DS worried about bully coming up to school in September

[ThisQuickPeachFinch]

DS has just finished Year 7 and he will obviously be going into Year 8 in 6 weeks. There’s this Year 6 girl who lives on our road and regularly plays in our local park. She has always been mean to DS and his friend whenever they’ve played there. She pushed him over a few weeks ago to get on the zip wire before him.

Anyway, last Friday on Year 6 transition day at school she told him she’s going to make his life hell when she starts there in September. Only tonight did he tell me that she and her friend were kicking him in the chins at lunchtime. I looked and his legs and they are covered in bruises still after a week. I’m annoyed at him as he didn’t tell me or a teacher about it but he said he didn’t want anyone to know and it’s too late now because it’s the holidays.

He’s told me he’s too scared to go back in September because he knows she and maybe her other friend will kick him again or/and ram into him as well as take photos of him like she has done at the park before. Her friend isn’t always like that but she is when she’s around this girl.

I don’t really know what to do now because the academic year is over. Would I report it to the school in September? Would they not be interested due to lack of evidence and it was in a previous year? I don’t know??

I wouldn’t tell the school. I was really bullied and my mum told the school and it made it 10 times worse and I ended up being really violently assaulted because the bully got in trouble.

what I would do is sign your DS up for some self defence classes or jujitsu or something similar over the summer and work on building his confidence and teach him how to stand up for him self.

sorry to hear he’s worried OP it’s not nice!

Is this a very small school? In my experience the number of times a year 7 and a year 8 would cross paths is very limited but I only really have experience of large schools so maybe this is different. I would definitely give the school a heads up though especially as she has threatened him and hurt him just the other day so it's not all from the past. Always best to give the school as much information as possible, they can't do anything about things they don't know about.

I disagree with pp I would 100% letting the school know. If that didn’t work I’d be speaking to her parents. Bullies need to be shown they can’t get away with it.
Do you know the girls parents?

…still email into school, staff will pick it up before the start of next term.

Do you know the parents? I’d be making a visit to them over the holidays and nipping this in the bud!

@BulldogMumma I don’t. I don’t know exactly where she lives either I just know it’s on or near our road.

@Littletreefrog A fairly small one for a secondary yes.

Of course you tell the school, this needs nipping in the bud straight away

What's their size difference?

Do you know where her mother is?

Take photos of the bruises and report her to the police. She’s presumably 11 which is over the age of criminal responsibility. I would also message her mother, tell her what is going on and tell her you will involve the police.

It is not ok for your son to be threatened and used as a punch bag by this nasty little yob.

Yes yes yes tell the school! Very helpful for them to know especially if she’s threatened him. There should be a safeguarding email you can use even over the summer.

I work in a secondary school. You should 100% let his guidance teacher know, so that they can keep an eye on him and monitor the situation. Schools are now adept at handling these situations sensitively without landing anyone in it.
They need to know that this is a historic issue rather than waiting to tell them the next time it happens.
Best of luck to your boy 🙂

I’d be making it my mission to find out her address (shouldn’t be too hard to do, surely, you vaguely know which road she lives on) and then popping round to chat to her parents to make it quite clear that their daughter has hurt your son and threatened him and she is to keep away from your son or you will involve the police.

Same! And threatening with the police if there’s a reoccurrence.

I agree tell the police! And the school and the girls parents. So sorry you’re having this experience! I do also agree to try build your sons confidence too and help him try and understand a bit about the psychology of bullying so he can try play a few mins games back with her (such as ignoring her or laughing when she tries to be threatening, seeing what works!)

💯 flag to the school now with photos of his bruises so she cant start dome bullshit he bullies me nonsense.
She's a year younger and a girl so there will be unconscious bias.

I'd also be working out where she lives - visiting the parents and showing them the bruises

Depending on detailing / history id also consider logging it woth the police - it nothing else it should scare the shit out of her and her parents

Best defense is a good offense

I’m a bit apprehensive to call the police as he’s not normally one to cause trouble. He wouldn’t want to cause a scene. And I’ve never been involved in a police incident before.

Tell the school, and now.

You need to make it clear to her parents that you will fuck up her and their lives before you bury your son.

Let's not pretend that children haven't killed themselves over this. The school will be shit, but you have to follow protocol for show.

But square your shoulders and go to their door.

@JMSA would they let her parents or her know that I report the incident?

Put your big girl pants on, find out where she lives and go round to her house ASAP. If someone repeatedly kicked my child, I wouldn’t be waiting 6 weeks to politely notify the school. She’s picking on your son because he’s not been taught to fight back, you need to put that right and show you aren’t a family that’s going to be intimidated.

The police probably would and honestly... thsts what you want.

You need to make it clear to her parents that you will fuck up her and their lives before you bury your son.

I am very much in this camp. Mess with my kids and I will come for you and yours.

Dont let this escalate (& it can) because you dont want a scene.
Make a scene... make a HUGE scene and scare them back.

As @Lafufufu says. Get in first. She’ll be a little new year 7 girl, so they will assume your son is the aggressor. You need to let them know now how she is already making his life a misery.

What you mean to say is you’re too much of a coward to advocate for your child? Sorry OP but you need a hard time here, your poor son has been suffering from your complete inaction on this matter for long enough. He’s scared and he needs you to put it right.

Im saying this as a secondary school teacher. Please let the head of year and form tutor know this. They probably won’t do anything now about what has already happened (simply due to the holidays and wanting to give this girl a fresh start in her new school) but share the photos with them as evidence which can be built up into a picture over time. If they are doing a decent job they will share this with all staff and request that interactions between your son and this girl are closely monitored by staff in corridors, and on duty at break and lunch. Does your son’s school have different areas at breaks for different year groups, if yes then make sure that your son knows to stay in the year 8 area. If not, then advise him to remain in an open area that is near to staff on duty rather than hiding from her where staff might not see an interaction. Is there a teacher in the school that he trusts? Advise him to speak to this teacher as soon as anything happens. My school have a system of writing statements and handing them to non teaching staff to be dealt with. The head of year will pick it up if it is ongoing or a serious incident. But please report this immediately and keep a record of anything that happens over the holidays as further evidence.

You need to speak to the mother asap