Drug use- what do you find acceptable?

[Rachmumoftwo]

There is a thread that has touched on this already. What is acceptable drug use in your eyes? Is it OK to smoke a little weed when the children are in bed, or take cocaine on weekends or holidays, or is it totally irresponsible to even entertain the idea of drug taking if you are a parent (or if you are planning to be)?

I used to smoke cannabis because it got rid of the pain of ms. I smoked every day, because I was in pain every day and the cessation of pain made me more human. I stopped years ago as I hated all the other effects - my brain was quite muzzy enough all by itself, I was exhausted and wanted to sleep all the time anyway, so I really didn't need to smoke a drug that just exacerbated those symptoms. Although I smoked every day, the day my ms nurse told me that the cannabis trial had shown that it could exacerbate headaches was the day I stopped. There was no addiction to fight against, no cravings, nothing.

I knew people who took all sorts of drugs. I've never heard of anyone dropping dead from taking cocaine though. Has this really happened VS?

My personal view is if all drugs were legal then you foil the drug barons and dirty dealers in one fell swoop; you are far more able to control supply, gain from taxes on sales, and - most important - have control over quality, which will cut out all the other crap that most drugs are cut with, some of which are as dangerous, or more so, than the drug you think you're taking in the first place.

You can also educate people if you open. People don't tend to die from taking an E, they tend to dehydrate because they forget to drink water when they do take it. Heroin addicts o/d because this fix is purer than usual so they're taking more than they think they are, etc.

I think that anything (be it drugs or alcohol) that will impact how well you care for your LO's (even if they are in bed asleep) need to be avoided.
Never done drugs - so have no idea how they would effect me.
But both DH and I will only go out and have a few drinks if we have another sober adult (namely my mother )staying over. Otherwise if we are out and have a babysitter, then only one of us will drink.

I always think that there should be one adult in the position to drive etc in an emergency once you have LO's.

But then, both DH and I are not big drinkers, so it never bothers us.

But if you legalise everything,wouldn't health problems just escalate?

As I stated before alcohol causes more deaths than all the other 'drugs' combined and it is legal. So what would happen if all drugs were legalised?

Although regulation might initially control some of the nastier aspects associated with drug taking, unfortunately those making money out of everyone's usage are not going to go quietly even if they could convert their illegal operations into legit ones. The financial incentive (and that's what it is really all about) just would not be big enough and illegal trading would still continue as it does with alcohol and tobacco.

I wouldn't want to see 'Heroin happy hour' or Tesco's selling spliffs personally - alcohol still has restrictions placed on it now which are blatently ignored - underage excessive drinking is a problem and obviously some parents think it is acceptable to enable their children to get drunk.
Many prescription medicines still end up being illegally sold - so controlling drugs on prescription has problems too.

The idea that everyone will simply behave responsibly unfortunately has been proved time and time again and why is it always the needs of the user that are placed higher than the needs of the victims ( the abused wife, the drink/drive victim, the children, the employer, the family, the mugged, the protective father, the A@E nurse.......)

Well, basically, the majority of people who drink alcohol and take illegal drugs occasionally don't abuse their partners, drive while intoxicated, or fail to perform their jobs properly. Many of the health problems, especially the sudden deaths, associated with illegal drugs are to do with the user not knowing what he/she is getting in terms of what it has been adulterated with.
Also, Linden, your 'why are the victims less important than drug users' whine line sounds great until you ask the logical question: do you mean that people who drink/take drugs only seek out and abuse those who never do so? ANd plenty of those who abuse their families do so without the aid of drink or drugs: they do it because they get off on power and control.

Ok SG I am obviously biased, but I do believe legalising everything is too simple, we have no way of knowing if it will suceed in making things better or worse so I can't imagine there will ever come a time any government would risk such legislation.

