To think that life seems better in rep of ireland?

[PunnyOliveTurtle]

ok...hear me out...My DM is Irish and she has not been home in a good few years, I haven't been over since I was 15, I'm early 40's now. So i decided to bring her over to visit her sisters as they are all getting older...late 60s/early 70's.

I had a wonderful time. I caught up with all of my cousins...and here is where I noticed the divide...they all have gorgeous homes and I mean stunning! Some in the country, some in the town, all fab new builds or gutted and updated old houses. A couple in new housing estates which were FAB!!
One of my cousins has just bought a new home...her DH is driving a 2025 car, they are off on hols next week. I asked her if she won the lotto and she laughed saying she wished, savings are now depleted and she was "broke". I know she has no credit cards because she metioned that she didn't have one when we wer talking about booking dinner somewhere and they wanted to take a deposit.

They all have great jobs...a lot of them are teachers...like i was. But they are no where near as stressed as I was. They are on holidays already and have been with a few weeks.Some are nurses but work part time in private hospitals, others work in big pharma companies, banking etc.Their dh's also have great jobs, engineers, managers in tech/pharma, one owns a construction company, one is a farmer.
All and I mean ALL of their DC who are of uni age are in university...no student loans. They have a grant scheme apparently. None of my cousins themselves have student loans...they are in 30's to mid 50's. (Can you tell we had an in depth discussion on uni and fees etc!)
Their DC aged 15+ all have summer jobs...in a local chippy, local cafe, one on a farm etc. My 18 yr old cant get a job at all!!

Everything just seemed so positive there...and im sure its not but I cant put my finger on it...it really got me.
I'm struggling most months...this trip was part on credit card. DD looking to start uni and i dont know how I'm going to help her... I know they say dont compare and I know there must be those struggling in Ireland too but there seemed to be A LOT more money being thrown around.

Have you not been to Dublin?

There is huge poverty levels there in the centre, and a huge amount of homeless people.

I think ireland does have a nicer "community feel". People are a bit more connected. The UK can feel very anonymous.

I should have said I exclude Dublin city Center from anything positive I said about Ireland, I can’t stand the place it has a really bad vibe and is full of junkies. I feel very unsafe in Dublin and never go there unless I absolutely have to. I would never ever live there ever. All the rest of the country is lovely though.

How is that all free if you don’t have a medical card, we’ve had to pay for mole removal (no medical card or medical insurance) through the public system ? How did you get varicose veins removal for free? We’ve paid over 100 for a hospital stay a night .

@LipstickLessons genuinely very curious about how you didn’t have to pay for these procedures… through the public system (no medical cards) we’ve paid every time for procedures (with referrals from gps) , I’ve never heard about people getting the procedure you mention for free (without a medical cad) so very curious ..

You can get a same day private GP appointment in London for £99.

Horses for courses, I'm happy here

Defensive, much?

Teaching is absolutely not "way better" in Ireland.

Ireland is becoming incredibly racist. There's no point screeching, "but it was bad in the UK half a century ago!" That doesn't excuse anything.

There are a far greater number of cultural things to do in any city in the UK compared to Dublin or Cork/Galway. The UK just far outstrips Ireland for museums, food and music scenes, art, things to do, outdoor amenities. Ireland is a tiny country, there's no point pretending it compares to the UK. (I am Irish, living in the UK, and I would never go back to Ireland - it is small and parochial).

@WallTree I live Ireland & one of my parents moved back. But growing up in London, it's too small for me.

love!

According to this article (July 2024), public hospital waiting lists in Ireland have been higher per capita than England and Wales;

Record 911,500 people on some form of public hospital waiting list; the highest it has ever been; surpassing previous record of 910,000 set in August 2022;

https://www.ihca.ie/news-and-publications/hospital-waiting-lists-now-at-highest-level-ever-%E2%80%93-ihca

But it pulls everyone up. Ireland, from being an economic basket case, has been a net contributor for over 10 years. So are Sweden, Austria and Finland, who also started as beneficiaries. Five others are approaching parity and will soon become contributors. They can all still see the benefit of the EU.

Interesting point re the population increase. We were in Cork recently and did a walking tour of the city centre during which the guide said the city was aiming to double it's population within next 15-20 years (can't recall exact timeline) including encouraging overseas students and workers to stay, and he presented that as being very positive for the city.

