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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How much is reasonable?

5 replies

Menonut · 23/07/2025 16:32

Son is 20, has a lovely girlfriend from uni, they’ve been together about 6 months. They are both students, but both have summer jobs.
It’s her birthday in August and he’s just asked me what a good amount to spend on presents is.
I’ve no idea 🤷‍♀️
I suggested about £50? 🤷‍♀️ is this unreasonable?

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 23/07/2025 16:33

I think it's not so much about the money, it's about the gift. A really thoughtful gift doesn't have to cost the earth and I think if you choose a number randomly then he'll be looking at 'things' that add up to the amount, rather than thinking about what she might actually like.

Clarinet1 · 23/07/2025 16:37

I agree with Arlanymor, she will be more thrilled with something she loves for £30 than something that just isn’t her and sits in a drawer for £100. Maybe something for the subject she’s studying or something she’s mentioned she liked in a shop they’ve looked in.

Menonut · 23/07/2025 16:38

Thanks. He’s shown me what he was thinking of getting and he’s actually put quite a bit of thought into what she likes and dislikes. “I’ve chosen this because…”
So he’s definitely put thought in, was just wondering what expectations might be.

OP posts:
Menonut · 23/07/2025 16:40

Clarinet1 · 23/07/2025 16:37

I agree with Arlanymor, she will be more thrilled with something she loves for £30 than something that just isn’t her and sits in a drawer for £100. Maybe something for the subject she’s studying or something she’s mentioned she liked in a shop they’ve looked in.

Thanks. That’s exactly what he’s done. They were out shopping last week and she mentioned a couple of bits that she likes so he’s got one of those. Plus something to do with her subject. Hopefully that means he’s on the right track :)

OP posts:
fatgirlswims · 23/07/2025 16:41

Is he taking her out and buying flowers and Prosecco as well as a gift?

It soon adds up. £30-100 is reasonable.

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