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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you believe you’ve lived a luckier life than most?

329 replies

MyAmusedOpalCrab · 21/07/2025 16:27

Whether it’s down to circumstances, timing, support, or sheer chance - do you ever stop and think, “I’ve had it easier than others?” Or do you believe we mostly make our own luck?

OP posts:
Imperfectpolly · 21/07/2025 16:31

I think I've had zero luck in life. Dh will sometimes say we're lucky to have our house. I disagree and think we had no luck and just worked really bloody hard for it.

CommissarySushi · 21/07/2025 16:32

So far, yes, but there's plenty of time for things to go wrong yet. I do like to look on the bright side.

W0tnow · 21/07/2025 16:32

A bit of both. Circumstances and chance have gone my way on occasion. I purchased property at the right time, for example. I have taken some risks though, and made some major life decisions that could have gone either way. They have worked out well but took some bravery at the time.

I will say that in my mid 50s I’ve not experienced great tragedy or heartache. I’m aware life can change in an instant. Friends have lost children to terrible diseases, friends are dying from terrible diseases. I’m so lucky in that regard.

SchnizelVonKrumm · 21/07/2025 16:32

Posters living in the UK in 2025 are luckier in most respects than the vast majority of human beings who have ever existed.

FortheloveofCheesus · 21/07/2025 16:34

Yes i think I've had lots of luck
A happy family upbringing with parents who were comfortable financially
Found school/qualifications easy
Have had several "right place right time" moments in terms of getting jobs etc
Met DH who had a similarly fortunate start in life
Lucky to be born in the UK

JudgeBread · 21/07/2025 16:35

I mean yeah, if you're looking at the rest of the world I've been luckier than most purely by virtue of where I happened to be born.

Sure I don't have much money and I have some debt, sure my mental health hasn't been great sometimes, sure I've had my fair share of grief. But I've never known starvation, I've never had a bomb dropped on me, I've never had a child die of something entirely preventable because medical care is just poor, I've never been in danger of physical harm or death for traits I have which I cannot change, I've never really genuinely had my life in true danger. I've always had a roof over my head and at least some food in my belly, access to reasonable education and healthcare, enough freedom to live mostly as I wish.

I think I'm very blessed compared to a huge proportion of people on earth.

VioletandDill · 21/07/2025 16:35

I have running water, reliable food, a roof over my head, working plumbing, family and friends...that's a lot luckier than an awful lot of people around the world. So yes.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 21/07/2025 16:37

In some ways. Certainly lucky to have been born in the UK and not a war zone or region with starvation and drought.

Im lucky to have a secure roof over my head because i was able to get a housing association property. Lucky to have been able to have children like I wanted, lucky to be loved, lucky to be able to do the hobbies that I love to do. There's food in the house, I can pay my bills and although there's nothing much left after that, I can pay them. Many people can't.

My health is shit but I'm lucky that the nhs means my medication is affordable otherwise i'd be dead by now.

VinoEsmeralda · 21/07/2025 16:41

We have our health, which has not always been the case. Sensible, hardworking and nice DC who give us no trouble. Both jobs we enjoy most of the time. We still fancy each other. Life has generally been good to us but hasn't always been easy but I think it has made us more appreciative of what we have.

Miley23 · 21/07/2025 16:42

In some respects I've been lucky. Good parents, stable upbringing, lovely husband, never been out of a job and always had a decent standard of living. I've never had to worry about whether I have food in the cupboards of electricity. Through my job I see people living in awful flats with unsocial neighbors and living in poverty and it makes me realize how lucky I am. Some people have really shit lives with little prospect of escape.

I don't have any major health issues and have got to the age of 57 without any major illnesses. Likewise most of my kids have had very few health issues, no SEN etc. I feel I've had bad luck with deaths in the family, three out of four parents ( me and dh) dying suddenly without warning, no time to say goodbye etc but this is part of life that everyone goes through and really seeing elderly parents go through years of decline , in pain etc would be equally bad if not worse.

GreenSedan · 21/07/2025 16:44

100% yes.

I was born in a stable country at a stable time to parents who wanted me and wanted to be good parents to me. No one abused me. No one exploited me.

We didnt have much money growing up, but I was well fed and well housed and well educated.

