DH annoyed, who is in the wrong?

[candalll]

So basically my DC (2) has had an enlarged lymph node for 2 months now.

We were told to come back if it was still there a month ago.

The GP has referred us to the paediatric team.

My DH is absolutely fuming at me for booking the GP appointment.

He thinks that’s it’s normal to have enlarged lymph nodes.
I had to get the GP to explain what an enlarged lymph node can indicate an infection or very rarely cancer and he still wasn’t having it.

I feel as if I have wasted the GP’s time and just took DC in for no reason.

Have I done the right thing?

My dad has had cancer so anything health wise that is a concern I do book a GP appointment but not for minor things.

The last time we went to the GP prior to this was in June (for the enlarger lymph node and ringworm) and prior to this was in January (after a pharmacist referred us) so it’s not like I am always even taking DC to the GP.

You have absolutely done the right thing and of course you couldn’t forgive yourself if something were to happen to your child and you hadn’t taken action.

I don’t know if this will make you feel any better but I have had an enlarged lymph node on the right side of my neck since childhood and it has never gone down. It is visible and it is fine as I’ve had it scanned or whatever it is called. But absolutely it needs checking for peace of mind.

Men are so weird, how could it even be something that bothers him? I’ll never understand them.

Same here. Mine too is on the right side of the neck.

Nutters though on this thread abused me for saying it, so be careful.

Your husband sounds like hard work. and to be quite honest, slightly abusive. Why is he always ridiculing you?

Oh really, why? Strange. No reason to lie!

Oh lovely! This is one of those red herring threads, initially about a disagreement but there is so much more going on.

Your DP sounds terrible - what support do you need to make a plan to leave him?

Your story has no bearing in this situation whatsoever. Her child still needs this investigated. You are saying that her husband is 'correct' when he has clearly been wrong multiple times give the OP's subsequent posts. Not helpful. Of course it could be nothing, I think everyone knows that, the problem is he isn't happy with them seeking further medical attention.

I made a similar comment at this person. My reasoning was so that she didn’t panic too much that’s all. I don’t think anyone is disagreeing that it still needs checking but sometimes it’s good to know others have had the same things without them turning out to be something sinister. It would ease my mind slightly until it’s checked out properly by paediatrics, hopefully the OP feels the same.

Ditch the husband. Do the freedom program with women’s aid.

You’re right to take health seriously - your husband is wrong and sounds pretty gormless and potentially dangerous tbh.
Don’t let him undermine and control you. Perhaps rethink your whole relationship?

So he doesn’t respect your opinion, belittles you, challenges your parenting and is abusive. What’s keeping you in this relationship?

😂

Have you asked him why he thinks his friends know more about your child's health than the qualified doctor who has actually examined your child?

Sorry OP, didn’t mean to be flippant. I’d say to your DH that it’s perfectly normal to listen to and act on medical advice.

I completely agree about the husband. He sounds vile.

With regard to the lymph nodes, it's reasonable that because of OP's experiences, the opinion of a medical professional can confirm whether further investigations are necessary.

Leave your husband - he is jealous, controlling, abusive.

Is he an anti vaxxer?

How many of his friends have a science qualification beyond GCSE?

Hea a fucking moron, if he tries to engage on it again just say you've said your piece and I'm getting our child checked regardless. Don't push your feelings about hospitals onto me or our child who has no such issues and hopefully never does.

Your husbands lack of concern in a truly concerning situation and blatant neglectful attitude is frankly quite worrying.

You are both responsible for the health and wellbeing of your child, good for you for doing the right thing. But for your husband to reprimand you for being a good parent, makes him a pretty shitty husband too. I know i would be divorcing his arse for that. And im guessing this isnt the only issue you've had to deal with judging by his ridiculously outlandish views.

It's not often I'm shocked at what is written on mumsnet but my god, this has shocked me to the core.

This man is dangerous. You've also said he's nasty and abusive. You need to leave him and do it as soon as you are able.

Do you have support in real life OP?

Your DP is a dick. Your child is precious. Always trust your gut. Your DP is the one with the issues.

He sounds scared and is projecting, it’s understandable but also a bit unevolved. Cbt might be good for your DH

Can you get an appt for yourself with your GP and alert her to your husband's behaviour? A phone one would do.

And get advice from Women's aid to help you get away

Read her posts

He's abusive

He’s a shit, negligent parent and spouse. You wrote that he is abusive in the way he talks to you, that is abuse and your child is getting old enough to pick up on it. I hope the enlarged lymph node is nothing serious but always take your child to the GP, you are doing the right and responsible thing.

You need to leave this man

He’s abusive, he is against you getting medical care (that in itself is a safeguarding issue)