Friend 'sobbing in the kitchen' over Ozzy Osborne

[lronWoman]

I'm not generally a mean spirited person but I just can't take this seriously!

My friend has never been a Black Sabbath fan and I've never heard her mention Ozzy once in the 20 years I've known her. However, her and her sister are apparently 'beside themselves with grief' over his death.

I just don't understand this type of performative grief over A list celebrities that people have never met. It's sad and I get that it kind of marks the end of an era, but the guy lived to a ripe old age in the lap of luxury and was one of the most celebrated rock stars the world has ever known. It's not like a present day star has suddenly been cut down in their prime and will no longer be releasing new albums. They'd already released all their famous stuff before we were born.

She wasn't sobbing in the kitchen when an old mutual workmate died unexpectedly in his late 30s a fortnight ago. Guy wasn't a close friend of ours but we were friendly. Used to go to the pub as a group and he helped us move house, refusing to accept a penny for it. Really nice bloke! We hadn't seen him in close to a decade but both felt sad about it for a few days. But no sobbing in the kitchen!

Latest comment is "he's up there at the bar with gramps". I'm finding it hard not to make an inappropriate joke tbh!

100% agree

I didn't say that everyone from the SE was weeping and wailing. Rather that those I saw being interviewed who were weeping and wailing were invariably of that demographic. Clearly everyone from the SE/London was not outside Buckingham Palace.

He was arrested for physically assaulting his wife, he missed the birth of one of this kids because he was in bed with the Nanny and he bragged about shooting cats for fun. But yeah, other than that what a great bloke.

I sometimes cry at Instagram videos of dogs, I'd hope a supposed friend wasn't writing a post judging me on an internet forum about it.

When David Bowie died I was distraught, because my mum loves him and was his age and unwell at the time so it just made me think about her mortality. Emotions aren't always logical.

I take the points about it triggering memories. Like maybe some people remember their dad always blasting Black Sabbath when he was fixing something in the garage. I don't think that's the case with my mate though as she doesn't like rock music and never watched The Osbornes.

It was intended as a fairly light hearted thread but I do sometimes wonder if the people getting caught up in all this public hysteria would've been part of the crowd screaming to burn the witch a few hundred years ago when an old lady was accused after her neighbour's goat popped it's clogs.

It's that dynamic where people will act in ways which would normally seem bonkers so long as they're validated by others. Like, I doubt many people would've been booking days off work to go and wail outside the palace if nobody else had been.

The ridiculous outpouring on social media over that footballer killed in a car crash recently was crazy to me.
He was just a random man, people didn’t know him personally. It’s ok to think it’s sad, but the grief/sobbing and tributes were ridiculous.

Plus he was speeding. I don’t think people would be so lenient if some random bloke down the road killed himself in a speeding car.

After a PP mentioned the response to Rudolph Valentino's death back in 1926, I looked at the Wiki entry. It seems to have been really quite something. 100,000 people lined the streets for his funeral, with fan suicides reported, and an all day riot.

Did she tell you she was sobbing in the kitchen, did you see her doing it, or did she (yawn) post about it on SM? I wasn't quite clear from your earlier posts.

I find this kind of attitude really strange. Because he was speeding his doesn't deserve grief? He was someone's husband, someone's father.

I've lost loved ones who died due to their own poor decisions, doesn't make it any less sad.

If he’d been speeding and wiped out another car and killed a family aswell as himself, would he have been so deserving of everyone’s grief?

By speeding so recklessly, he was endangering other people, not just himself. Makes him pretty selfish in my eyes.

I am torn. I had a severe depressive episode after Robin Williams died. I wasn't and obsessive fan, but he had been a presence through out my life and the fact that he was open about his mental health issues (which I was also experiencing) and the nature of his death just kicked off a cascade of issues that I wasn't ready for.

But there is a point that you realise that the person you are mourning, isn't actually a person you had a meanningful connection too, and there are people who are actually mourining a loss from their lives.

