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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that life seems better in rep of ireland?

725 replies

PunnyOliveTurtle · 18/07/2025 13:59

ok...hear me out...My DM is Irish and she has not been home in a good few years, I haven't been over since I was 15, I'm early 40's now. So i decided to bring her over to visit her sisters as they are all getting older...late 60s/early 70's.

I had a wonderful time. I caught up with all of my cousins...and here is where I noticed the divide...they all have gorgeous homes and I mean stunning! Some in the country, some in the town, all fab new builds or gutted and updated old houses. A couple in new housing estates which were FAB!!
One of my cousins has just bought a new home...her DH is driving a 2025 car, they are off on hols next week. I asked her if she won the lotto and she laughed saying she wished, savings are now depleted and she was "broke". I know she has no credit cards because she metioned that she didn't have one when we wer talking about booking dinner somewhere and they wanted to take a deposit.

They all have great jobs...a lot of them are teachers...like i was. But they are no where near as stressed as I was. They are on holidays already and have been with a few weeks.Some are nurses but work part time in private hospitals, others work in big pharma companies, banking etc.Their dh's also have great jobs, engineers, managers in tech/pharma, one owns a construction company, one is a farmer.
All and I mean ALL of their DC who are of uni age are in university...no student loans. They have a grant scheme apparently. None of my cousins themselves have student loans...they are in 30's to mid 50's. (Can you tell we had an in depth discussion on uni and fees etc!)
Their DC aged 15+ all have summer jobs...in a local chippy, local cafe, one on a farm etc. My 18 yr old cant get a job at all!!

Everything just seemed so positive there...and im sure its not but I cant put my finger on it...it really got me.
I'm struggling most months...this trip was part on credit card. DD looking to start uni and i dont know how I'm going to help her... I know they say dont compare and I know there must be those struggling in Ireland too but there seemed to be A LOT more money being thrown around.

OP posts:
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Mitara · 19/07/2025 14:17

Loveduppenguin · 19/07/2025 13:49

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Yes no one said that there aren't food festivals in Ireland.

We said that there are bigger ones in the UK.

Loveduppenguin · 19/07/2025 14:26

Mitara · 19/07/2025 14:17

Yes no one said that there aren't food festivals in Ireland.

We said that there are bigger ones in the UK.

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Bigger ≠ better…just saying though

BloomingGardens · 19/07/2025 14:38

Hollyhobbi · 18/07/2025 15:22

But you must be looking in Dun Laoghaire Rathdown then, the most expensive council area in Ireland!

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I'm in DLR and our three bed semi with a not bad garden, in a nice area, nice settled estate, with good transport links and schools, would be 550k max I reckon. North of a million is huge!

BloomingGardens · 19/07/2025 14:44

Newbutoldfather · 18/07/2025 16:11

Ireland has rather cleverly (or cynically) taken advantage of the fact that the EU has freedom of movement of goods and people, a single currency, but no tax harmonisation.

So it has made tons of money off large U.S corporations putting their European bases there due to minimal corporation tax.

Why the rest of the EU has allowed this is an interesting question, but it has made it a rich country.

Well we had to build an entire new state out of something as in the last hundred years it's become rather frowned upon to make your money by colonising other countries and taking all their resources for your own. I do find it rich when European countries who built their own wealth on colonisation, look down on the newer states who have done it out of being clever with attracting new investment.

Evaka · 19/07/2025 14:49

BloomingGardens · 19/07/2025 14:44

Well we had to build an entire new state out of something as in the last hundred years it's become rather frowned upon to make your money by colonising other countries and taking all their resources for your own. I do find it rich when European countries who built their own wealth on colonisation, look down on the newer states who have done it out of being clever with attracting new investment.

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Thank you. Have been thinking same following this thread.

BridgetofKildare · 19/07/2025 14:50

Lots of buildings in Ireland which are the legacy of colonialism.

sammylady37 · 19/07/2025 15:19

bellzel · 19/07/2025 14:14

I've often wondered why those countries including other EU who moan about Ireland's clever use of low Corporation Tax don't do that themselves! Might affect Ireland though if they did 😊

I am living in Dublin, so full disclosure. I have lots to say but I'm heading out on a cultural mission in this godforsaken city full of heroin, litter, immigrants, and shite.

I'll be back soon to tell you if I made it safely, and how I enjoyed myself.

You mean you’ve actually found something to do in Dublin?? You lie or jest, surely?? It can’t be true!

AllPlayedOut · 19/07/2025 15:26

EmeraldShamrock000 · 19/07/2025 14:10

So have I and have always had a good experience, I'm not denying that there is frustration that causes stubbornness, and sometimes aggressive behaviours, but overall these things are resolved quickly.

Down syndrome ireland is a very active program full of family support.

My uncle lived till 47.