I honestly can't think of anything more I could ask for. Everything else that's happened to me has been down to my choices.

Crushed23 · 21/07/2025 16:44

Definitely. Born and raised in the west as a female and still live here.

Had I been born in Iran or North Korea, life would be very different.

NerrSnerr · 21/07/2025 16:45

I have been lucky that when I went to university age 18 I met the best group of people, including my husband who have become my family. I also feel lucky that my husband and I have stable jobs and happy and (relatively) healthy children.

I have had bad luck when it comes to family with lots of sadness and tragedy.

TankFlyBossW4lk · 21/07/2025 16:45

I feel exceptionally lucky. About pretty much everything, though I've had heartache. I'm lucky to be born here, to have had the opportunities I've had.

Once my son had to have an exchange transfusion in hospital and I slept on a sofa in a corridor to be near him. I started to moan about how awful it was and my husband said, " it's not awful, it would be awful if they'd just left him to get neurological damage, because they didn't have the equipment..." I had to agree.

Goatinthegarden · 21/07/2025 16:46

I think I’m incredibly lucky. I get up and work hard every day, but I’m still incredibly lucky. I’m lucky that I was born to parents who were good role models who prioritised my education and built my confidence. I’m lucky I was born in a safe country. I look after my health and I exercise, but I’m lucky that I have no health conditions that make it difficult to do so. I’m lucky to have met someone who is kind and has a good moral compass - but I’m also lucky to have been brought up by parents in a secure relationship and so knows what a good partner looks like.

I’ve had my fair share of sad moments, death, grief, break ups, etc. but on the whole I enjoy my life.

I watch what is happening in the world just now, particularly in Gaza, and my heart hurts thinking about it. Tiny children, starving to death…and parents having to watch helplessly.

May913 · 21/07/2025 16:47

I guess it depends how low you're setting the bar. Finding out my husband had never loved or been attracted to me and had been trying to have affairs with women and men all through our relationship (25 years) was pretty shit, but I guess it was better than being born in North Korea.

YesHonestly · 21/07/2025 16:49

In comparison to who/what?

I had an unstable/abusive childhood, experienced domestic abuse in my first relationship, lost two close family members in traumatic circumstances at young ages, one parent had cancer and the other has had a stroke.

Lucky compared to my friendship group? Absolutely not.
Lucky compared to other women in the world such as Afghanistan? Without a doubt.

Sep88 · 21/07/2025 16:50

I think I’m happier for being grateful and feeling lucky for what I do have than being angry for what I don’t…

Jc2001 · 21/07/2025 16:50

Imperfectpolly · 21/07/2025 16:31

I think I've had zero luck in life. Dh will sometimes say we're lucky to have our house. I disagree and think we had no luck and just worked really bloody hard for it.

Absolutely agree, but some people don't have the same start in life, don't have the encouragement or support from their parents and don't get the education they need to be successful.

It's massively down to hard work but there is 'luck' involved in having parental support in the early years.

Cynic17 · 21/07/2025 16:51

Probably. Intelligent enough to do well at school and university. Always worked. Long marriage. No children (so greatly reduced stress and pressure). Hobbies. Happy with own company. Good health.
I think some of this is luck, but some of it is because me and my husband have worked hard, and made sensible choices.

Mumdiva99 · 21/07/2025 16:51

Yes. Similar to other posters. I was loved, fed, dressed, given opportunities. But I was also tought to work hard, save for things, be grateful, and to make my own opportunities. So yes lucky, but also some of my own doing.

CurlewKate · 21/07/2025 16:51

I do.

Parky04 · 21/07/2025 16:52

I've had lots of luck. Was born in 1971 and left school with no qualifications. It was very easy to get an office job. Bought my 3 bed semi for £67000 in 1996. I received an inheritance which meant I could retire at 49. I have excellent pensions to look forward too. And our health has been very good up to now.

I was very fortunate to be born when I was.

KimberleyClark · 21/07/2025 16:53

Yes I’m lucky. I have a comfortable life in a safe country, I’m very happily married for 35 years, fit and reasonably healthy bar a couple of minor ailments. DH and I were not able to have children, but whether that is bad luck,good luck, who knows?

captainvontrap · 21/07/2025 16:53

Yes so much unbelievable luck. I live in fear of it running out.