Wierdly I cried when the tree was cut down at Hadrians Wall. I used to visit it when studying in Cumbria, and it really felt like a proper loss.

Grief is very strange.

I cried when the Queen died, also George Michael, Amy Winehouse and Victoria Wood. I had a proper cry about Jade Goody, but so had worked w her a fair bit and spent time with her and her children. But no sobbing on the floor. Just a little tear and a think about how much I have enjoyed watching/hearing them. And I also did not post about that on SM, which I assume is how you know this. It’s odd.

I think she has a point that a rando who killed not just himself but someone else through speeding would have received none of the (sanitised) public outpourings of grief that this man did. They'd have been pilloried in the press and the court of public opinion for their actions.

Although his death was sad, my main emotion in situations like this is relief that. he only killed himself (and his passenger) through his actions rather than some other innocent road user.

If that was your loved one would you still not feel sad that they were gone, even if they had behaved recklessly and endangered others?

I would personally, but we're all different.

Latest comment is "he's up there at the bar with gramps".

I don’t believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I doubt Ozzy Osbourne has passed up the chance for a drink with Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison or Janis Joplin to buy a pint for some random woman’s grandad.

But we're not talking about HER loved one. We're discussing the very public and sanitised public outpouring of grief for a complete stranger who (allegedly) killed himself and his own brother through his illegal actions.

If it were her relative, of course one would expect her to be sad he is gone. She might also be incandescently angry with him too, which would be perfectly understandable in the circumstances.

Of course, if it was my loved one. But I’d still think they were an idiot.
That footballer was not everyone’s ’loved one’. I understand people feeling that’s it was very tragic, but I found the outpouring of public grief very strange. Same over the 1D lad who jumped off that balcony off his face on drugs.

I never understand this either. I remember going to work the day after Michael Jackson died and some of my coleages had taken the day off sick to grieve?!

How long did they take off for Jimmy Saville's demise?

My sister spent the day after he died listening to his music and crying.

When I mentioned I don't think she was a fan or had any of his records, she had gone out that day to buy them.

The majority of people are like me on hearing the news of a celebrity they liked or admired . Just think Oh that's a shame, his family will miss him,quick reminisce and then get on with the rest of their day .
Not in UK so Princess Diana death was a non event . Idle curiosity about the vast numbers of people behaving irrationally. One local hairdresser was distraught and took the day off . She said she knew her so well from the HELLO magazines in the salon ! 🤣🤣

Wish there were more out pouring of grief from the children dying of hunger in Gaza .

@Butchyrestingface @Pricelessadvice No we're not talking about a personal loved one, but the original post I was responding to said "It’s ok to think it’s sad, but the grief/sobbing and tributes were ridiculous."

I just don't personally think it's okay to police other people's grief and declare what is 'ok' and what isn't, regardless of whether or not you knew them personally.

And I find the suggestion that some people are less deserving of grief because they were speeding or because they took drugs quite distasteful.

She's behaving like a cringey twatbag, my eyes would roll so hard I'd be thrown back in time.

However, if she's generally pleasant and not usually a totally performative embarrassment, I'd just ignore this one.

It's called catharsis. It's why for thousands of years people have been writing tragedies and dramas so that people can communally cry and grieve. They can project their own emotions (too complex and difficult and close to home to manage) onto a 'god' or a main character or a celebrity.

It did not start with Diana ffs. Rudolf Valentino's death in the 20s elicited the same outpouring of public grief as well as an array of suicides by people (women) who didn't even know him.

I think there's probably a core group of celebs (actors, TV presenters or whatever) that are in your core memories in formative years of your life, and when they start dropping off that can be really sad, as it signals the end of something. Nostalgia is a powerfully emotive things. Whether this was the case for OP's friend and Ozzy – who know! I did see one of those AI generated videos on TikTok of him beginning in a wheelchair and then reversing back in time getting younger and younger, and it was pretty sad. Those videos are always sad when they go back in time until they were children.