My cousin is 32, he has a pt job.
I have always thought I could have a baby with downs, wouldn't have been a problem.

The sponsored employment scheme is brilliant. Dh was surprised to see this when he moved here from NI, McDonald's, Tesco, Boots, etc all employ ppl with DS.

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I’d like to introduce you to some of the people with DS whom I’ve looked after, some with severe challenging behaviour and various comorbidities. who hadn’t a hope in hell of working even a few hours and any real form of independence and were immensely frustrated by their situation. There was little that was easily resolved with some. Though even the relatively “high functioning people with DS I supported weren’t joyful all or perhaps even most the time(And who is?) The stereotype is far from true imo and as another poster said the cliche is rather dehumanising, even if well intended.

Cafog · 19/07/2025 15:31

bellzel · 19/07/2025 14:14

I've often wondered why those countries including other EU who moan about Ireland's clever use of low Corporation Tax don't do that themselves! Might affect Ireland though if they did 😊

I am living in Dublin, so full disclosure. I have lots to say but I'm heading out on a cultural mission in this godforsaken city full of heroin, litter, immigrants, and shite.

I'll be back soon to tell you if I made it safely, and how I enjoyed myself.

It's not just the tax though. As someone else has pointed out Ireland is now the only English speaking country within the EU which attracts investment.

BridgetofKildare · 19/07/2025 15:45

Cafog · 19/07/2025 15:31

It's not just the tax though. As someone else has pointed out Ireland is now the only English speaking country within the EU which attracts investment.

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Cyprus, Malta

WallTree · 19/07/2025 15:54

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 19/07/2025 10:58

I travel a fair bit and still see 'a nice walk' as something to do and often gives a good insight to new places, especially where you meet or interact with locals in everyday settings, be that walking through urban streets, city centres, coastal paths or countryside.

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Yes, I guess I'm more biased towards cities. I love wandering through old cities with amazing architecture and high rise living - I feel you really get a feel for the culture of the place. Ireland is so spread out and has almost no old architecture, so it doesn't have that draw for me. Countryside/coastal walks are not for me, really, and you can do those anywhere. Ireland's landscape isn't particularly nicer than anywhere else's.

AllPlayedOut · 19/07/2025 15:54

This thread is making me want to visit Ireland now.

WallTree · 19/07/2025 15:56

sammylady37 · 19/07/2025 11:08

Has anyone said that ‘a nice walk’ is the only thing to do in Ireland? It too has ‘cultural events, museums, days out, beautiful architecture’ etc. I’m not sure why you’re so intent on dismissing it.

You remind me of a now-deceased aunt of mine, who emigrated out of necessity in the 1950s. She hated seeing Ireland thrive, she wanted it to remain what it was when she left, she was so bitter that the newer generations could have the great life there that she couldn’t have.

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Oh come on, Ireland is not known for its beautiful architecture. There is almost no historical architecture, we just didn't have the building techniques or population density to have achieved this at the time. Lots of vernacular bungalows.

WallTree · 19/07/2025 16:00

Yes...you are talking about travelling to different countries to go to events. That's clearly, clearly not what we are talking about. We are talking about things to do in the cities we live in. I'm not sure why you're talking about someone from Scotland going to an event in England. Bonkers.

WallTree · 19/07/2025 16:00

TheKeatingFive · 19/07/2025 11:09

There's loads of that in Ireland, you just haven't made an effort to look for it.

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It must be wearing camouflage!

WallTree · 19/07/2025 16:07

sopsmu · 19/07/2025 11:34

I’m English with Irish parents. I think the Irish have one of the strongest work ethics in the world and that shows. The English have largely allowed themselves to become dependant on the state. My cousins all have the type of houses you describe but when we were children I remember they were actually quite poor. Ireland has done amazingly out of the EU.

Irish people like to think this about themselves (strongest work ethic in the world). Absolutely deluded! Have you met people from many other countries?

WallTree · 19/07/2025 16:10

CreationNat1on · 19/07/2025 11:56

I agree about the work ethic. I ve worked for several multinationals and it is often the Irish team that excel in bringing deals or projects to a close. Other nationalities do their part and then don't take on responsibility to knit the various departments or requirements together. Irish people might argue away in their office (or have cliques or gossip about each other), but as soon as something has to be done, they come together as a team to complete the task.

They keep trying, even if there is annoyance or strife, they keep regrouping to finalise tasks.

I think it's a combination of most people, 80% or so, being about 2 generations away from rural poverty, so having that survival work ethic drilled into them, and the enmeshment of Irish society, we might get annoyed but we are all part of the same club (GAA club culture or catholic parish). However I really think there has been a massive shift in the last 20 years, the younger generation are far more passive.

I think first or second generation migrants who had to start from scratch, will be more ambitious and prepared to really apply themselves to succeed in life.

