To ask what your biggest problem in life is at the moment

[naturalcrackle111]

New bathroom needed
dh needs a car

My situation is in no way as tough as some (most) of the posts on this thread, but the black dog is back. Not in danger of doing anything stupid - just feel that I need life to progress but due to circumstances beyond my control I am treading water and it's pushing me under mentally. Need to grit my teeth and look for the light.

I sincerely hope things improve for him, and you.
Never give up hope

I'm really sorry to hear this @smeg. That sounds really painful. But - you can only make the best decision for you, with the information you have at the time. At one point I thought I was permanently unemployable due to a chronic pain condition. That really knocked me for six, I became crippled with the load of guilt. But that unexpectedly got resolved via pain management therapy. I hope that there is a time when you can feel better. But in the main, you just need to be kind to yourself in the meantime. 🙏

It's such a risk, but set against that I have to admit that I have loved being freelance and having time with my daughters.

My lovely girls went through horrendous mental health issues, stuff I can't bear to even speak of. In the end I was completely exhausted and burnt out by the constant stress of being up all night with a distressed and despairing dd, then having to pick my tired self up and face a toxic, bullying culture and performance pressure at work. In the end I just broke. I couldn't go on. No-one could have. Most people would have broken sooner. I was literally the last mother standing.

So I have to admit it's the best thing that ever happened, as well as being a huge compromise. I try to see it half full, but then im not into toxic positivity whete you don't allow yourself to feel sadness or regret about the negative aspects.

Dealing with uncooperative local authority. DS needs a special school. His mainstream have said they can't meet needs. I don't know where he will be going in Sept.

Also feel like our marriage is dangling on a thread.

We're here, and we're listening. I hope you have some RL support and friends to hold you up as well.

It's tough. I don't get the Black Dog very often, but it's utterly grim while it lasts. Do whatever you need to remain afloat.

Getting to the point I'm now genuinely fearing for my safety going to and from work. We've been targeted by a group of shoplifters (who are not a nice bunch) and someone else has already been jumped. And work won't do anything about it.

Kit, retail is just horrible these days. It’s sad the management won’t take it seriously , these criminal gangs are feral.

It’s a first world problem , but every job I’ve had I’ve tried my best to be kind and helpful and get on with people and do my best and I end up with the worst co workers and colleagues they have who seem to just take against me for reasons I’m sure about. My latest job has been awful and I’ll be job hunting again.
Compared to some people on this site it’s really nothing at all , but awful colleagues has definitely affected my mental health lately ( only ever minimum wage jobs, had a few over the years)

Thank you @Alltheyearround - that means a lot x

North west. I hate it. I was actually born in the region and forced to live here until I was 18. I hated it then, but genuinely came back with an open mind, for the first 3 years. It’s always been very crony-based, jobs allotted on the basis of who knows who. The middle class snobs think middle class jobs (teaching primarily) make them the bees knees and they don’t open the social club to those of us not born into money. Hence what was the working class, now the underclass, being a bit crap and just interested in being given everything too. I spent my best working days in the Midlands where boys’ networks exist of course: but it’s much more rule based and competence is still valued, plus it’s just a bigger world. Not here.

we couldn’t afford to buy a house in the Midlands ten years ago. The idea was we came up for a couple of years just to get on the housing ladder and put some money down. I made it v clear I wanted to go back after a couple of years here, but was strung along just like in that other thread, and now any possibility of me having decent work ever again has gone given the way qualifications only last a couple of years now. I wish I’d never bothered.

I have a mildly autistic dc too. There is a background increase I think, despite so much of it (imnsho) being down to cultural change and the desire to exclude by label. There’s also the increase in dementia, which I have seen linked to autism: they say the brain patterns are similar. Somebody knows what has caused it, is my belief, and does not care. My sympathies to all struggling with serious SEN.

Oh wow, so sorry about how much you are going through. I hope you have support? (If not, reach out, there can be help out there, - & even just writing it down, as you have here, can maybe help just a little bit?). MacMillan as one example, without wanting to sound like that will solve all problems. (It may or may not be right for you). Please concentrate on yourself, your own needs & look after yourself (and your beloved cat) - Hard as it is, future problems you mention, such as possible benefit changes / the 'world' and what may or may not happen in the future are possibilities, not certainties - maybe try to ignore or curb reading the frequent current trend of some social media that brings these issues to the forefront and can make it seem like such things are imminent. Best wishes, sending love, you sound so strong 🌹

I'm lonely,stuck living with elderly parent who has dementia.
I'm skint, just enough to buy food
My health is pretty bad

sciatic endometriosis, fibromyalgia, chronic pain and fatigue,limited mobility.I cant work and only get PIP. My sister and hubby are emigrating to Oz to be with her daughters and grandkids, my brother is already there and has been for 20 plus years.So my 82 year old mum is beside herself, she's only left with me to look after her she is in good health at the moment but I will be her sole carer if her health deteriorates.

Wondering whether or not I’ve done the right thing, by reporting my exh to the Police. It’s not so much the reporting it’s the repercussions when he finds out, that I’m more worried about. Plus part of me thinks I’ve just put myself through even more trauma by reporting it because it happened around 9 years ago so even if it does go to court it’s not like anyone is going to believe me because I didn’t report it straight away.

A woman's two children both drowned and the next day her 31 year old brother died of a heart attack......
Words fail me. This is a grief I cannot even begin to comprehend.
That woman is somewhere right now feeling destroyed.
Are people holding her through this?

What do you mean by saying 'somebody knows what has caused it'.
Do you mean somebody knows what has caused the increase in ASD diagnosis?
Who do you think knows, and what do you think they know?
I'm really interested to hear you elaborate.
I'm super interested in why we are seeing so many children being diagnosed with ASD.

As much as they can. It is just so unimaginable pain.

Its a huge problem, the dread of work dominated my thoughts as I was so exhausted, so Im totally with you on that. I cut outgoings right back but still could only afford to drop a few hours and you still need money to actually live.
I also opted for a change of job, within same field which allowed me to work from home (rare as a nurse and im very lucky) i also do longer days which are hard but give me an amazing extra day off - that may be an option for you.
The combination of compressing hours and dropping just a few has helped though not fully resolved it. I view my longer days simply as a couple of extra hours is like being paid for your commute if you're working at home- so it helped my mindset
Time is so precious, I hope you can win yourself some back somehow

If it is any consolation the police may not action it and even if they do the matter will be delayed by the court system queue anyway.

Happy to PM if you need anything just shout. I'm not on here all day (no social media on phone) but often here in afternoon/eve x

Also struggling with a loved one in the chaos of addiction. Sending love

Hi Betty
I don't want to try to teach you to suck eggs, but have you tried oat baths?
My daughter had terrible eczema as a baby, her arms and legs looked like she'd been burned in a fire.

MIL recommended oats in her bath (skin conditions are quite common in OH's family), so i bought plain porridge oats, and made a "sponge" with them, in the tied off end of a stocking.
I'd hold this under the tap while the bath was running, which makes the water look milky, then just use it the "sponge" to wipe her body down.

I'd tried everything from the doctor, creams, steroids etc but within about 2 weeks her skin was 90% clear.

If you haven't already tried this, maybe worth a go? xx

@mrsCtheRed
The brand Aveeno uses oats in their body care products.
Your mil was a wise woman.

One of mine was under derm for nasty eczema as a child, and asthma. We took him off dairy (after completing the milk ladder as he was intolerant as a baby) and took him swimming and didn’t shower him after and it really helped! We used aveeno and had it on prescription for a while. It is miserable for them, and for us to look after.