To not be able to find fashionable clothes for sensory problems

[FountainsSummer]

Do they exist?!
My lovely little girl. She's 11 and all she wants is to wear fashionable clothes like her friends. At the moment they're all in denim shorts and she's desperate for a pair too. So far I've bought her 5 different pairs but she cannot cope with the denim waistband when it pushes in to her tummy when she sits down. I've already sized up a year and have been buying them age 12 in anticipation of this, but even though they're a year bigger than her age to try and make surd the waistband is looser, they're still a problem. Today I've bought her a pair 2 years up, in age 13, and still the waistband is a problem when she sits down. She says the feeling of the denim pushing against her tummy when she sits makes her feel really ill and distressed.
Why does this happen?
What is it that's happening in the brain that makes a sensory response to clothing cause her to feel ill and distessed?
She starts crying and then feels really bad about herself because I've bought them all for her.
I've had a decade of problems with clothes on her that she won't wear because she gets an overwhelming sensory response against all sorts of skirts, dresses, trousers, tights, PJs, seems, materials....oh my God it drives me insane. I buy the softest cotton clothes but still so many go unworn.
She will only wear A line dresses with no waistband, no fitted design, no tiers or ruffles with seams. Won't wear skirts because of waistband. Won't wear Tshirts in her size because the material sits against her skin, despite being softest cotton, will only wear big oversized Tshirts. Won't wear leggings. Won't wear trousers. Won't wear jogging bottoms. Now there's an issue with shorts. Yet she says the soft comfy oversized cotton shorts she's previously worn are babyish now and she wants to be trendy!
It's a bloody nightmare.
She cries and says she just wants to wear fashionable clothes like everyone else, but then can't handle how they feel.
If a child experiences this, does it 100% mean they have ASD? Or can people have this problem even if they don't have ASD?
She's not diagnosed and doesn't display any other ASD type symptoms, but does this confirm it?
And where oh where can I find sensory comfort denim shorts from?!?!
I just want to help her feel nice about the clothes she wears. I want her to feel like she fits in with peers. Not constantly dressed in soft organic cotton clothes that are too young looking for her now.

Thank you for looking, but these stop at age 5.
Thanks though!🤗

I clicked to see the electric waist. Disappointed 😞

I've reported you.

Oh sweet mum , I totally understand as my ds was, and as a young adult still is, the same . Type in sensory clothes and there are a few websites that specialise in comfortable clothing, stretchy, seam free etc . She likely has sensory processing disorder - asked the gp to refer you for an assessment xx 😘

I think dungaree shorts look great and I thought these would be ok, but unfortunately they're not as DD doesn't like the feel of dungarees being all in one.
Doesn't like the feel of any 'all in one' type of style.
Thank you though.

Thank you!xx

New look do quite thin and soft denim shorts in the kids 915 range. The waistband is roomy. My 14 year old lives in them.
I bought loads from Vinted.

Hi OP. I’m late diagnosed autistic ADHD and DD is undiagnosed (but I’m sure she is!). There’s an overlap between autism and ADHD with sensory issues but also with sensory processing disorder.
She’s 12 now. Clothing has been as issue since she was tiny. I swear from when she could move (before she could talk!) I’d have a battle to put her in things she didn’t like, like tights 😆 she’d squirm so I couldn’t get them on! She’s still incredibly particular about clothes. I could only buy seamless socks for £6 a pair at one time! Had to get school to agree to reasonable adjustments so she wore polo shirts without the logo.
Honestly, the cheap and cheerful shops are sometimes the best (not for the planet I know. But needs must sometimes). Peacocks is one of her favourite shops. She loves a lot of their soft clothes and their old kids range goes up to 13+. She will not wear jeans but will wear a denim skirt now with leggings or cycling shorts underneath. She’s started wearing tights in the last year! I will have a look but often the waistband for anything denim sits quite high.
If you post about her needs again, you might find it better in the SEN parents section. AIBU can be pretty forthright and perhaps you need a gentler approach.

it is difficult, you just want your daughter to be comfy @FountainsSummer

I wondered about these, but sizing up and when she sits she could pull the drawstring to suit her comfort level?

then I thought maybe low rise, would be more suitable as they'd sit below her tummy?

I also saw this and thought it may be worth a read?

and just finally, I really don't think@roycroppersshopper said anything unreasonable. Your first few responses to MN'ers trying to help, did come across as rather "bristly".

The majority of us on here, do just want the very best for our children and when they are struggling somewhat, it is heartbreaking.

I wish both you and your daughter all compassion and hope she finds some lovely wee outfits that are comfy and less distressing for her. 🌻

Buy low rise denim shorts so they sit under her belly button

That sounds like an order!