This is a really embarrassing perspective. I'm mortified for you.

WallTree · 19/07/2025 16:17

Loveduppenguin · 19/07/2025 13:49

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But...this is for the entire country. I'm talking about these things being available to me within walking distance, in my city. It is not "same".

SomersetBrie · 19/07/2025 16:35

WallTree · 19/07/2025 16:07

Irish people like to think this about themselves (strongest work ethic in the world). Absolutely deluded! Have you met people from many other countries?

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I think (but maybe I am wrong?) that you said that you were Irish?

You presumably don't think they have the strongest work ethic. Which means, like anything else, that even Irish people have different opinions on things.

1offnamechange · 19/07/2025 17:25

Mitara · 18/07/2025 15:36

I know lots of people who have never left their city in ireland.

I have also met a lot of people here in the Ul who have never lived outside of the Uk.

Then i know more adventurous types, who have lived in different countries.

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point missed....

can't believe I have to spell this out, but nobody lives forever, full stop. living forever = immortal. Which, regardless of how nice Ireland might be, or how accessible their GP appts, is impossible.

sammylady37 · 19/07/2025 17:28

WallTree · 19/07/2025 16:17

But...this is for the entire country. I'm talking about these things being available to me within walking distance, in my city. It is not "same".

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That’s some spectacular changing of goalposts from your earlier claim that “there is very, very little to do in Ireland” to talking about only those things which are within walking distance of you.

If your concept of ‘things to do’ is limited to what is within walking distance of your home, then I genuinely feel sorry for you. That’s a very limited view of the world, and displays a lack of imagination and motivation.

Since the 1st of July (so less than three weeks) I have:
attended two concerts
attended one comedy show
attended one major sporting event
had dinner in a michelin-starred restaurant
attended two cookery classes delivered by a Michelin-level chef
done the local cliff walk, including a picnic and swim
visited Japanese gardens
done a food tour of a nearby city
gone to a museum
done a tour of a distillery

and that’s not an exhaustive list. None of the above were within walking distance of my home, but neither did any require more than 4 hours travelling (round trip) and half were within one hour of home.

That’s not exactly ‘nothing to do’.

But, given your history on this thread, i suspect you’ll try further ridiculous tactics to try prove your point. It’s a pity you can’t or won’t debate honestly.

WallTree · 19/07/2025 17:34

sammylady37 · 19/07/2025 17:28

That’s some spectacular changing of goalposts from your earlier claim that “there is very, very little to do in Ireland” to talking about only those things which are within walking distance of you.

If your concept of ‘things to do’ is limited to what is within walking distance of your home, then I genuinely feel sorry for you. That’s a very limited view of the world, and displays a lack of imagination and motivation.

Since the 1st of July (so less than three weeks) I have:
attended two concerts
attended one comedy show
attended one major sporting event
had dinner in a michelin-starred restaurant
attended two cookery classes delivered by a Michelin-level chef
done the local cliff walk, including a picnic and swim
visited Japanese gardens
done a food tour of a nearby city
gone to a museum
done a tour of a distillery

and that’s not an exhaustive list. None of the above were within walking distance of my home, but neither did any require more than 4 hours travelling (round trip) and half were within one hour of home.

That’s not exactly ‘nothing to do’.

But, given your history on this thread, i suspect you’ll try further ridiculous tactics to try prove your point. It’s a pity you can’t or won’t debate honestly.

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Eh? My whole point is that cities in the UK have more to do in them than cities in Ireland.

sammylady37 · 19/07/2025 17:38

WallTree · 19/07/2025 17:34

Eh? My whole point is that cities in the UK have more to do in them than cities in Ireland.

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Nice try, but no. You literally posted earlier that “there is very, very little to do in Ireland”. In Ireland. The country. Not ‘in cities in Ireland’, not ‘within walking distance’ of most people, not ‘outside of cities’ or ‘in rural Ireland’. You have since ducked and dived, changed the goalposts and ignored points in attempts to dismiss posters proving you wrong and confer your disdain for Ireland.

usedtobeaylis · 19/07/2025 17:55

WallTree · 19/07/2025 15:56

Oh come on, Ireland is not known for its beautiful architecture. There is almost no historical architecture, we just didn't have the building techniques or population density to have achieved this at the time. Lots of vernacular bungalows.

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Almost no historical architecture? Wtf? I can think of loads in Dublin alone.

This really sounds to me like when people from Glasgow complain that there's nothing to do in the city, which also isn't true.

Arran2024 · 19/07/2025 18:05

My brother in law lived in Ireland for over 20 years - he recently came back. He found the biggest difference was how much life in Ireland depends on you knowing someone eg at the council. My niece still lives there and I am constantly astonished by how much she depends on favours from her huge network of aunts, cousins, school friends etc.