Told that I'm 'always' travelling.

[OneMerryLemonViewer]

The thing is I'm really not and not sure why it matters.
Last month I went abroad for 10 days which involved staying in 1 country for 5 days then getting the train over the border to another for the remaining.

3 months prior to that I went on a city break for 3 days. 4 months prior to that I stayed with a relative abroad for 3 days.

Each time I do the holidays quite cheaply, flights are pretty much cheaper than the cost of a meal out! Accommodation is usually cheap too.

The thing is when the friends say this they don't follow it by anything positive or ask about it, they just make blanket statements about how I'm 'always' doing xyz.

I think it's a mentality thing too, I once went abroad for a night very cheaply but for some people that wouldn't be an option and that's fine, these friends would go somewhere for a week or two weeks like somewhere long haul and hot and wouldn't think to just go to a city for a couple of days or something.

Both are fine, I just don't understand why they have to always comment on what I'm doing and see it as odd.

Might it just be an off hand comment, not meant as an insult. You say they are wealthy enough to travel, but don't, could they simply not be interested in your travels and trying to find something to say?

Your lifestyle isn't my lifestyle and never has been.
I would dearly love to have the confidence to do what you do, to be relaxed about travelling, especially abroad and by myself.
Perhaps there is an element of jealousy in the people who make these comments?

Anyway OP honestly don't pay any attention to those who choose to make snidey comments. And don't feel you have to justify yourself, on MN or in real life. Just enjoy your lifestyle.

When people see you spending money on something, they usually:

1. Assume your budget and requirements are the same as theirs, and therefore the cost.
2. Think that this is on top of all the other costs that they also usually spend money on too.

People don't think, "oh, x doesn't have the same car as me and walks to work so they can afford abc". They think "my life costs y, so their life must cost y, yet they can also afford to buy abc, which if I was planning for it would cost ££££". (I was thinking this the other day when packing clothes I've had for 10-15y for a holiday - MIL mentioned cost of new clothes as a holiday expense).

And even our nearest and dearest can have wildly incorrect assumptions about our income.

My friend sent me a job she thought I might like - it paid 25% less than my current job, and she clearly thought it was a big boost for me.

Thanks for the thoughts everyone.

My late mother was a bit like this- comments about how we were always on holiday or eating out- I think she sort of resented it - dunno why - maybe because her own world had contracted due to mobility issues.

Why does it bother you, you can’t stop them saying it (well unless you stop spending time with them) so probably better to work out why it irks you. It’s bringing something up in you that you feel you have to defend.

I go away one a month, be it a holiday, city break, spa break! I work hard I pay for it, I am not in debt and I couldn't give a flying fig what anyone else thinks

For habitual homebodies such as myself, it can be hard to empathise with the urge to travel.

It's not so much the destinations (unless they're choosing heat and sun, which I dislike), more all the discomfort, stress and tedium of travel itself, especially if you're travelling far for a very short stay.

I get this too and people saying how do you afford it you are always away. Thing is I look for deals, book in advance, go short breaks and am single so don't need to organise with another person. I just respond I know now after years of feeling like had to justify/make excuses when really I just think life is for living!

I get this too, and I simply eye roll! 😂 Some people have boxed themselves in with their closed mindedness. I travel fairly regularly and don’t have children (imagine the outrage). It’s a “them” problem as far as I’m concerned. Just eye roll, it usually works 😂

But trips really don't have to cost a lot. I often go to Asia for a month at a time. Apart from flights ( which I could get cheaply if I didn't like BC) the who month costs me a max of £800. Yet people spend thousands on a week in Europe.

The number of people who say " I don't know how you can afford that" but at the same time they think nothing of spending £500 on a weekend, or keep a caravan etc

I’d nod and smile. I do quite a lot of travel but less than a FB friend of mine. She is on a limited budget but prioritizes travel, particularly short European breaks. And good for her. She tags many of her posts (also dats out in the Uk) with #never at work. Fair enough! Given her age she’s likely worked for 40 years!

