Friend 'sobbing in the kitchen' over Ozzy Osborne

[lronWoman]

I'm not generally a mean spirited person but I just can't take this seriously!

My friend has never been a Black Sabbath fan and I've never heard her mention Ozzy once in the 20 years I've known her. However, her and her sister are apparently 'beside themselves with grief' over his death.

I just don't understand this type of performative grief over A list celebrities that people have never met. It's sad and I get that it kind of marks the end of an era, but the guy lived to a ripe old age in the lap of luxury and was one of the most celebrated rock stars the world has ever known. It's not like a present day star has suddenly been cut down in their prime and will no longer be releasing new albums. They'd already released all their famous stuff before we were born.

She wasn't sobbing in the kitchen when an old mutual workmate died unexpectedly in his late 30s a fortnight ago. Guy wasn't a close friend of ours but we were friendly. Used to go to the pub as a group and he helped us move house, refusing to accept a penny for it. Really nice bloke! We hadn't seen him in close to a decade but both felt sad about it for a few days. But no sobbing in the kitchen!

Latest comment is "he's up there at the bar with gramps". I'm finding it hard not to make an inappropriate joke tbh!

I remember the hordes of wailing, clothes-rending, hair-tearing, flag-wearing mourners outside the gates of Buckingham Palace when Diana died and thinking bemusedly that the southern English really were a separate species to the rest of us and worthy of scientific study in a laboratory somewhere.

Mind you, apparently Pavarotti really gied it laldy at her actual funeral, in a way that made the English look cold and stiff upper lipped.

You weren't wrong! I was aghast at the performative grief at that time. I was sad for the boys, but Diana herself was a tiresome woman who would still be with us and still trying to get attention away from the Royal Family, but probably getting a lot less uncritical adulation at 64 than she did in her 20s and 30s, if she'd just worn her seatbelt.

Agreed! See also: Judi Dench, Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney.

It’s unnecessary to look down on people for it. It’s not as though they are doing anything wrong or mean-spirited, they are just having an emotional reaction. Death opens up a lot of doors in people, and often celebrity deaths can signal what feels like the end of an era and a connection to something in your past. Crying over a lost work colleague isn’t all that strange, she could be thinking about his family for example and just find it terribly sad.
(And no, I’ve never cried over a celeb death myself).

I swear MN is just becoming a place full of bullies sometimes.

😆😆😆 maybe a donation to the black bat society would help!

The point is she didn't cry over the old work friend, but she sobbed uncontrollably over a man she'd never met and whose music she never listened to. I'd have rolled my eyes and probably walked straight back out.

I don’t think it is odd that she posted her bafflement on here. She needed to offload to someone and her friend was otherwise engaged with all the grieving.

The forum is anonymous. None of us has a clue about the identity of the poster or her friend.

Ozzy Osmourn

Yes. I was 7 when she died. I was yet to live in the UK. I remeber watching the news and asked my mother if the crowds shown in the tv knew her. And to this day, everytime Harry or Will does something the comment sections is full of "Diana would be proud" and "Diana is smiling down". Wtf? You don't know any of these people.

I'm guessing your friend doesn't know about his history of Domestic Violence and cruelty to animals.

I agree.

God I haven’t really given it a second thought. I think my mums death has toughened me up somewhat -
she only lived 2 years longer than him and she didn’t even even eat macdonalds or drink alcohol - she really looked after herself. So that stings.

This.

And why do they have to be mean to op while doing so?

London maybe.
I had the same reaction as you seeing on TV.
I didn't see any people sobbing anywhere in northern England.

I remember the hordes of wailing, clothes-rending, hair-tearing, flag-wearing mourners outside the gates of Buckingham Palace when Diana died and thinking bemusedly that the southern English really were a separate species to the rest of us and worthy of scientific study in a laboratory somewhere

interesting they were all southern English though? Did you do some sort of check…were other countries incapable of travel at that time?

I misread the work colleague part! I still don’t think it warrants disdain, as many people have said it can just be an emotional reaction for whatever reason. Maybe her dad or uncle loved Ozzy, maybe she has some significant memory that has drudged up other feelings that aren’t easily identifiable. I also think that many celebs are portrayed as pretty timeless, they just keep going, it feels like they are always around. It can rouse feelings of your own and others mortality when they inevitably decline.

So was her grandfather a fan? The Queen died on the anniversary of my Mum's death. Me and my eldest were counting down the day, it was obvious that the Queen was dying, but it was as much to do with my Mum, as the Queen. Prince Philip died on the anniversary of my DH's death, when my eldest was 20, so it was those connections.

As said, Elvis's death was the first outpouring of grief I witnessed, then James Bulger (quite justified imo). Then Diana. Then Hillsborough. I can remember exactly what I was doing when I heard that John Smith had died. I'm not a person who cries, but there are deaths that if I think about them, I do get a wave of sadness, sometimes it's murder victims I've read about, or avoidable deaths. I cried watching the children disappear in Syria. If that makes me someone to laugh at, so be it.

It's a bit weird if she wasn't a fan and not a metal fan.
Was she a fan of the MTV show?
Me and a lot of my friends are/were Ozzy/metal fans so I have seen a lot of tributes on social media, but no wailing.

I judged it on the basis of those being interviewed. I guess other countries could have sent their wailing, Union Jack-wearing sorts over to Buckie Palace in hopes they'd get lost and not come back.

I sometimes feel sad when I hear about these deaths but it doesn’t last. By the end of the day I am on to the next thing. So it is ordinary human sadness that I feel not grief. With respect, we should leave the grieving to their true loved ones.

I was in Glasgow and don't recall any wailing here. I was working in a library during my uni holidays and I remember the council placing books of condolence in all the libraries. The punters weren't exactly queueing round the block to sign them.

I didn't see anyone wailing and sobbing when Diana died although people were a bit shocked at the way it happened and sad for her children. The floral tributes were a new phenomena.

A bit different, but I went to see Dunkirk shortly after my Dad died. I was sobbing uncontrollably by the end because I'd been holding it together sorting out the house, probate etc and the film just triggered me because he was the same age those airmen and soldiers would have been. He wasn't even at Dunkirk but grief can be triggered in different ways and I think the death of a celebrity can come into this.

I really detest this sort of performative (and completely insincere) grieving for celebs when they die. Another weird side to social media. The very vast majority of people I've seen who are 'devastated' that Ozzy has passed are probably too young to have seen the TV show and have definitely never shared what a fan they are of his music 🤔

Nobody will judge you if you don't put up an 'rip' post within 2 hours of a death announcement.

So you're a journalist looking to find a story after the death of a celebrity (e.g. Diana) who do you interview? - the wailing, performative ones obviously. It doesn't mean everyone there was wailing.

Don't be harsh. I was the same when Kenneth Williams and, more recently, when Norman Tebbit died..