Beard

[Mummyof3T]

My husband of 12 years has grown a beard over the last 6 months and I hate it! It doesn’t suit him, it’s prickly, makes him look older than he is and it’s just gross. It puts me off wanting to do anything sexual. The issue is, he loves it! Says it suits him and refuses to get rid! Please help with any suggestions, I have tried everything!!

I find beards loathesome. Fortunately my bloke’s didn’t last long because I refused to kiss him until it was gone.

Beards nauseate me. If my OH grew one I couldn’t do anything about it but I also couldn’t go near him

Yes. Anyone can refuse to have sex at any time, for any reason. Men as well as women

So you’d be okay if he said he absolutely hated your new hairdo and wasn’t attracted to you anymore and didn’t want to have sex with you?

I think you need some perspective.

A new hairdo isn't going to afffect kissing and oral sex though?

It could if you go from a pixie cut to 5ft extensions that flip and flap around at every move 😂

I hate beards

I feel your pain

On the other hand lets not encourage controlling and emotionally abusive behaviour.

You can refuse sex for ANY reason.
he can do what he wants with his body for any reason.
yiu can leave each other for any reason

I wasn't impressed with DH growing a beard but it has grown on me (almost got my own one). I don't mind any more. It's his body. Attraction runs deeper than physical appearance.

Some years ago I changed my hair colour to a deep auburn. I liked it and so did my hairdresser, but no one else did, including DH, who doesn’t usually have strong opinions on hair, clothes and make up.

He grew a beard which really didn’t suit him at all. We had a stand off and eventually he shaved off the beard and I went back to my usual hair colour. I don’t think he liked the beard at all. I liked my hair though. Compromise!

Ffs. Emotionally abusive indeed. 🙄

This. Beards are grim, and I fucking hate them. Thank GOD they weren't a thing when I met DH (and weren't a thing for some 25 years after!) DH did try growing one about 7 years ago, and it was horrible. I couldn't kiss him as I found it repulsive. Food got caught in it and it was grim and minging. 😖

When a man hasn't had a beard - ever, and didn't have one when you met him, you have every right to loathe it, and disapprove. Similarly, DH met me when I had long-ish hair (4-5" below shoulder length,) and he said he would leave me if I had it cut short - he was joking (sort of!) He said he would struggle to find me attractive with short hair. That's his perogative, like it's mine to loathe beards, and find them repugnant.

tl;dr, I wouldn't kiss him or shag him, or do anything intimate with him. His beard lasted 3 months.

Sod this 'his body his choice' bollocks. If a woman has to kiss, and be intimate with a man, she has every right to say NO to a beard.

Shocked at the poll result, because beards are bleurgh! 😖

YANBU @Mummyof3T

the OP is asking for ways to make him shave off his beard, so emotionally abusive.

ffs yourself.

Erm… do you not love him for him? I get that some things are more attractive that others depending on personal taste, but if a beard can put you off him it makes me question how attracted you were to him in the first place. It seems a bit superficial for marriage.

I recall more than one thread on mumsnet where a bloke has been castigated and labelled as both abusive and a probable paedophile for preferring his wife to shave her pubic hair. "Why does he want her to look pre-pubescent?" etc.

Weird how it suddenly changes when it comes to beards, isn't it? Seems there are a lot of women who prefer the pre-pubescent look for men.

This trivialisation of abuse really shocks me. It’s incredibly disrespectful to victims of real abuse.

Your trivialisation of someone asking for ways to abuse someone shocks me.
It minimises abuse in all of its forms.

Men don't look pre pubescent with no beard. 😂 What a spectacularly ridiculous thing to say. LOLLLLLLLLL!

You're reaching so far hun that your head is knocking the moon out of the sky.

p.s WOMEN don't look pre pubescent with no minge either. It says a lot about someone who thinks like this.

"LOLLLLLLLLL"? "Hun"? Do you think you're on Netmums?

You can love someone and not be sexually attracted to them.
Marriage is about more than sex.

I'm with you OP. Can't stand facial hair. I find it very unattractive and had a boss years ago who used to pick bits of lunch out of his beard and eat them. He made me gag.

Also have sensitive skin and couldn't have beard hair rubbing anywhere.

I didn't say that?
I'm saying you can't tell someone what to do with their body hair. Whether you find it attractive or not you can tell someone to shave. I prefer having smooth legs - my husband would never tell me to shave them. He has a beard and I would never tell him to shave it.
If my husband said I'm not having sex with you because you haven't shaved your legs that would be mental. That's him forcing me to change myself to have sex.

Thanks everyone, sorry I didn’t mean to come a cross as “emotionally abusive” and “controlling” I just don’t find a beard attractive even on the likes of Kit Harrington and David Tennant and I don’t like it on my husband. As someone mentioned below, food gets caught and fluff and its all over the place.

But sexual attraction is not about looks so much in a long term relationship. Or in any relationship to me. Maybe it’s just me. I’ve never been able to pin down exactly what makes me fancy someone. I don’t have a “type”. It’s just a certain something that I can’t quite explain, and it’s definitely much more a personality thing than a looks thing. I guess we’re all different!