Are you single and they are settled down? This is ringing vague bells of what my smug married friends would say to me when they were say 31 and sprogged up and I was single and flitting around (and was actually pretty miserable). I think they felt sorry for me but they wanted to say something about my life that implied it was somehow interesting, when they actually couldn't think of anything worse than living my life.

OP your friends sound a bit jealous tbh possibly because of the freedom aspect while they are tied with normal /mundane life.
A friend of mine has travelled most of the world throughout her life, she had an excellent salary /pension so why wouldn't she continue to do so?
She sends postcards and snap shots from her phone from various places where she embraces the local culture. Not a tourist doing beaches and the usual stuff.
I'm happy for her that she is enjoying her life, me? I'm a home bird 100%.

My sib is always travelling and that's fine. I do sometimes comment about it to my DH, never them, mostly because it underscores how different our lives are and how free my sib is. It's not envy because I'm a bit of a homebody anyway, it just really underlines how different our lives are.

Then again, they make a lot of assumptions about my life too. Doesn't matter.

Oh yes, the eye rolling! My partner and I used to go abroad at least 4 times a year. We also had a sailing boat and would be away sailing (west coast of Scotland) most weekends from Easter to October. The envy from some people was palpable. But we both had high earning jobs, I have no children and his children grew up a long time ago - we could afford it. We then made the eye rolling worse by moving abroad 15 years ago. We still travel a lot but they are probably less aware of it.

oh my mother makes comments like this all the time. I have a decent income, own my home, not in any debt, don't spend money on flashy cars or tv subscription channels etc, so if I can afford it, why not?!? I also have a lot of friends distributed all over the country and a hobby that takes me places so I go away for at least a night on average once a month. She's the sort of person who doesn't understand why anyone would want to do something she wouldn't do or enjoy!

That's weird. Half of my friends travel monthly, I travel a lot and I have others who might go abroad for a week every year. I don't think anyone has ever made snarky comments about the amount of travel.
Are they snarky comments or more just comments in part of the conversation.

It's quicker and cheaper for me to fly to Malaga than it is to get the train to London. My colleagues wouldn't raise an eyebrow about spending a fortune on a night out in our local town (drinks, meal, cocktails, club, Ubers there and back, not to mention new outfits, hairdo and nails/eyelashes/lip fillers) but I can spend £80 on flights and get criticised for travelling so much.

It's jealously and prioritising your finances. Big night out for my colleagues costs them far more than a few days abroad for me. I'd rather spend my money on travel than in £12 cocktails

This is so true! Some people think holidays need to be 4* all inclusive in popular destinations....if you look beyond this there are lots of bargains cheap flights, self catering options if you are open to exploring different places

"How dare you have fun and freedom and enjoy your life whilst the rest of us can't just do what we want whenever we want?"

That sort of thing? I can't stand it!

Could be jealousy, martyrdom from their own fears and insecurities, even misogyny (women should be at home fulfilling their responsibilities looking after the children and the men.

It's just jealousy, OP, so ignore them! I get this too sometimes, but I would much rather spend my money on travel than on almost anything else. It's a wonderful thing that you're doing. I know that when I'm on my deathbed I'll look back with great joy on all the wonderful places I visited.

My lovely cousin retired early and is really youthful. She's never been abroad but has multiple short breaks and holidays in the Uk about once every 6 weeks /2 months. I say to her how she's always going away but we laugh about it fondly. I'm neither jealous or annoyed. Why would i be? I say good for her. Tbh, a lot of people just comment on holidays because it's something to say. People regularly ask me in work if I'm going away and vice versa and it's just people chatting.

Good for you.

If I had no pets or kids or more money, I would always be travelling.
Its definitely something I plan to do in the future more.

It may have just been on add hand comment and they didn’t mean anything by it or they’re just jealous.

Do they have kids/pets that means they can’t just up and leave as often?

Are you retired?
How do you go away for a month at a time?

And yes I agree or I often find people spend their money on material things and then say they can’t afford a holiday and are jealous that other people can.