Told that I'm 'always' travelling.

[OneMerryLemonViewer]

The thing is I'm really not and not sure why it matters.
Last month I went abroad for 10 days which involved staying in 1 country for 5 days then getting the train over the border to another for the remaining.

3 months prior to that I went on a city break for 3 days. 4 months prior to that I stayed with a relative abroad for 3 days.

Each time I do the holidays quite cheaply, flights are pretty much cheaper than the cost of a meal out! Accommodation is usually cheap too.

The thing is when the friends say this they don't follow it by anything positive or ask about it, they just make blanket statements about how I'm 'always' doing xyz.

I think it's a mentality thing too, I once went abroad for a night very cheaply but for some people that wouldn't be an option and that's fine, these friends would go somewhere for a week or two weeks like somewhere long haul and hot and wouldn't think to just go to a city for a couple of days or something.

Both are fine, I just don't understand why they have to always comment on what I'm doing and see it as odd.

It's not money either, they're all massively out earning me!

I think a lot is code for more than me in that situation. Do people saying it mean it as a criticism or is it an observation?

I think a good way to deal with it would just be to say more than some, less than others and shrug.

Statistically, it is an above average number of overseas trips.

Why they're saying this - you can only find out by asking them.

It could be a coded flying/environmental comment.

It could be they have less free time/disposable income.

It could be something about the amount/way you talk about travel.

It could just be something to say!

I think different people just have different perceptions of travel.

I’ll happily drive an hour or two to take the kids somewhere interesting and might do it multiple times per week. I have friends who consider a half an hour drive ‘a big day out’.

I’m like you (or I was pre-kids). I’ll happily do cheap short breaks to interesting places or hire a car and do multiple stops/day trips on a longer holiday. I find the hassle involved doesn’t really bother me and I travel light, my preference is to go to lots of places and explore.
I have friends/family who like to pack all their home comforts and stay in one place relaxing (and spend their holiday budget on fewer trips so they can stay somewhere nicer).
I also know people who are just very overwhelmed by packing/travelling/navigating somewhere new and so don’t want to do it regularly and would prefer to just stay home and enjoy their garden or do local day trips.
Other people just prioritize spending their money on other things; hobbies, pets, expensive cars/hours, private school for kids, designer clothes and accessories etc.

No-one is unreasonable or wrong, we just all enjoy different things! The comments are probably just observations, some people struggle to understand things that aren’t their personal preference.

I get this too. We tend to go abroad 3 times a year, but spread out and then away for a couple of weekends in the U.K. I just ignore people who comment. We often stay in budget hotels and try and find low cost meal options to keep to our budget.

We don't eat out often at home, have take aways, go on big boozy nights out, or buy each other lavish Christmas and birthday presents - we choose to spend our hard earned cash on travel and new experiences .

Just ignore them OP. There's probably a bit of envy going on.

We get exactly the same!
You’re always on holiday is most people’s favourite thing to say to us, as well as asking where we’re going to next!
We go abroad 4/5 times a year, we both work so we’re entitled to have our downtime and spend our money as we want!

I get this too and I take it positively. Exploring new places is one of my favourite things to do and I’ve been lucky enough to live abroad more than once and travel for work. When people say I’m always travelling to be honest, they sound a bit jealous and that’s how I take it and just say ‘yes, I love it’. Enjoy your travels!

We get comments from dhs family about our travelling...we go away every month somewhere, even if it's this country. None of their business!

I think more people are sniffy now about the environmental consequences of travelling a lot, whether thats a lot of local car journeys or several flights a year.

Yep, I agree with this. I wouldn't care about the money or life choices but would think it was really selfish due to the environmental impact all this travelling was likely to have. Nipping on a plane for a night out is completely unacceptable in my opinion, although I probably wouldn't tell you this to your face if you were my friend.

Why do you feel the need to justify your trips by them being inexpensive? You can abd should spend your money on what you enjoy, there's no shame in it!

Secondly, why was the comment made?

I love travelling, it’s my one big extravagance. Some people don’t like going away so they feel the need to be funny about it. I find it weird when people spend all their spare money frequently redecorating their house, but I don’t say anything about it as it’s their affair.

At the moment it’s difficult as elderly DPs need a lot of visiting and now know how many trips I go on, so I feel judged, as usually I wouldn’t tell them everything. Also I suspect in the next few months I may well have to cut back for a while because of the situation, so I am probably doing more now.

You sound quite focused on money OP, as in you're keen to point out that you neither have nor spend much of it. Do you do this when talking with your friends too? If so, it might be that they're signalling they've noticed a discrepancy between claims of poverty and frequent overseas trips.

Let them make comments, it’s your life not theirs. What’s it to them?

Are you boastful about your travels? Could be that.

We get this too, along with eye rolls, drives me mad.
If I know someone who is going somewhere I'm so excited for them, I wouldn't dream of thinking anything negative about it, god know what goes on in their head to see it as a bad thing.

Just know that when these people are on their death bed they will finally get it.

If someone wants to travel, has the money to do so (doesn't have to cost a lot) and has good health then seeing the world is one of the most amazing things to do in life.

Keep travelling, you will have no regrets and live a much fuller life, so many people don't realise what is important until its too late.

Perhaps your the sidekick friend, they can make snide comments to you but expect you to relish hearing about their travels.

Try not telling them for a bit, if they ask you haven’t been away for a while, you can reply, oh I have but didn’t want to bore people with the details.

We are exactly the same - always get a cheap deal and go self catering - find a local supermarket etc. Probably looks to others who only do a 2 weeks in the sun type holiday like we are always going off somewhere but we are shrewd with it!

It could well be the negative environmental effect that bothers them. I have friends who portrays themself as environmentally conscious by doing stuff like only driving second hand ev’s, reuse bathwater to water the garden, only use bar shampoo etc. But then they also fly away on holiday 5-6 times a year and that doesn’t seem to bother them. It’s a bit hypocritical and not very smart.

I doubt very much It's the environmental aspect, they drive everywhere!
But I'll try to just ignore it, thank you .

And no i don't boast, I didn't even bring it up, i just post a couple of pictures online which I'm perfectly entitled to do.

I didn't suggest you weren't entitled to post a couple of pictures, nor imply it. Being boastful was just a theory.

You need to challenge it calmly in the moment. You don’t need to be rude but when they say “you are always travelling” just breathe slowly, draw yourself more upright, look them in the eye and say something clearly like; “why does my travel bother you?” and keep your eyes on theirs and then don’t fill in the silence.

Obviously only say the above if you are sure you have not been boastful or insensitive about your trips, for example, talking about travelling in front of people who you know can’t afford to go away.

There are always a certain number of people in a group who try to criticise or undermine for whatever reason; they comment on your appearance or accent or something that makes you stand out as “different”. It’s usually rather sad, playground stuff because they feel insecure, so make themselves feel better by putting you down and trying to make you feel like an outsider. It’s best dealt with then and there. Make it clear how petty they are being and that you have noticed, and it usually stops.

I think it is just about doing things slightly differently to how they live their life, I know some people don't like that.

Only on MN.

It’s envy pure and simple. Even if they have the money, they don’t have the time, or the imagination, or any other reason -
grass is always greener etc