This was not a double booking!!

[autienotnaughty]

I have close friend of 40+ years, our families were very close when we were growing up her mam and dad were like an auntie and uncle to me etc.
when we were about 15 her cousin was born, we loved visiting and she was even flower girl at my wedding 7 years later. In the last 20 years I have remained close to my friend but rarely see her extended family. Every couple years we might do a weekend away and her cousin (now adult) will come.
A couple of years ago at my friends 50th, cousin was talking about her wedding (recently engaged no date set) she said we (the general group not her cousin) would be invited to the evening do. Very kind of her to include us.

This year I received an invite to her hen do which is in august, sadly I can’t attend due to health issues so I declined.
i then received a invite to the evening do and typical I’m at a show that evening, it’s a one off event that we got tickets for about 18 months ago. It was something I got for my husband as a gift.
Now we could miss the event and take the financial loss or try to sell tickets (bought locally so can’t just do it on Ticketmaster) but I’d feel bad for dh as there are two other events I couldn’t attend due to my health issues so, one we resold tickets on tm the other dh took his brother. Plus dh has never met friends cousin so naturally he’s less bother for wedding.
So I messaged cousin and apologised and said we had a prior commitment, she was fine but when I spoke to my friend she was off with me. Mentioned something about how could I have double booked? But I booked this event before bride had mentioned a date or even a year. So I don’t think I did double book? Should I have given up the event?

Either she doesn't understand what double booking is or she's being unreasonable. If she does understand she's not using the words correctly and actually being unfair to you - making it seem like you booked the other event on purpose.

If she says it again -
"Should I have known 18 months ago when I booked the ticket that your cousin's wedding would be that day!"

She was flower girl at your wedding, I’d prioritise her wedding.

Weddings are such happy jolly events for everyone aren't they?

What, 15 years ago?

My life-long best friend and their family had become our close family friends too. More recent but very good friends of theirs announced a family wedding the same day as ours. They decided to go to the other wedding. They said their other friends would have taken offence, but they knew I would be understanding. They were right.

OP sounds like you’ve made up your mind. You want to go to the ticketed event with DH. End of day people find time and a way to do what’s important to them so your friend’s cousin and her wedding isn’t. That’s why she’s being off.
I don’t blame her but equally if you want to put a date night first that your call to make. Just own it though rather than trying to diminish how your friend feels, she’s entitled to feel disappointed.

It was 15 years ago. That's nuts.

She is being ridiculous - no way would I give up something I wanted to see if booked first

... and also not even the marriage she's in now. OP wants to go with her husband to a prior commitment. I think the friend is completely overreacting.

😆😆😆

Probably this. I expect your friend is gutted not to see you and maybe reading more into it than there is.

Don’t miss your show.

I couldn't agree more with this. Why should you have to go that far to prove you're telling the truth? If your friend cannot seem to fathom why you are unable to attend, then she is being rather selfish. This in itself is bad enough, but to not believe you I think says something about the state of your friendship.
Perhaps meet up with her to have a sincere chat about things and see if you can reach some kind of understanding. It's not as though it is your friend's wedding! So stand your ground and keep your plans.

Just decline , say you would have loved to come but you have your husband's birthday booking gift on that day