Always using the wrong name!

[RedxRobin]

This is partly a vent and partly an AIBU. Just had the DH's family to stay for the weekend - SiL can be quite challenging in many ways but has driven me nuts all weekend by saying DD's name wrong. DD has a very normal name which I wouldn't consider unusual and yet SiL keeps calling her a very similar name (think Amelia instead of Amelie). I keep correcting her but she still keeps doing it. 😤
DD is 6 now and it is getting to a point that I'm getting seriously pissed off with it. Do I need to let it go or should I make a bigger deal out of it? I just can't understand how someone seems to find it so difficult to get someone's name right!

Start calling her by a similar but incorrect name.

Just start calling SIL by a different name

Just start calling SIL by a different name

I get it is annoying, but personally I wouldn't let it wind me up. If you must, correct her everytime, but I'd just let it go. There really is no point getting worked up about it. You can't control what SIL does but you can control your reaction.

Is she doing it on purpose? Does she have a speech impediment or some other reason she can’t get this right?

I think the other adults and kids need to be part of the change of behavior ‘oh silly aunty Robin calling Amelia Amelie again, you’d think she’d have learned by now!’

I get what you say, but DD is now getting to an age where she doesn't like it but she feels too embarrassed to say anything but gets upset to me about it later.

Definitely do this right back to SIL. Every single time.

She doesn't have a speech impediment. She's quite self involved and talks a lot so I think that she doesn't hear me when I correct her as she is too busy talking!

I'm thinking I might ask MiL to have a word. I don't want to make a big deal but it's also getting to the point where it's a bit ridiculous!

On the face of it it is rude but I would add that there’s a couple of names I really struggle with and I don’t know why. Your example is one of them. Brendon and Brandon is another. It’s like my brain has a block. It may not be deliberate - or she might be a twat. It says more about her than anything else. Teach dd to correct her - “silly auntie, that’s not my name” type response.

I am bad with names, its no intentional and I often feel embarrassed by it, but once I have got a name wrong, my brain keeps on saying the wrong name. Its a glitch I have and no way do I do it on purpose.

What does she write on her birthday card? Does she get that right?

she's never sent her a birthday card 😂

Id just start calling SIL a different name every single time, when she askes why you can say now she knows how DD feels.

I mean before resorting to being petty I'd probably do two things to ensure it's not a misunderstanding and she's just shit with names.

First, I'd take her aside and talk to her bluntly. "SIL you keep getting Amelie's name wrong and it's starting to really upset her. Her name is Amelie, not Amelia. Please use the right one."

Second, teach your daughter that it's absolutely ok for her to correct her aunt. It's a good teaching moment for her, there's nothing to be embarrassed about in correcting someone politely when they get your name wrong.

If neither of those work then bring the petty. Start calling her Uncle Dick until she gets the hint.

If she’s not hearing you in the moment I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just have a quiet word?

it doesn’t need to be a big issue just say “DD is starting to notice that you pronounce her name as Amelia, I know you’re not doing it on purpose but could you try to be more conscious please as she’s asking why you keep getting her name wrong”

I had this with a colleague at work where I just could not get my head around her name and continually got it wrong, even after she corrected me. It was really bothering me too. I have now made up a rhyme to help me get it right.
I'm dyslexic and I think that's maybe something to do with why I struggle sometimes, I honestly don't hear the difference sometimes in my own head?! Just saying she May not be doing it on purpose.

Have you ever asked her about it? Hey SIL, is there a reason you always get DD's name wrong?

"First, I'd take her aside and talk to her bluntly. "SIL you keep getting Amelie's name wrong and it's starting to really upset her. Her name is Amelie, not Amelia. Please use the right one."

I would say this. It's clear.

And I'd continue to correct her every single time she says it wrong.
I'd also get your DH, presumably her brother, to have a word with her too.

The second time she did it would be the time for me to say ‘why are you calling her X, her name is Y’, a third time ‘you know that’s not her name, please don’t call her that’, a fourth time? ‘WTF is your problem?’

Sister in law so surely it's your OH position to correct his sister?

She's BiL's partner. OH likes confrontation even less than I do so hasn't said anything. He's also not very close to his B so doesn't want to cause issues.

Get SiL to play schools with your DD and they can practice writing each other's names.

Does she do it with anyone else’s name, or just your daughter? My MIL gets lots of people’s names wrong, and I don’t think it’s deliberate in her case - but any name that can be pronounced in two different ways (eg Evelyn, Sophia, Mia), she will always use the wrong one; Isabel will become Isabella and vice versa. She does it with lots of non-name words too, inverting syllables (so Sudoku becomes Soduko), and is totally unaware that she’s getting it wrong.

How can you not get worked up about your child’s auntie calling her by the wrong name? At 6?! I’d be fucking fuming, there’s no way she’s not doing it on purpose