Child Free Weddings have always been normal - stop pretending otherwise

[thelakeisle]

Just that really. Every other week some entitled family member trots out the "reasons" why she is super special and her children MUST be allowed to attend someone else's wedding. It's batshit, over entitled and frankly weird.

I do not understand this desperate need to control other people's lives or inability to just turn down an invitation politely.

Other people's weddings - no matter who they are or what your relationship is - are not about you. The bride and the groom are the only people who get to decide anything.

No ifs, no ands, no buts.

So, when you receive a child free wedding invitation these are your options.

1. You can ask very very very politely if your children are the special exception - the answer will be no, by the way.
2. You can accept the situation like a grown up and say yes.
3. You can accept the situation like a grown up and say no.
4. You can accept the situation and throw a tantrum in real life, on mumsnet or any other platform of your choice.
5. You can turn up with your kids and be exiled from most family events for the rest of your life.

And for the hard of thinking:

1. Child free weddings don't mean they hate your children or any children.
2. They will be fine with you turning down the invitaiton, you won't be making any great dramatic stand by doing so, few will notice, probably none will actually care.
3. There are extremely good reasons why some people have made the choice to not have kids at their weddings, dating back right through history this has been a common practice.
4. Again, this is not a new thing. Not at all. You're just not very well educated about the past, or are wearing your Pollyanna goggles.
5. Not wanting kids at the wedding has nothing to do with aesthetics and everything to do with adults enjoying themselves unencumbered and uninterrupted.
6. Your kids are only cute to you, your spouse and maybe the grandparents. Everyone else is just being nice.
7. Your personal story doesn't matter to the bride and groom, and nor should it.

I think that covers it. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

Stands back to await the hurricane of entitlement and faux shock and horror.

Posting with a poll for a bit of a laugh, mumsnetters do love their polls :)

@Ashwapanda That was my thought as well-that someone might spot the baby in the car and go over to make a fuss of them. You can’t win sometimes!

Yeah ok have a child free wedding, that's your decision, but don't get arsey when I can't go because I have kids and your wedding is nowhere near where I live and my only overnight babysitters are going to your child free wedding.

I got married in 1972 . My husband and I were very young so didn’t have large amounts of money to pay for the wedding. We were also the first of our siblings to marry so there weren’t many children in the family. Anyway to keep numbers down we said no children other than my eleven year old brother, my eleven year old cousin and my husbands twelve year old sister as the two girls were bridesmaids .
Nobody minded at all . So child free weddings were about even 50 years ago .

It’s not child free if you had some children though !

Limiting children to those of close family only is very much not a child free wedding, is it?

i can totally understand limiting numbers of children, particularly when people get married later and lots of friends have children, making it all a bit unmanageable (and costly).