I feel so broken

[Heartfeels]

I have been in a situationship for 3 months and I've fallen in love with him.I ended things yesterday because I knew in my heart it wasn't going anywhere.This has absolutely devastated and broken me to the point I'm constantly crying and cannot see a way to come to terms with this.I was married for 28 years and been on my own for 7 years and this was the first man I let into my life.

You're not broken. Dont tell yourself you're broken. You're feeling really sad because you didn't get something you wanted. You've done harder things than this and come through it. You'll feel better soon.

honest.Im struggling to eat and I've lost nearly 2 stones with feeling so heartbroken about it all.I was married for 28 years and on my own
How have you lost two stone from feeling heartbroken, if you only broke up yesterday, or is it down to the stress he caused you while in this situation-ship.
It does not seem like he was a good man at all.
He didn't feel the same. Did you discuss a future?

I think it’s normal to feel that devastated, especially after having your guard up for so long.

When I was cheated on after a year it hurt far, far more than I anticipated due to how short our relationship had been. Now that I look back I think the sense of betrayal was hightened due to me having been single for so long prior to this person. It’s like the first time you finally let your guard down, you get completely screwed over again.

How have you lost 2 stone if you only ended it yesterday?

I just told him I'd developed massive feelings for him,I didn't say I'd fallen in love with him cause I didn't want to scare him off.

Thank you I just feel like an absolute fool right now.

Exactly,he chased me and I admit I was flattered by his attention and I fell for him so quickly.

Because of the way things were going ,he'd be all in and then I'd not hear from him for a week .

You might feel like one but you’re not! You recognised he wasn’t giving you what you need, and you called time on things. That makes you pretty wise in my book. And, yes, you let him into your life initially (after he chased you!), but that’s not foolish. That’s part of life — making friends, finding connections, exploring new relationships. We’d all be very isolated if none of us ever put ourselves out there and took a risk.
You took a risk; it hasn’t delivered, and you’ve drawn a line under it. That’s not foolish. It’s sad (for you), of course, because you hoped it would work out, but it’s not foolish.

Some of the YABU responses surprise me a bit. We're all wired differently and I personally think it's absolutely possible to fall in love in three months. Obviously 'real', deep love takes longer, but that initial feeling of being in love can descend on a person pretty damn fast, IME anyway.

OP, it's natural that you're feeling so upset right now, but it sounds like you did the right thing in the long run. It does sound like not having this guy in your life will be a lot. better for your stress levels, but that probably doesn't help much right now. Take things a day at a time.💐

Op I’ve been there and I get it. You can absolutely fall in love in 3 months, especially so if you’ve already had a thing for the person before that. Look up attachment styles - it sounds as though he’s an avoidant, and it may help you to realise it’s nothing personal. I agree you’ve been strong and brave to end it if it wasn’t working for you. I’ve been in a very similar situation (also lost a lot of weight) but I’m here to tell you that it does get easier with time 🌷

It happens to everyone at some point, intense love bombing is hard to avoid. This is 💯 a him problem, not you.
Take it as a sign that you're open to meeting someone new who respects you.
You took control and dumped him, good on ye.

You are not foolish, he is.

Is what you are feeling infactuation and not actually love.....

How many times did he ignore you for a week?

I'm sorry but 3 months and only seeing him once a week, so 12 times, and he wasnt even In touch much the rest of the time? And you're that heartbroken you've lost two stone and can't stop crying? We're you maybe too intense when you did see him and that's why he was backing off?

OP I’ve been there - similar story except I was younger and hadn’t been married etc. had liked a guy for years but one of us was in a relationship at different points etc. Eventually we were both single and he sought me out. We had the most incredible first couple of dates and I even called my best friend to tell her I’d met my future husband 😳

suffice to say, similar to you, he went hot and cold and I could just tell he wasn’t on the same wavelength or looking for the same thing. I ended it after 8 weeks, having cried about it loads for a couple of weeks before that (in private). It was horrible and took me a couple of months to get over it. I was absolutely right though, as are you - it takes guts to do it but is definitely the right action. Well done and hope you find the one soon enough (I did).

Thank you for your kind words,I am a bit if a loner I have MS and suffer with anxiety

Hearing other people's similar stories is helping a little bit.

A couple of times ,I'm an overthinker so I automatically started thinking all sorts of scenarios.

No not at all, I gave him space and let him lead the pace of our relationship.

Thank you so much for being so understanding.

Ah. Been there myself OP it is really awful feeling this way. And I think 3 months is enough time to fall in love. Not deeply, but in a superficial / swept up in the excitement kind of way. And it’s difficult when they do the disappearing and reappearing thing, playing with your emotions. I bet my bottom dollar he will be chasing you again as soon as you’re healing and doing well.
Sympathy. No real advice other than keep your dignity and don’t wallow too much and definitely don’t reach out to him. You will be ok, even if it’s a shitty month or two while you gather yourself up.

Thank you I've known him for 7 years and always felt something for him ,maybe I have always been quietly in love with him.

We were seeing each other once a week and he was so lovely to me very loving and attentive but then I wouldn't hear from him for days.

Yea, fuck that. He's yanking your chain and has other women on the go.

Block him every which way OP and pick yourself up, dust yourself down and go for some self love.

is he married @Heartfeels?