Alcohol still manages to kill people/ruin lives inspite of education and support and is implicated in the majority of violent crimes ( as I was informed on a workshop on drug abuse). Of course people can do such crimes without the aid of drink/drugs but I wonder whether it increases the chances. I don't believe anyone under the influence has enough rational thought about what they are doing let alone targeting anyone. "It wasn't my fault I was drunk, off my face etc"

I would be genuinely interested in how many non users (excluding alcohol and tobacco) would be in favour of legalising and how many users/ ex users would be against legalising.

I think that the problems associated with alcohol and tobacco need to be tackled before we go anywhere near regulating other substances.

Just to add that alcohol can kill quickly and isn't always a long term problem, I had a cousin who died due to choking on his own vomit because he was drunk and fell asleep. No other drugs were found, it was purely too much alcohol, he was in his early 30's.

The link between cannabis and mental illness is dodgy - all the people I know who have had problems from drug-taking had mental problems beforehand and started using cannabis to self-medicate. But outsiders (their parents, for exmaple) simply see that their darling started on weed at 13 and had a mental breakdown at uni, and assume it's the drug to blame.

When I was a broke masters student, my housemates did a cost/benefits analysis and concluded that it was cheaper to get stoned on a Friday night than get drunk. The only people I know well who did cocaine stopped when it dawned on them it was a bit pointless buying fair trade products etc if they were also supporting one of the most unpleasant industries in the world.

IMO, the only use of cocaine is for telling me rapidly that someone is an arsehole.

whoah this thread is far too long and gaven't read all the posts so just thought i'd add ny two-cents.
i'd have alcohol alongside weed and wouldn't look down on anyone who had some when the kids are in bed.
i'd take ectasy/mdma every couple of months but it is definitely only to be done when you have a night completely free and not much responsibiity the next day if you don't deal well with the come down like myself. i've tried acid,mushies and coke as well but don't really enjoy them that much but it'd be pretty much the same as above, only for once in a while big nights out when you have nothing to do the next day.

I smoked weed and took E on a fairly regular basis whilst at university. Stopped when I had DS1 at 22. In the past nearly 18 years I have smoked weed maybe three times a year. I do drink regularly, but rarely enough to get drunk.

I think, before you have children, taking drugs in moderation is not usually the end of the world. I do know some people who came to rely on drugs to the point that they were out of their tree all weekend and crashing all week, and that is dangerous - not because it'll kill you, necessarily, but because it changes the person you are and the life you live.

With regard to ecstasy, the few deaths that result are either down to a) not drinking enough water and dehydrating or b) drinking too much and waterlogging your brain.

I've only read the OP and a few messages and thought I'd put my tuppence in too...

Weed - I used to smoke it, lots, but ended up divorcing my xh over it as he was completely dependent on it (I gave up when I fell pg with DD1 and haven't really smoked it since). To this day, he does it in front of the kids when they are over there. My current DH has various mental health issues and about a year into our marriage, he started smoking it - needless to say, his problems have escalated and he is now completely dependent on it and it causes MAJOR issues in our house and between us - I'm at the point of losing another marriage over it tbh I hate the fact that he smokes it and that he is sometimes stoned around the kids but I have to admit that its never in front of them and he generally waits until they are in bed (not that it makes it right imo).

Alcohol - I only ever drink for special occasions like birthdays or christmas or bbq's in the summer but if I do, I either make sure the kids are staying somewhere else or that there is at least one resposible sober adult in the house. If one of the dc's were to get ill or there was an emergency, I'd like to know that there was somebody able to cope with it if I couldn't. I also make sure there's somebody the following day to take care of things - hence why I rarely get to that stage, everythings down to me so I can't mope around I'm afraid! I never drive if I've had even a teeny tiny drink and don't the next day either - another reason for it being a rarity!

The other stuff - don't go near any of it and wouldn't go near it, wouldn't dream of it and I'm not sorry to say that.

