To find this situation awkward?

[metellaestinatrio]

Spent this afternoon at the local park with my DCs. A child we sometimes see at the same park prior to an activity my older kids do in term-time was there with both parents and his baby sibling. He’s probably about seven. He has previously asked to join in my children’s game of football and we have agreed although both times it’s been a short game as my kids need to head off to their tennis lesson.

Today he came straight over and hovered near us and his parents asked if he could play with my DC. So there I was playing with all four kids (mine plus the extra) while the other child’s parents stood nearby with their baby. AIBU to think parents should play with their own child rather than letting them push themselves onto other people like this? My kids were being super polite but didn’t even like this child that much!

This thread has turned into quite the character assassination. I’ve been called “mean spirited”, “cruel”, “weird”, “lacking in social skills” and “up my own arse” amongst other choice descriptions when all I was doing was questioning the other parents’ approach. I should not have posted in AIBU I guess! I understand and have accepted that many don’t agree with me. Thanks to those who understood where I was coming from, and to those who explained the other perspective kindly without resorting to insults. In future I will either accept the random kid without the private eye roll at his parents or put on my big girl pants and say no!

This wouldn't bother me. I used to find it tricky sometimes at soft play or park when parents/carers would sit in the cafe or just chatting to someone and their little one would follow me, as it can feel like they are using you to mind/entertain their child and you sort of end up feeling responsible as nobody else seems to be watching them! but this is an older child who wants to play a game with other children and the parents are right there, not disappearing off!

Do you really not see that their way is possibly better than yours? They made some human contact in a way that cost nothing, and maybe being just a bit more open brings positives for everyone, including you.

You see things as an imposition that others see as just socialising.

I'm trying to say that they're potentially showing you a better way, a way that has more positive human interaction.

My son was always the one hovering on the sidelines hoping for someone to play with. He lacked social skills amongst other issues and it used to break my heart. So I can understand the parents asking (I used to pluck up the courage sometimes too). But, I would not have sat there sipping coffee whilst another parent entertained my child. I would have offered to supervise them all, or at least take turns. There were 2 of these other parents as well. Surely they both didn't need to sit and let the OP get on with it.

They presumably assumed that the children would play with each other, and didn't need an adult to micro manage that play.

Playing with other children is an important thing for dc to do. It is an integral part of their development. It hones social skills, empathy, understanding, negotiating, organising and so much more. Dc shouldn't be micro-managed all the time.

If your kids were similar ages why couldn't they just play together? Did you need to o play with them?