To let 12 year old DS get ear lobes pierced?

[Anotherdaysameolddrama]

DH thinks I am the height of irresponsible and that DS will be bullied mercilessly after the holidays.

DS12 has wanted both ears pierced since he was 10. Back then he was doing sport multiple times a week that would have made it problematic. He no longer does those, so no problem with healing over the holidays etc.
He has researched a local piercing and tattoo place which has good reviews, they require a parents permission for lobe piercings under 14. He came to ask me when I would be free to go with him. He has money from his birthday that he wants to use (although tbh I would be happy to pay). They have appointments available in a week or so.

DS says he just likes the look of earrings. None of his male friends have both ears done, one has a single earring, all his female friends have both done. He has a lovely group of friends with a mix of disabilities and differences, they are incredibly supportive of each other. DS doesn’t see this as being a gender thing, he is happy with who he is as a male, he just likes the look. School are fine with plain metal studs and he knows that’s the deal. He wears glasses so doesn’t do any contact sports in school either.

My older DD had hers done when she was 10 with no issues, but now chooses not to wear earrings a lot of the time anyway. I have said to DH that it’s really not a big deal, he can take earrings out if he chooses, just like DD. However DH is convinced that if he goes ahead, he’s going to be bullied by other kids at school. I honestly don’t know what to think now. He’s a pretty confident kid who hasn’t really had any issues with bullying in the past, and is also tall for his age. I suspect DH possibly considers it effeminate to have both done and there might be less of a reaction to one ear, but he won’t dare say that to me.
None of the other men within the family, of any age, have any piercings.

Does DH have a point here?

I doubt it.
It’s not a rare thing for boys to have earrings nowadays. I’d be surprised if it was something people bullied each other over anymore. Personally I hate the look of two earrings on boys but it’s not my son and it’s not my ears so 🤷🏼‍♀️.
He’s old enough to understand the potential consequences and if he hates them he can just remove them. Not that big a deal.

Nah, let him get them done. I don’t think it’s the same as when we were younger, it’s probably more fashionable now and not seen as effeminate. Doesn’t Beckham have both his ears pierced?

I’d let him

Ds is 10. Getting his done tomorrow.. Just 1 though.

I think I'm with your husband on this one. Nothing to stop DS getting the other one pierced in a year or two, just not together. I think there's less chance of bullying if he just has the one. One is cool for a male of that age, two not so much!
I've never really liked piercings on males until they're 18 and girls 13. These are only my personal opinions obviously. I had my first ear piercing for my 13th birthday and now I have 3 in each ear.

I don’t think you/DH can reasonably object since DD got hers pierced at 10! Especially since he’s spending his own money. Worse case scenario he changes his mind, takes them out and they heal up. But I think it’s more a thing now for boys than it used to be. My cousin in his early 20s has both pierced, there was a teen boy behind DD in piercing queue when she got hers done, one of my teen nephews also has both.

it isn't unusual around here at all

Admittedly I don't live in the uk but here in Scandinavia its really not uncommon to see boys/teens/young adult men with 2 ears pierced.

I cannot see why he shouldn't get it done, if he changes his mind he can just take one or both out! Let him express himself

I wouldn't let any child, male or female, having piercing at 12.

I would refuse and let him wait until he’s an adult wns then he can choose and hopefully by then he will have realised it’s an awful idea and will look terrible for some job interviews

I can’t imagine an interviewer would look twice at someone with earrings.

Your DH is being unreasonable. Your son is old enough to realise what reaction he will get from peers (if any) to having both ears pierced. You let his sister get hers done at 10 and he is 12 and has thought about it for 2 years and still wants them doing. I would let him 100%.

You know they’re removable. He can take them out for any interview he wants to.

Why?

I really can't see the issue, loads of boys have their ears pierced.

If you let him do it, make sure he’s aware that he has to keep earrings in his ears pretty much 24/7 for the first year. He’s going to have to wear at least very small earrings no matter who he’s around and how they might react.

I can’t see any issue, if he will look after them and keep them clean, take them out for PE etc.

I don’t think there’s any issue these days with boys having ear piercing, certainly not where we live.

I would absolutely be fine with this and really can’t see any issues re bullying.

We’re a piercing family though, DD has just added a vertical labret and two new ear ones to her collection.

I think it’s really common for men and boys to have both ears pierced nowadays, going back 30 years ago when I was at school there was a fair few then who had both ears pierced and some multiple times in each lobe. If he wants it done I don’t see why not and as others have said, he can always take one or both out if he changes his mind.

No u see a boy with an ear piercing and automatically judge n think what the hell are the parents thinking letting their kids sport the thug look

😂

It’s not the 1700’s.

Of course you let him, they're his ears, it's a low risk procedure and he can take them out any time.

Its much more common for boys to get both done than it used to be. Even if it wasn't what a sexist message to send to say he can only have one because he's a boy, he wants two so maybe he's actually a girl then?

Stupid people might think that, but most of us don’t live our lives by the standards and views of the stupid.

Our son has his lobes pierced, no issues taking them out for PE etc, no issues with bullying, but if there was it isn’t a reason not to do it, teaching your children to only do things that are bully approved is a fairly shit thing to teach them. OP does your husband actually mean he bullied lads with pierced ears, so he thinks everyone else is on his level?

What's good for the goose... You cant say no to ds after saying yes to younger dd. My step dad is in his 60s and has both done! My kids are still way too young, but i feel about 9/10 depending on maturity, and if they ask, is fine. Its not a nipple piercing after all!

Maybe stereotyping, but single earrings are more typical of thugs, no? Dosent jack sparrow have both done, or am I reaching?