To get irrationally angry at train behaviour

[MisanthropeLikely]

I'm not an angry person, but I'm thinking I might be becoming a Victor Meldrew when travelling. Particularly by train. Particularly long distance. Specific behaviour that enrages me:

1. People that have loud phone conversations or video calls on trains

1. People on long train journeys with limited space in the luggage rack who selfishly put their small bags on it rather than in the overhead, meaning people with larger cases have no space to put it

1. People who spend ages farting around standing in the aisle during boarding so no one can pass.

1. People who act like it's the Olympic 100m in their rush to get off

1. Men who manspread into the aisle

1. People who sit on your reserved seat and then refuse to move.

1. Lone travellers who take up 4 seater sections, preventing people in groups from sitting together

1. People who ostentatiously poo on trains. I mean, I get you sometimes have to go but some of the things people do are disgusting

1. Listening to music or watching videos with no headphones

10. Train stations that are massive but wait until 10 minutes before the train to tell you your platform so you need to have a stress race to make it with your bags.

11. People who wont move their bags off seats on an obviously full train.

I get irrationally angry about this stuff. My worst ever experiences were:

I was on a train once and this man had vrazely taken our reserved seats despite them being marked reserved and other empty seats. He'd set himself up some kind of fucking buffet on our table with a cloth and everything, then when I politely asked him to move, he told me to go and sit somewhere else because I was disturbing his meal.

Another time I was boarding a eurostar in an intense heatwave after a huge delay. It was roasting, I'd been standing at the gate for two solid hours in menopause sweats with a load of heavy bags. They started boarding. It's about 29 steps down to the platform, and a ramp os provided for people with luggage. The attendant was at the top of the ramp telling everyone who did not have luggage to take the stairs.

Anyway, there I am struggling to keep ny heavy suitcase from rolling right down the ramp and taking me with it, and some woman with no luggage at all aside from her small handbag decided to walk down the luggage ramp and overtake everyone on the inside. As there was no space, she moved her legs into my suitcase and then shouted at me "YOUR SUITCASE IS ON MY LEGS, WHY DONT YOU WATCH WHERE YIUR GOING"

I flushed bright red and said "I'm going downhill with a heavy bag I can barely control, multiple other bags and you walked into me trying to overtske", she turned and sniggered at me. A real deep, patronising snigger.

I still hold a grudge a year later.

Does anyone else experience these feelings or is it just me? I am petrified of flying so travel extensively by rail and I am at a point where I don't enjoy travelling because I feel so irrationally cross at inconsiderate and rude people.

Anyone else?

It was obviously a lighthearted comment. Honestly I do wonder why some of the posters on here are on here. If you get so put out by strangers not agreeing with you then perhaps the Internet isn't for you.

The problem with public transport is the public!!
Can we add sniffers who don't use a tissue to the list please?

Pot, kettle.

The child cannot perhaps help being blunt, but the adult can definitely help being entitled (shaming people to move is entitled). Also, it's a myth that people with ASD cannot learn the rules around this - he thinks 4 seats = 4 people - the train company agree, however they haven't said it has to be 4 people who are together.
Train tickets mean that you pay for a journey, and a seat isn't even guaranteed!

You can't see how another poster was backtracking, so you choose another poster at random and accuse them of backtracking...

Asd is a broad spectrum. Not all of them are sticklers for rules.

I think on planes, people want to get off asap so they don't end up at the back of the often ridiculously long passport control queue, especially at quiet times when there's only one kiosk open and it can take over half an hour to process a plane full of passengers. If you're at the back of that queue, the baggage claim hall is often empty as everyone else has gone, as the bags come through quicker when few planes are arriving.

I didn't say anyone was a 'stickler for rules' - I am basing my response on how the person described their ASD child.

Well if they are frothing at the mouth about a disabled child then God help them. I hope the mother in question is OK as comments like that can tip.them over the edge.

For clarity, I don't fly and I have a child at university in Aberdeen so I often take long trains with luggage enough for a two week holiday. That's generally 1 suitcase that is too big for an overhead rack, my handbag and occasionally a small holdall. I dont think that's excessive luggage for a long journey, and unless people have a disability I don't think they should use up the luggage rack so people with suitcases have nowhere to put them. Its selfish and lazy IMO.

I was on the Eurostar this summer, a journey on which many people are doing a day trip or an overnight and others can reasonably be expected to have more luggage, and watched as this man as he put his bag, his wife's bag and little cartoon style mini bags for all his children on the big luggage rack so nobody with actual cases could use the space. I think that's hugely selfish. He was a big guy. No reason to do that.