I think you mean "Try low rise denim shorts...."

I found these OP, annoyingly they seem to be sold out in her size right now but might get them back in? Then you could chop the legs off if the top of them works for her?

https://sensorysmart.co.uk/products/air-slim-jean-look-not-irritating-for-highly-sensitive-children-by-sam-sensory-more?variant=44383176622372

Or these in a small size? Looks like they do down to size 4 womens?

https://thehalara.co.uk/products/Halara-Flex-High-Waisted-Crossover-Back-Side-Pocket-Stretchy-Knit-Denim-Casual-Shorts-3-24-554?variant=3823920&locale=uk&utm_source=Google&utmmedium=ukcpcshopping&utmcampaign=21993145336&utmcontent=&utmterm=3823920&gadsource=1&gadcampaignid=21989266241&gbraid=0AAAAAB7KRHKkyQEE8NAJK-Wm7UDQoS9g&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkP7Gs5vKjgMVG5pQBh0OlB6pEAQYCSABEgJ5aPDBwE

I would say if her sensory sensitivities are that severe it’s definitely worth having an assessment for neurodivergence, especially autism which can be tricky to diagnose in girls even for professionals.

No I mean buy - my daughter has autism / sensory issues going into a shop to ‘try’ on clothes is too overwhelming. Buy, try on at home and send back if not ok.

op my daughter has these - they are made from more jeggings material so very soft and not stiff like denim. They are also under the belly button

www.asos.com/hollister/hollister-low-rise-contrast-foldover-mini-denim-shorts-in-vintage-medium-blue-wash/prd/207895660?ctaRef=my+orders

Halara denim shorts ? They have a lycra panel rather than a waistband. Much softer and wider. Nothing that cuts in.

I have a ds who refused to wear school shirts. From reception year he said they were sweaty and made him feel sick. By 10am he would cry and take them off.

What he meant although he didn't know it at 5, was he's sensitive to polyester, and most white school shirts are poly cotton. I switched to pure cotton and he was fine.

He doesn't have any other ADHD traits. He's huge now, 6'1" but still doesn't wear anything with polyester in it.

Disclaimer that I’ve never used this website but these?

https://www.tuctuc.com/en-gb/shorts/143452-girls-shorts-in-blue-denim-with-elastic-waistband.html?srsltid=AfmBOormzBilEPfqpUFVRYbs-XgfqHPnmAns9xoh307HqUPKv2zkUQQL-A8

Out of stock but maybe vinted might have them

https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1225663001.html

Here you go, they’re on vinted but age 12
https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/6602398070-girls-hm-denimjeggings-shorts-age-12-13

age 11 here

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5583554862-blue-jeggin-shorts

For me high rise trousers feel less sensory than low rise ones but it is a case of each to their own.
Poundland and tkmaxx have a range of soft denim with softer waist, I bought a pair of soft jeans with a tie top which is very comfortable.

Maybe there may be some tie top options?
The only tie top skirt I've been able to find showing what I mean is this but it's not for children sorry!
Here

Btw I live in dresses because they are so much nicer, I get it! I have seen lined shorts. I would look at the smallest women’s sizes that might fit better

These are out of stock now unfortunately but you can put a notify when stock comes in and its not unusual for something to come in. My adult daughter is petite - wears a kids size 12 school skirt and she bought the size 2 - I think your daughter will be ok in the 0 or 2 if you want to put notify on these.
They look like normal denim shorts but the material is thinner and stretchy all over. Because of my daughter's sensory issues I bought every size so she could decide how 'loose' she wanted them but because they were thin and stretchy she got the size that fitted her without looseness.

Hollister low rise contrast foldover mini denim shorts in vintage medium blue wash | ASOS**

Thank you for your message and especially for the links you've given, I'm checking them out now! Thanks so much for taking the time to search for them!
@roycroppersshopper said "you need to wind your neck in". I think that's a really rude thing to say.

Maxomorra often have soft jersey denim style shorts. I had them last year for DD but they might only do small sizes but they were gorgeous. We have sensory issues here too so I get it

We’ve struggled with this with my DD (ASD) too.

It’s taken a long time and a lot of trial and error to find jeans she’s comfortable in.

Have a look for Chambray shorts maybe? It looks a lot like denim but is much softer texture, not as stiff as denim and quite light weight.

Thank you!
Yes I think you might be on to something with the cheap and cheerful shops suggestion, as their thinner materials might actually work better. I've been going for the more expensive shops, thinking they'll be better quality. Thanks for the tip!🙏