Really believe drinking is the real issue. I know SO many people, who would consider themselves decent and respectable who will turn their noses up at drug use who drink an incredible amount but it seems acceptable.
How many mothers do I know who turn to the glass of wine at 6pm to get them through bathtime? What message does that give a child?
My mother is an alcoholic and only now in my mid thirties do I have a sensible relationship with alcohol, I spent years getting blotto as I didn't have the confidence to go out sober. I haven't got an off switch and realise now just how careful I need to be.
That said I was always afraid of drugs, dabbled a bit at uni but with the combination of alcohol was always a disaster.
But my curiostiy has got the better of me. Over the past three years, when our little one has been with inlaws we have tried most substances and quite honestly I still think alcohol has by far the worst effect and its available everywhere!
One of my reasons for wanting to try things is so that when DS has grown up and might start experimenting at least I can understand it better. And hope that he isn't actually interested!

How many on this thread drink at home? if you do, is it because you like the taste, or the effect you get from it?

Idrank - I don't doubt that your DP is addicted to weed, but I am only saying that addiction is very probably not physical. There is also a psychological side to these things, of course.

There is ample literature on how marijuana/weed is not physically addictive, and we can take a look at them if you ever come back to this thread.

This is a really interesting thread tbh! I have an issue with my DH having a joint most nights and it is something we argue about frequently! I however, have a glass of wine most nights so realise Im being hypocritical and the only time my children are in bed with us both completely straight is Mondays and Tuesdays ( one glass of wine though?).

My issue is the blurs of what's socially acceptable, a number of our friends, DH's side are weed smokers and would sneak off for one at a family bbq, most people have a few beers or drinks at family events! but i've never seen anyone drunk or out of it when responsible for their children! my children will never see me drunk as i didn't see my parents anything more than slightly tipsy! but amongst my friendship group I seem to be in the minority! I have a couple of non conformist type friends who smoke weed most of the day even with children around and drink heavily once or twice a week, they certainly seem more relaxed than me!

My main issue is my mental health, I don't want to interfers with my brain chemicals and weed makes me paranoid, Coke gives me a depressing comedown as does excessive drinking tbh! so i stick to a glass of wine or few beers 4 times a week! and haven't touched drugs since the children came along! been there done that, grew up?

Why do you have a glass of wine most nights?

A glass of wine is legal! It is a well regulated industry that employs a lot of people who all pay taxes. It isn't lining the pockets of criminals and causing misery to the poor people caught up in it.

There is an easy way to make sure trade in recreational substances don't "line the pockets of criminals" - make them legal & regulate them. Just like alcohol and cigarettes. Two very addictive and highly potent recreational substances themselves.

I don't know about "causing misery", though. I've only ever seen them "cause" a great deal of fun, lots of dancing, an unbelievable amount of chatting, and some fatigue.

I guess if one is stupid enough to dabble in the highly addictive stuff (heroin, freebase, etc) they could get miserable pretty fast, but that is like saying "Let's ban all food because fast food makes you fat".

While jakcing up smack while breastfeeding is maybe going too far, a bit of blaze* while the kids are asleep is wicked!

*weed

Parents on drugs are embarassing

I would call them sad more than embarrassing.

Are drunk parents OK?

Not if they are doing the dad dance

The what?

tbh I am quite at the laid-back attitude that people have to drugs, and the total disregard they have for the law on drugs.

It doesn't matter whether in someone's opinion drugs shouldn't be illegal, the fact is that they are, and buying them means that you are supporting someone else in committing a crime.

Do people think that it's ok to do a bit of shoplifting? Or a bit of burglery? These are considered petty crimes after all and yet most people don't consider them acceptable because they're illegal. yet the crimes that surround drug dealing are far worse, and often involve murder and violence, and yet people still think it's ok to support those and that it's all a bit harmless?

I personally have never done drugs and I never will. And I rarely drink because on the whole I don't like the taste, and I would never want to be in a position where I am not responsible for my actions.

Have people considered that less people die from the effects of drugs because less people take drugs compared with those who drink? Perhaps if drugs were legalized there would be a much greater problem in terms of health implications.