My annoyance is at selfish behaviour that makes travel harder for others. If someone gets on with lots of luggage then maybe they need to do that. When my son goes to university I'm financially able to ship his personals up there, but not all people have the luxury of affording that. Lots of students have 2 or 3 big cases. Similarly, for work I frequently need to travel on the route that goes from London to Stansted and lots of people have cases. Fair enough, they're going on holiday.

So it doesn't annoy me if someone gets on with lots, to the contrary I would generally stop to help them as I assume they're not finding it ideal either and just need to go from A to B.

The one time I had more than I could physically move without a trolley was the aforementioned time my son was in a wheelchair- he'd injured himself on the trip so I had to move him, two full size suitcases, a holdall and two hand luggage.

People pushed and shoved and tutted and made it almost impossible for us to get our luggage on. It was so stressful. I just think being considerate is important in small spaces and if people are being selfish it spoils it for everyone else.

Northern are an absolute joke. Yes, very risky to attempt to use them on Sundays as it really is a lottery as to what will run and what is cancelled due to the ridiculous staffing system, which as you say, is basically voluntary! We stopped using trains on Sundays a while ago due to the constant delays and short notice cancellations, and general "can't be arsed" attitude of Northern staff on trains and platforms.

I avoid the railways like the plague these days unless there's no real alternative.

Noise-cancelling earphones are a must, but they can only tune out so much. Aside from this anti-social behaviour, I have been harassed or intimidated by men far too many times. It's become increasingly noticeable since lockdown, with Friday and Saturday nights being particularly bad and rarely passing completely without incident.

I've been filmed by a man on a table seat. I now no longer take a table seat, even if I have work to do. I've had a man come and sit right beside me in an otherwise empty carriage late at night. I got up and moved to the one area of the train which had people in it - and thanked the gods there was just one small group of three people left on board. I've been unnerved by a man on the station platform, again late at night, who kept walking up and down in the car park parallel to the area in which I was waiting. He then came and stood next to me on the platform - at which point I was a bit relieved thinking he was only waiting for a train as I was. But he loitered right beside me (I moved well back from the track) and when I expected him to board he didn't, and walked slowly away. The conductor must have seen something odd in his behaviour too - he stood in the middle of the platform for several seconds watching him go. The bloke's beeline had been getting closer and closer to me - I was never so happy to see train lights approaching in the distance. Nowadays I always leave my car in that car park so I don't have to catch a connection in the lonely station at night.

So many adjustments to my own behaviour - and all because men are incapable of leaving women alone.

I could fill this post with a lot more detail even than this. Suffice it to say that I was unsurprised when I read that assaults against women on the railways had increased around tenfold in three years.

Rail travel is also prohibitively expensive. No wonder the roads are so choked.

Yes, I packed for a flight yesterday with a real care for what I'd need and when. Backpack slung under the chair in front in seconds, small bag with absolute essentials on my arm.

Sat down in seconds, all whilst wrangling a toddler, whilst other people FANNIED ABOUT LIKE NO END.

Well it seems to be thrown about a lot on here right now so why not. Anyway perhaps instead of dragging a mother of a disabled child down you can find something better to do with your time.

Nobody is 'frothing at the mouth' over the disabled child, it's the use of the word 'shame' by the parent. Would I move if it helped another ASD person, of course. Should I feel shame at having sat there to being with, no, of course not.

Asd is a broad spectrum. Not all of them are sticklers for rules.

The rules are the ones influenced greatly by the train, the travel contract you have when you get your ticket, and the space it sets out, though, not the passengers. The 'reasonable behaviour of individuals in an enclosed space out of their control' is a different level that is optional. Hence a lot of behaviour (most of it described on the thread) being annoying when it tries to push the boundaries.

Again, it might be seen as 'selfish' when you take a lot of bags!

Ah sorry I misread. The mother explained this to the child. You can't always get the point across though. Honestly.. poor kid.

Great argument

Thank you for your concern, but I can manage my time myself. Perhaps trot off and try to intimidate someone else.

So the mother made a poor choice of wording. I highly doubt she'd be rubbing her hands with glee.

Where are the regulations that state this? We don’t live in a police state. Provided that the seats are unreserved and they got there first then they are free to sit where they like.
And why does it bother you? As so much about rail travel is getting on your nerves, you’d be irritated by a group of 4 sitting together, what with all their chatter and laughter.

Maybe try not to be a bully to mums with SEN kids.

Yes, I have sympathy for the child.
I don't have sympathy for the mother, if she thinks she can 'shame' others into moving though.

My OP was about pet peeves, but I wholeheartedly agree that rail travel has become increasingly intimidating for women.

When I was 21 I was able to have a few drinks and get the train home tipsy on my own. No chance my 21 year old daughter can do this.

I'm older, but still get intimidated and harassed by men in stations and on trains. It's actually frightening

Maybe the SEN parent needs to stop thinking she can 'shame' others?