Inheritance for Stepchildren?

[HeyHowYouDoing]

More of a WWYD?

DP previously married, 2 children now 17 and 21. Divorced well before I met him. Mother of DSC remarried, one more child, appearances suggest they are well off.

DP and I have been together over 10 years, 2 children of our own. DP pays child support to ex, and gives older children extra money/gifts as and when. But we are not well off. I have met DSC probably 6 times each when they have been to stay (due to distance), all very pleasant, but not strong relationship (between me and them).

DP and I are not married. In time I expect to inherit enough money to buy our own house outright. At this point I will need to rewrite my will. I would ensure my DP could live in the house for as long as he needed, but it would be split between my children. However, I don’t expect my partner to have much to leave his kids. In this situation, would you leave money to your DSC and if so what value/proportion? My gut feeling is as half-siblings to my children I would like to leave them something. Just interested to hear what others would do.

No I wouldn’t. They have two parents. Your children deserve what you have to leave.

Why will your DP not have much to leave his older DCs?
Is he paying a lot on family bills now or hobbies, debts?

No i would think they get from their parents. You only provide for your own children

Are you currently renting or do you have a house with a mortgage which you will pay off in full when you get your inheritance?
If the former, I would not leave anything to DSC. If the latter, your partner would have a share in the house (assuming you currently both contribute to the mortgage) and he should split his share between his 4 children.

I decided to treat my dss in my will as one of my own. Even if DH and I divorce or he dies and I remarry.

I really acknowledge the importance of his relationship with his half siblings (my children) and the powerful impact this could have in their lives once we are gone.

It's not about the money it's about treating them all as equals and to avoid any upset to their relationships.

My dad didn't get any recognition in his stepmother (of 60.years) will and it broke his heart. Not for the money but the lack of love he thought she had for him. I would hate dss to feel a second of unfairness.

Not when you hardly know them.

I absolutely wouldn't be making provisions for my SDC - even if I saw them every day.

Thats for your DP and their DM to sort. Neither would I expect my DP to make provisions for my DC in his will as their DF and I will be sorting that.

No. Absolutely not. Your children should not miss out because of your choice to re marry.

My husband has left his house to his adult children, we both live in his home. We are a close unit and all the kids, including my adult kids from a previous marriage visit regularly, spend special occasions with one another etc.

Obviously my children will NOT be getting any share of his house and nor should they. Everyone is aware of the will, and it is fine as it's the right thing to do.

If he passes before me I will receive one third of his savings, all of his super, all of his furniture and his car, and the right of residence meaning I can stay here till I die. This is standard and perfectly normal and I am happy with it.

Your DP’s Dc haven’t lived with you as part of your family, or been live in siblings to your Dc, I wouldn’t really think they would even expect you to leave anything to them.

What will be important though is that if he goes first you make sure they are welcome to have any moments or sentimental family ‘heirlooms’ of his that the remember from their childhoods etc.

It wouldn't matter if they had. It is her job to provide for her own children, not her step children. Her children should not miss out because she decided to re marry.

No, I wouldn’t. You should have a will at the moment ring fencing anything for your children and be ready as soon as you receive any change in your circumstances to rewrite.

Too many times we see on MN the story of mother dies, partner finds a new person and leaves all the money from original partner to their new one, cutting out inheritance to original blood DC.
Would DSC’s mother leave anything to your children?

If you are buying a house together (regardless of input) then surely that would be split between you and your DP. At which point he can split his percentage between his children and you can do likewise for your own.

I’m in a similar position. My will leaves the house split equally between our shared children and the SC on his death, should I die first. The rest of my estate including money and belongings, and rights I have to various works of art plus any other assets/my share of them go to my children only.

Same here.

our house is in my sole name. I have assets in my name.

dh signed over his house to his ex when he left (her affair btw). She’d already emptied the joint accounts and squirrelled a lot away in preparation so he left with nothing, when he met me he had nothing.

he doesn’t earn a lot, and after he pays maintenance and expenses for his kids he doesn’t have much left. I pay all the bills, mortgage etc.

dh will get my pensions and a life interest in the house. My children get the house and everything else.

we expect his children to get the house she has now, that dh paid a significant amount toward. It’s in the SE so worth a lot now, and he left her with a small mortgage that should be paid off by now. Obviously she may choose to leave it to her new husband or someone else, but not much we can do about that.

No, you should take care of your own children. Your partner should take care of his children, including any children he shares with you.

We’re late 40s MW jobs. His money pays CM, debts and day to day costs. When CM stops he’s going to have to start saving for his retirement.

Yes currently renting.

I will likely have a sizeable inheritance. It’s all going to my joint DC with DH. I am not leaving anything to DSC. They have their own parents to inherit from. It won’t be anything like mine, but that’s life.

So if I paid 100% of the house, bills, maintenance etc you would expect half of that to belong to my DP?

Agree.

If you had more of a relationship, 50:50 care or even EOW then you may want to do something but in the circumstances you describe i wouldn't consider his DC as your SDC.

This

You would need to own the house outright and then leave a clear Will stating your DP could lift there until death/meets someone else (so his home is protected) but when the time comes it is sold for your children to inherit.

Totally agree with this. Stepchildren could potentially be inheriting from 2 parents PLUS 2 step parents. Hard no for me

Do you have a partnership? Even if your DH hasn't contributed to your house financially, has he in other ways? If so, I would leave something to them. I'm guessing if he hadn't met you then he'd probably be better off, and quite honestly if you have 2 children together, then his children have most certainly missed out due to your joint children, financially and emotionally. You don't have to of course, but it would be the right thing to do.

So it would be your house not dps? Do you plan to get married?
if it’s yours I would leave it to your dc. Your dp can leave any assets he has to his 4 children and your step children will inherit from their mum.