achieved, and for the opportunities to have a career.

This past 15-20 years, women have been fighting for time off (with pay) for anything they can think of. Extra paid leave for anything and everything! This is in addition to maternity leave that is now a full year (compared to 14 weeks when I had mine in the 1990s.)

And now they want to 'work' from home with the children there! I'm all for women having a better life/good opportunities, but it's getting out of hand now, with this 'oh but I have no-one to look after the children, so I NEED to work from home' stance... As you say, some employers are going to be reluctant to employ women at all one of these days...

Don’t bcc or cc anyone in. You’ll look like a dick.

My husband has cancelled/ended/interrupted meetings in the last month for the following reasons -

• Dog injured
• dog emergency surgery
• vet calling with bad news unrelated to emergency surgery but picked up when treating
• child wanting dropped off with friends
• child wanting dropped off with other friends
• child breathing*
• child singing*
• child wanting to talk about the origins of the universe at that exact moment*

*fictitious or exaggerated but same thing - employer wouldn’t care.

You don’t know their policies. You don’t know what their employer would think.

My employer wouldn’t care either. We have no policies on childcare etc. We all work remotely. I have actually never done any of the above but my employer wouldn’t care if I did.

If you emailed my (very senior) husband’s employer, they’d think you were bonkers. By all means email the person, but skip the cc’ing!

£600 for three weeks feels like a bargain. Those of us sending kids to full time nursery are £2k per month. We can only afford one child because we quite literally cant afford the childcare and neither dh nor I have jobs that allow us to care for children while wfh

Urgh....2 hr teams meeting. A 2hr meeting is the kind of meeting that should be in person unless overseas.

In the OP it says "I said that its awful when you get let down by childcare and she said that she was always planning on working with him at home."

It's also professional to inform someone you are meeting with that your personal life is impacting your ability to carry out the call.

OP does not have to bow down and 'treat people kindly' because that other person is not being professional.

Wanting to take a work call with someone who is not caring for a young child is no jobsworth, or bootlicking, I'd say it was a pretty minimal expectation.