Unisex toilets in new office - dread going into work

[SocialMol]

The company I work for moved to a new office a few weeks ago. It is brand new and shared 50/50 with another company. We have our own side of the floor, key card protected so completely separate.

However, the toilets are in the middle of the block so are shared with the other company. These are unisex - several cubicles with shared area for sinks/dryers etc.

The other company is a sales one (they run a call centre there) and the demographic of their workforce is mainly young men in their 20’s.

There have been several instances of inappropriate comments made to staff in the toilets. Crass stuff like ‘give that cubicle 5 minutes’ to cruder comments directed at or about women - the men will often be talking about their own colleagues in a derogatory way in front of us.

The final straw for me was this afternoon when I walked out of a cubicle and a spotty young lad said he will ‘join me next time’ 😷

Our company are aware of our concerns but said there’s nothing they can do, as the toilets are designed to be ‘inclusive’ and similar to the other modern office blocks they viewed.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this to be honest, just wanted to know if anyone else finds this sort of set up completely ridiculous?

Lets check the 1+N class

perpetrator:
Works in the office next door
Meets in a common shared space on a regular basis

Which class would an attacker fall into

A) perpetrators were strangers to the victim
B) perpetrators were partner or ex-partner
C) perpetrators were family member
D) perpetrators were "another known person"

So if you had a heavy menstrual bleeding, you couldn’t clean up properly without doing so in full view?

If you needed to rinse the back of your skirt, for example?

No, the men don't work for your company but your company is forcing you to accept harassment. They need to do something. I don't think those toilets are legal and that the owners say they are is probably a bluff and means nothing.

I'm sorry but I've worked in companies for 40 years and this has never happened to me or anyone I know. Ditto anyone being raped in the loos. I'm sure it happens, but being raped in work loos in the UK must be pretty low odds.

Look, it’s perfectly reasonable and entirely admirable to insist that there is no sexual harassment in the workplace - or anywhere else, for that matter. But this is a way-people-are-allowed-to-behave issue, not a loos issue. Dealing on a whole company level with any form of workplace harassment is the responsibility of the employer, but in individual instances, each person has the right, and I’d suggest also the duty, to challenge it. In the OP’s original post, a straightforward and assertive ‘Oh, FFS grow up!’ or ‘don’t ever talk to me like that’ would have been both reasonable and sensible. And I’m sorry it seems to offend you all so much, but ‘dreading going to work’ because of the puerile comment of a chap in the neighbouring office is a huge over-reaction.

Amen.

It doesn’t matter if you want to do this or not. There is still a legal requirement for single sex toilets or fully enclosed unisex toilets that include a sink within the private space.

Yes, there are plenty of deserted spaces that are dangerous.

Why do we want to create more?

This all day long.

You may have no concept of privacy from strange men but many of us, including OP, do.
If she hadn’t encountered these unpleasant men in the work toilets, there wouldn’t have been an issue. No grim remarks, no awkward encounter where it sounds like even the men were uncomfortable but dealt with it in a blokey way.

And I’m sorry it seems to offend you all so much, but ‘dreading going to work’ because of the puerile comment of a chap in the neighbouring office is a huge over-reaction.

and yes, that is a deeply unpleasant comment.

You have never had bleeding seep into your workwear other women have had this happen to them.

Low is a number of rapes and sexual assaults
So what is your number?
How many women can come to harm before it becomes a problem?

What is your N+1?

Absolutely this. I was recently at a work event where an attendee said he had a case of a woman found dead in a toilet cubicle after collapsing in there. No one realised she was there for hours as it was one of those ceiling to floor cubicles.

They aren't as safe as ones with gaps. Doors with gaps are only a problem in mixed sex toilet provision. So keep toilets single sex. This almost entirely eliminate harassment from men and they can literally save lives.

The OPs employer cant manage to locate office space with toilets.

Yet you expect the OP a woman has a duty to challenge men who have proven themselves to more than willing be break the social contract each time she wants to use the toilet?

It has to me, and to me
mum.

Just from a lease point of view if it helps your argument to your employer, your lease must say that you have access to 'common parts' or shared spaces or whatever, but just because it's not in your exclusive area doesn't mean it's not part of your rented space and therefore within the jurisdiction of your employer

To add, your employers CHOSE to rent that space, they are still required to be legally compliant even if the space they have haphazardly chosen doesn't meet their legal obligations.

Your HR department are in the wrong here.

Put an official grievance in.

If I were you I'd raise a grievance for sexual harassment which is what this is, legally your employer has to investigate the issue and resolve it. Let them decide the issue is the toilets, don't you make it about the toilets. Your complaint is sexual harassment, it's down to them to determine the cause. The laws were tightened up in this area last year, read the company policy on bullying and harassment.

Both you and your mum were raped in the loo at work? That's awful and I'm really sorry that you went through that.

I’m referring to ‘bleeding through”, to which you responded in the first part of your post - before the ‘ditto’. Though I suspect you know that.

I think you report each incident formally to HR. I don't personally care about unisex toilets, but I wouldnt be tolerating being talked to like that, nevermind at work. Some of it is sexual harassment.

Id also report it to the other companies HR department. And if theres a disabled loo, Id use that or formally ask to work at home til its resolved.

This absolutely isnt a toilet issue, its a sexually inappropriate colleagues at work issue.

It is both.

If the employer had lived up to their obligations the men would have had no access.

It’s both.
You’ve got more chance of changing the toilets than changing their behaviour.

The building owner is wrong and needs to sort out the toilets.

You know what you could do.. call 101 and report the men from the other business.

Every. Single. Time.

Or phone the other business and make a complaint and advise if it isnt addressed youll phone the police

They could still make inappropriate comments though. They don't change just because they're in a different place.