Breastfeeding judgement

[ByPearlDeer]

My son is almost 20 months old. He is still breastfed and has always been a “boob monster”, obsessed with feeding and prefers it to eating solids etc. We have never had a feeding schedule (he’s always been on and off all day) and he’s always been fed on demand.

Now that he’s older I’m really feeling the judgement from family and friends. I’m constantly getting comments like “didn’t he just have a feed an hour ago?”, “how is he on there again?!”, “what a surprise, he’s back on the boob” etc.

He seems to get overwhelmed easily and in newer/unfamiliar environments he does request it a lot more and it seems to help to regulate him. He will often go in to a big meltdown if I refuse it.

On the weekend, we had a meet up with friends (who also have young babies). They said I really needed to put boundaries in place and let him cry, one said I just need to go “cold turkey” now. Even my partner (who on the whole is super supportive) said I’m the problem now and letting him dictate when he feeds too much.

I’m happy to keep breastfeeding, but it’s making me feel like I’m doing something weird/failing by not being stricter about it as I only hear negativity.

Is anyone else in a similar position? AIBU and should I be putting more boundaries in place now? I’m really cautious of meeting his emotional needs and want to tackle this gently.

This. Three-year-old twins here, so I always get judgy looks. But if one is sad because someone stole a toy from them at a stay and play, and they want comfort from their mum, obviously they want the maximum comfort from mum that they're used to. That'll be a boob feed then. Then the other one wants in! They're not going to ask that of anyone else but me, so they can obviously regulate in other ways, so what's the problem?! I really can't understand any fuss people make. Your so-called friends need to mind their own business, OP. They're toddlers not teenagers!

This too

For introducing a comforter go pick one together so its instantly apecial for him as he chose it (and pick up a spare of the exact same one!)
Something they can hold in hand usually the small bears/cows type thing with a soft square that are breathable.
Then wear it down your top to sleep for a few nights so it smells of you. When having a feed get them to hold it and when putting to bed place next to them. That way it's a comforting smell of you and should help calm a bit/feel safe.

Touch out with extended bf is very real! Get some magnesium supplements it can help.

Nothing wrong with breastfeeding but he’s 20 months, not 2 months.

It’s a totally different situation. Breast milk is produced by a woman’s body to feed babies.

It’s no one else’s business, including your partner’s who is probably influenced by the views of your mutual friends.

I cant believe how old some people breast feed their kids to i couldn't imagine picking my kid up from school and them being like come on mum get your tit's out I want my after school snack. I know im being judgemental but 🤢🤮

I cant believe then don't. Simple.

I’m still feeding at nearly three but do think it’s important to establish some boundaries. The boundaries you prioritise will no doubt reflect your priorities and parenting style.

For me, this means not breastfeeding before lunch or supper. DS has to wait if a meal is due. If feeding during the day at other times I will offer him a snack or cup of milk because I want to encourage those as alternatives/additions. Breast feeding is largely a source of comfort in our house so I will try and offer a cuddle instead but this isn’t something DS is readily accepting tbh. We don’t feed out and about anymore (except public transport) and I’m firm that DS isn’t allowed to just sit there with his hand down my top, which is his go to substitute.

Wise up🙄

20 month olds don't go to school. I'd be pretty shocked if a DC said 'get your tit's out' too but I'm not sure what it has to do with this thread?

You're not just being judgemental, you're being gross and a bit stupid.

She’s struggling.
It’s time.

Im talking about people on this thread who are still breastfeeding their school aged children if you had bothered to read it.

Why does it affect you? Personally I wouldn't have liked feeding at that age, but if the mother and the child are both happy then whats the issue?

I've read the whole thread. Four is the oldest anyone has posted, and mostly it's 2 or 3 yo. School starts at 5 doesn't it?
Youre making it sound like it's 8 or 9 year old, not young children.

Kids start school at 4. Do you not agree with 8/9 year olds being breastfed. That is quite judgemental of you im slightly disappointed in you

Where have I said it effects me? Im giving my opinion on a mumsnet thread posted under aibu isnt that what we are supposed to do or do we all have to agree on everything. It would be a pretty boring site

It would be unusual for a child to even be able to feed at that age due to the changes that take place with the teeth/sucking action.
But I wouldn't expect you to know that.
School age is 5 where I live.

I breastfed til well over 3yrs. It's perfectly normal.

Simply tell them to fuck off, honestly.

I breastfed mine until 3y4m but from around 18m I did stop feeding in public for this reason and replacing a feed with a cuddle and a drink of water. Mainly cos of the judgment but also because it started feeling weird to me. DD caught on quickly and got with it so it might be time to make a call on how you feel about it. If you’re fine with it keep going though!

Well its 4 in england. And children absolutely can breastfeed well past 4 i dont know where you're getting your information from

I breastfed mine until they self weaned. I can’t remember when that was but it was well over 2. Ds1 was well over 4. Ds2 would have been around 3. I digress … I fed them all, in public, until they turned 2. To me, by then, they could understand that they needed to wait until we got home. If it’s a comfort thing (and there’s nothing wrong with that) it can be exchanged for a hug or a snuggle and reading a book with him.

Even after they turned 2 I’d whip it out in public if they were hurt. I must have a resting bitch face because very few people ever commented negatively about it.

"Past 4" and "8 or 9 years old" aren't in the same category though are they. Look you think bfing is disgusting, you think children who feed would use crude words like "tits" to refer to their mums.

Why are you judging parents who choose to breastfeed their 8 and 9 year olds