AIBU to not rearrange again?

[Mangobanana55]

Friend wanted to organise and wine and food night with me and another friend (group of 3!) we all have young children but managed to book in a date. Best place to host was my house due to space/location. My toddler goes to bed at 6.30 and isn't disturbed easily either.
DP took the opportunity to arrange to meet a friend that night.

On the day, friend messages around 12ish to ask if we can rearrange as she's not well. Fine. Sat in with takeaway for one.
The next day however she mentioned how her family had gone for a late lunch with other friends (on the day she cancelled)..... thought that was abit odd but anyway new date was locked in.

Day comes , DP arranged to go out again, nibbles and wine purchased, house cleaned ready for guests and around 12pm we get a message to say , she has double booked, her partner forgot to mention his friend is staying over and would now be rude to head out for the evening. Asks to rearrange.
She then messages to say they have tickets to an event now the afternoon and excited to head back for food, games and drinks with her DP friend for the evening and worried about hangover.

me and other friend arnt as close so doesn't really work for us two to carry on TBH and she didn't seem keen in the group messsage.

AIBU to not rearrange again???? is that petty?
Two nights now I have been ditched. DP gone out so I've been sat alone (with nibbles atleast). I turned down other plans for today that came up a while ago!

I can’t bloody stand these people who consider every plan as tentative until the day of.

I’d tell her she’s welcome to plan and host the next one, and you look forward to attending. And if you get a better offer in the meantime, ditch her with a clear conscience!

Of course YANBU - she sounds an absolute pain in the arse. I’d be giving that one a wide berth from now on.

Does feel like a better offer come up situation!

Definitely don't rearrange a third time. If she wanted to see you then she would have made the effort. She obviously isn't that keen.

@Spies you would think not keen but it was her idea and she arranged it!

Sorry I pressed the wrong one to vote!!
You definetely are not being unreasonable in not hosting again and saying to your friend they can do it. They are flaky and rude and not worth relying on.

It's easy to say stuff though and actually not mean it. Saying let's do this is essentially the grand total of effort she made. She didn't buy anything, clean the house, sort out childcare etc. the epitome of all talk no action.

@Spies totally right - didn't think of it that way!

I wouldn't bother again as it sounds like she would cancel again

Maybe just ask her outright…. “Do you want to just call it because twice now I’ve planned for our occasion but you’ve bailed last minute when you’ve got a better offer.”

This. It's rude and they are bumping you for a "better off". I wouldn't rearrange again

Yeah there was a reason why todays odp friend couldn't be rearranged because xyz but it's been twice!

Friend wanted to organise and wine and food night

That would piss me right off. She wants it but you are having to host and clean your house for it to happen!

If she suggests it again-say, 'Ok-we'll come to you, as you're organising it'

I'd still have friend 2 over and take the opportunity to get to know each other better. Send pics to friend 1 for added happy points of making her regret it. Ignore requests to reorganise and declare your diary is full for the foreseeable. Friend 1 is a flake and I'd dump her arse!

Ex colleague made arrangements with me to meet. Cried off three times. I won’t be making any more plans with her.

me and other friend arnt as close so doesn't really work for us two to carry on TBH and she didn't seem keen in the group messsage.

So did you cancel last minute on the other woman or had the flaky woman tell your other guest the evening was cancelled?

Infuriating. Basically she’s just had a better offer at the last minute. Twice. I would not ask her again.

Other friend put 'no problem let's rearrange again' so it was all off . Will just avoid when it comes to rearranging ...

I didn't even ask in the first place haha all her idea 😁

I lost contact with a good friend over issues like this. Would ring on Tuesday to say yes they were coming for the weekend then cancel on Friday. House cleaned and food already bought. Last time it happened I hadn't done the shopping as I knew how it would go!

I know someone like this. She constantly cancels, if the event actually happens then she is late and is also constantly asking to join me to do things and then never committing to an actual date (which she then would cancel if she did). I’m done now.

That is infuriating!!!!
I am definitely not flakey unless we have a solid reason so I guess it annoys me more as I do commit.

Sounds so disrespectful! What were the excuses?

I should have said, don't ever ARRANGE anything with this flaky woman!

Me too. I've been known to cancel for a good reason but I truly hate doing it to anyone, especially last minute.