Yet the same day there was a big march through the centre protesting about current housing problems, which struck me as a future perfect storm if not addressed as a priority to match the population aspirations.

Teachers and civil servants in general have very good remuneration here. And school hols are indeed very long . Like 9 weeks long. Bit of a nightmare for many parents tbh. Pensions are pretty good too.

But....rents and house prices are insane. Not to mention prices in general. Then there are jobs about .....but we've been to this rodeo before. And everyone fell off.

My kids are educated to Masters level and find work in fits and starts. There again they work in film and media. I tried nagging them about teaching.....nah. PS ... guessing you are Cork or Kerry...

I’d rather have small and interesting than the bland samey towns & cities in the UK full of Starbucks, Costa’s, Tesco’s etc.

We don’t have any crappy chain coffee shops down here in West Cork or even a Tesco although they did try to build one but were refused planning permission.

If you can’t find cultural things to do here, you’re walking around with blinkers on. Lots of big names play here and numerous musicians happily play in small intimate venues here. Cork Academy of Music is world renowned.

My SIL shops in Waitrose in the south of uk but much prefers my local Supervalu store for its range of products.

I have to agree that Dublin is a shitehole though. 😂

I absolutely never expected anyone to be honoured by my presence, but common decency would have been nice. I was 10 when I moved there.

I was bullied terribly at primary school and ended up not speaking outside my house for a few years, I was regularly spat on by kids at secondary school, I had teachers who wouldn't mark my schoolwork because I was English, I had to be sure to get on the school bus quickly because if I was last in the queue the driver would close the doors and I'd be left to walk miles and miles to get home, I moved to Dublin for college and it was generally better except once when I was physically assaulted in the street because someone heard my accent. My time in Ireland truly was the worst time of my life as I'm sure you can imagine.

That's not to say all of Ireland is that way. I have friends and family who moved to cities and have built wonderful lives.

All 4 of my grandparents are Irish, parents both born in Ireland but raised in the UK. We moved to my grandparents hometown where I have lots and lots of relatives and yet my experience was as it was. I used to be proud to say I had Irish blood, I don't say that anymore.

@LipstickLessons I'm amazed at the speed you have received any treatment, let alone the fact it was free. I had a scan recently through vhi. 7 week wait and €220 out of pocket. I've been back and forth to neurology since I was working. At the time I paid approx €200 per visit but got half it back. Now I'm paying in full each time I go (once a month at the moment). If I could get seen reasonably quickly through the public system I could save myself in excess of €1k a year.

I imagine housing is an issue every where. Like London and places like Bristol. It's also bad in Yorkshire now as everyone is moving further afield for cheaper housing or the students stay as they can't afford to go back "home".

@Pickone sorry to hear about your experience in an Irish school. Would you mind giving a little more information about the type of school it was. I can't say I have ever been aware of any bullying of English children either when I was at school, or with my children. We weren't exactly in the most multicultural parts of the country but 2 of my best friends in primary were English and Dutch. In fact, you were more likely to be picked on if you were a Dub.

When I said cultural things, I didn't mean Tescos or Starbucks...

Museums, days out, aquariums, zoos, cultural events, historical buildings and sites - Ireland is rubbish for these things. There is very, very little to do in Ireland (we visit for holidays 2-3 times a year). Go to any city in the UK, and you'll be spoiled for choice. Ireland is very small, it just can't compete.

What about childcare costs? I've heard it's cheaper in Ireland than England by far. Council tax is quite a lot and varies massively in England too. I would personally worry about paying for health care especially in older age.

I remember summers in Ireland with cousins and grandparents where we were “the English children” and considered single handedly responsible for all British activity in Ireland from Cromwell onwards! The bullying was relentless - but we learned resilience! Slightly ironic as in England we were the Irish kids and therefore plotting bombing campaigns on the mainland….

Yeah, and Cork has an abundance of traffic pinch points (i.e. bridges) and only buses for public transport. Even aside from the housing situation, a lot of investment would be needed to move the increased population around the city and there is a proposal - just a proposal - for one single tram line.

I really do hope you're not trying to diminish my lived experience. I'm glad to hear you know of 2 people who weren't bullied, in your opinion, although that doesn't change the fact that my siblings and I were.

I don't really understand what you mean by the "type of school", or how that would make a difference but I went to a national school in a village followed by a fairly large mixed secondary school in the nearest town. Then onto college.