to be annoyed that only women are expected to cuddle babies at work?

[pppaper]

This keeps happening and it's really starting to wind me up.

When a new mum brings a baby into work (usually someone on maternity leave visiting), it's always the women who are expected to fuss over the baby. The baby gets brought right up to us, even if we’re clearly trying to get on with work or not engage. I’ve tried ignoring it, but they literally come over and stand right in front of me with the baby.

The men in the office? Nothing. No one brings the baby near them. No one expects them to hold it or coo over it. They just smile and carry on with their day and that’s totally fine. But if I don’t want to hold the baby, I get comments like "But you’ve got children of your own!" Yes I do, but that doesn’t mean I want to cuddle other people’s babies. Especially not at work.

I’m tired of this unspoken rule that women should automatically want to interact with babies just because we’re women. Men are allowed to just exist and not get involved. I want the same.

This never happens in my work. I like babies but im past the age of wanting to hold them unless they are family. When colleagues bring in their baby/new grandchild. Il go have a look, give the obligatory "so cute" "how are you etc" then go back to my desk.

I'm always very awkward cos i dont wanna pick up the baby. So just stand there and try to leave situation if possible.

It never happens to me. But that may be because i say hi, say the baby is cute then i get back to work? Any suggestion that i do more, is - meh and i don't, unless colleague is a particular friend of mine, then I'll have a coffee with them.

I always pretended to be on a call. Or left my desk and gone up to the third floor to see my friend in Accounts. I'm not great at hiding my disinterest so it was better just to bog off.

Not where I work, the men in my team love babies and are first in for a cuddle.
My Dean (male) didn’t want to give my DD back whereas my director (female) isn’t fussed.

I just gave the normal speech of "oh s/he's lovely" , and then went back to my desk.

DH loves a baby! He frequently sends pictures of him with a colleagues new baby. He works in a predominantly male environment but the blokes often bring their little ones in for a cwtch.

My male colleague had his nails painted by a 6yo that came into work (childcare issues)! He also produced sweets and a Nintendo switch so was more prepared than any of us

Same as the others…’hello’ cluck under the chin, back to work. Job done.

We only have them in the kitchen. So you get the message “Jane’s here shes brought baby John”
So those who are interested go through and they all hang out or make coffee etc. and if you don’t want to coo and cluck you don’t have to.

I stick my head in. Do the obligatory “oh isn’t he gorgeous” and go after about three minutes to answer an urgent email.

Others stay maybe 20mins and then it’s back to work.

Not my experience at anywhere I've worked, people who want to see the baby do that, everyone else carries on with work. Maybe it's a your job problem

Oooh, I HATE this @pppaper and I could not agree more! It's even worse when you don't have children yourself, and someone points at you and and says 'you next!' I have DC now but didn't have them til around 30, and I got SO fucked off with people trying to turn me into a brood mare as soon as I hit my 20s, just because my 3 female cousins all had DC by the age of 21!

Even though I have children myself, (they're now aged late 20s,) and have always loved holding and cuddling them - I have no desire to hold, and 'cuddle' someone else's baby who I am not remotely related to! Several years ago, a colleague of DH's had a baby, and we went to a 'work do' of his a few months after, and she was on maternity leave but still came to the 'do' at a pub... I was sat down for no more than 10 minutes when she marched up to me and plopped this huge heavy 3 month old baby on me. I was sitting at a table in the pub, up a corner, and was quite squashed and uncomfortable, and it was wrenching my back holding this 17 pound baby!

One of the women started giggling at how 'awkward' I looked holding him, but it was because I was in an awkward position, and also because I didn't want to fucking hold him! I have my own DC, and a few nieces and nephews who I'm close to, (now grown,) but I have NO desire to hold peoples babies. As I say - who I am not related to.

A minute or so after the woman giggled at me, I stood up with the baby and said 'YOU hold him then!' and shoved the baby in her arms. Fuck that shit. I didn't ask to hold him, and I barely knew the woman/his mother. She soon stopped her irksome giggling!

I don't mind it, I always love a cuddle of a newborn! When I took my first baby into work many years ago, just as many men as women came over to say hi and one or two of them had a hold ☺️ I didn't take the baby round the building thrusting it in people's faces though!

I truly have no idea why people bring babies into a work place. It’s a work place. A place of work. I have absolutely no desire to feign interest in a baby whilst trying to get on with my job. I don’t understand why they don’t organise a social event and invite colleagues to visit the baby. Surely that would be better for the infant anyway?

"No thanks, I'm not hungry right now" tends to make them move away, I find. Often rather quickly!

When colleagues on maternity leave came in to show us the baby I found it was generally the men who were first in the queue for a cuddle, to be honest.

I remember this from my office days. There is an assumption that all women just want to drool over any random baby. Not sure how to handle it other than to be busy in a meeting or on the phone. I share your annoyance, especially when I didn't see the same being expected of the men.

This has never been a thing at my work. I remember taking my now 20 year old into work. The (male) director disappeared with him and was bouncing him around. He then gleefully announced he was off to London for a directors meeting. Thankfully I rescued my son before any damage could be done to the pristine suit!
Normally when people bring babies in now it’s a prearranged visit to see the people they actually work with (both male and female) and anyone else would just pop over and say hello if they wanted to.

Ha not like this at my work. Everyone loves when a baby/small child is brought in, the blokes are as likely to be queuing up to give the baby a cuddle as the ladies

I love a cute baby and not enough people bring them into work/over to me to cuddle.

It’s been at least a decade since this happened to me.

I’ve never been interested in other people’s children but I can usually summon up a couple of minutes of good manners to congratulate the colleague and make some nice compliments.

it’s a baby not a Rottweiler.

Babies in the office, no thank you. However a Rottweiler? I'd be in for cuddles so fast!

What you’re saying is probably the reality in mushy places but my DH always ends up carrying the babies at his work when mums bring them in, he tells me.
I probably fussed over them before I had my own but not since then. I just walk by if I need to go somewhere and say ‘aww’ determinedly walking past.

Yup same with us ! I fondly remember our male business manager having a lovely time cuddling someone’s baby !

I don't think I have ever had a baby forced on me by a colleague. I once had one thrust in my direction by a customer, complete with a bottle in his mouth that she expected me to juggle - I just held up my hands and said "I'm no good with babies, he'll start screaming if I take him" - a colleague nearby who had children and grandchildren was more than happy to step into the breach.