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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS worried about bully coming up to school in September

55 replies

ThisQuickPeachFinch · 18/07/2025 19:19

DS has just finished Year 7 and he will obviously be going into Year 8 in 6 weeks. There’s this Year 6 girl who lives on our road and regularly plays in our local park. She has always been mean to DS and his friend whenever they’ve played there. She pushed him over a few weeks ago to get on the zip wire before him.

Anyway, last Friday on Year 6 transition day at school she told him she’s going to make his life hell when she starts there in September. Only tonight did he tell me that she and her friend were kicking him in the chins at lunchtime. I looked and his legs and they are covered in bruises still after a week. I’m annoyed at him as he didn’t tell me or a teacher about it but he said he didn’t want anyone to know and it’s too late now because it’s the holidays.

He’s told me he’s too scared to go back in September because he knows she and maybe her other friend will kick him again or/and ram into him as well as take photos of him like she has done at the park before. Her friend isn’t always like that but she is when she’s around this girl.

I don’t really know what to do now because the academic year is over. Would I report it to the school in September? Would they not be interested due to lack of evidence and it was in a previous year? I don’t know??

OP posts:
Blueuggboots · 19/07/2025 10:17

Absolutely report to to the school NOW.

ChangeAwks · 19/07/2025 10:18

ThisQuickPeachFinch · 18/07/2025 19:40

I’m a bit apprehensive to call the police as he’s not normally one to cause trouble. He wouldn’t want to cause a scene. And I’ve never been involved in a police incident before.

It doesn’t matter what he wants. You’re his parent, and you need to protect your son. Speak to the school, speak to her parents and if nothing changes. Report it to the police.

I also agree with signing your son up for self defence classes or BJJ so he can stand up for himself.

Firefly100 · 19/07/2025 10:35

OP you must realise that your son is learning from you. Your unwillingness to take on the girl’s parents and report to the school is behaviour he is picking up by equally just taking it and not standing up for himself. If he sees you doing so, he will be more likely to do it himself.
i concur go round to the parents, with photos, advocate fiercely for your son and make it crystal clear next time you are going straight to the police.
Also, tell the school asap again with photos. If you don’t, she will continue until sooner or later he fights back and then 100% she will play
the victim and HE will be in trouble.
Teach your son to stand up for himself by demonstrating these behaviours yourself.

looselegs · 19/07/2025 10:52

IShouldNotCoco · 19/07/2025 05:57

You need to stop being apprehensive and fight for your son. When my daughter was in year 7, some year 11 girls pushed her over on the way home from school and she arrived home bleeding. I had no hesitation whatsoever in involving the police.

You shouldn’t be worrying about what it looks like for you to be ‘involved’ with a police report.

Please believe me when I say that bullying experiences can scar a child for life. Don’t be one of those parents who won’t advocate for their child.

Absolutely this!!
As the Mum of a daughter who was bullied, I live with the fallout of it. It changed her. It made her 'hard'. She self harmed.....
Do everything you possibly can to stand up for your child- whether they want you to or not; sometimes you have to go over their heads to protect them-so they don't carry this through their lives with them ❤️

IShouldNotCoco · 19/07/2025 10:52

Crazyladee · 19/07/2025 09:26

Just to put this into perspective...I lost my son to mental health issues which started due to being bullied at high school. My son played it down at the time, and didn't let us know how bad it was. It all came out years later at the inquest. I don't want to cause any scaremongering but you are lucky that your son has opened up fully to you. Please inform the school and take this extremely seriously.

I’m so sorry - I can’t imagine how hard this must have been for you and your family.

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