To ask what ridiculous things people have said to you in pregnancy/parenthood?

[GreeneryGrass]

Baby #2 is due imminently and I'd blissfully forgotten about all the unsolicited comments you receive when pregnant / as a parent of a baby. What are some things you were told or criticised on?

Here's one of my favourites - when a (childless at the time) friend asked how I planned to feed my first baby and I said formula feed (lots of reasons for this, including mental health - very glad I did this), she told me the old chestnut "breast is best", to which I responded "fed is best!" And she disagreed. Then she went on to have a baby, breastfed then stopped quickly after as it damaged her mental health. Has clearly forgotten our chat as she tells every parent we see she's a "huge advocate for feeding your baby how ever you need, fed is best". Glad she's had growth but wish it hadn't been after belittling me!

Her husband did. She was in bits, thinking the excema was her fault.

Reminds me of the pediatrician when I had my dd abroad informing dh if he didn't bathe her after birth before I held her, we would catch aids and die.

Then he called the seconds old baby ' a dirty girl' . The surgeon asked him to leave. Probably before dh punched him.

Oh, some abusive man stopped his car outside my house to come and yell and swear at me cycling home with my children. He said I didn’t deserve to have children.

Yeah I had a version of that with ‘oh well you can always do IVF’.

Stupid things to say.

So mine were ‘are you disappointed you aren’t having a girl! Hell no. Love my boys and didn’t care either way.

’Aren't you worried about your breasts sagging if your breastfeed’. Hell no. Mine look better than a lot of those who bottle fed and physical appearance wasn’t going to be the decider.

After second miscarriage ‘don’t worry you can always have IVF’ like it was that easy and magical.

Why would you want to have VBAC? So much easier that natural birth. 🤦‍♀️

When walking through a shopping centre with little twins in a double buggy, I was almost taken aback if someone didn't say 'double trouble' or 'two for the price of one!'. That never annoyed me though cos I get it, twins are so bloody cute. And I think people say something because they have to justify the fact they have stared at your child for a few seconds and feel awkward.

I'm not going to repeat what two weirdo men said to me.

As a teenager expecting my first baby I was told by virtually everyone, my mother included, that I would find breastfeeding too difficult. I had a horrendous delivery. A terrible tear, huge blood loss & sepsis. They were right. Breastfeeding was extremely difficult but I absolutely had to prove them wrong & I fed my baby for two years.

I’ve had no luck with vaginal deliveries so opted for a C section for my last baby. “Much much harder to recover from” was the constant unsolicited feedback. Especially from one friend who had had one around the time that I had had yet another horrible delivery and wouldn’t accept how unwell I was. C section also didn’t go well but it was infinitely easier to recover from than my vaginal deliveries.

Any sentence that starts "just you wait" to a pregnant woman or new mum needs to get in the bin.

My son was "easy" (well, medium - no colic, medium sleeper etc) but even easy babies aren't easy.

I found that whether I said I was having a good time, a great time, a bad time (all albeit exhausted) certain people would always "just you wait" me.

You're having a nice day/week? FUCK YOU, IT WON'T LAST.

You're having a bad day? FUCK YOU, IT WILL BE WORSE SOON.

And you know what? Literally none of them were true/accurate. The dire things they warned me of didn't happen - yes, difficult phases and challenges keep coming, but not one single thing they doom-prophesied arose.

Not only were they cunts, they were stupid cunts.

My Husband and I have a 5.5 age gap between our children. Just the way it worked out.

Old biddy on a bus - Do they have the same father?

Said to husband whilst on his own in a cafe, bottle feeding youngest - it’s marvellous how you can cope.

Many years have passed and I find it amusing now. Cheeky mares though.

My nan asked me if im sure the baby's father is the baby's father...for no reason...at the dinner table...infront of my parents.

I had a high risk pregnancy and was in hospital from 32 weeks all over Christmas, not allowed off the ward without a midwife escort. I had a c section at 37 weeks followed by a post partum haemmorhage and a 2 night stay in maternity ICU. Back on the ward I had a huge cry one evening and a very kind midwife told me ' you have no reason to cry' 🙄🙄 luckily another more lovely midwife told me it was fine to cry and she had actually hidden in the bathroom to cry after having her little one, so her colleagues wouldn't see 🫤

SIL repeatedly told me my baby bump looked huge, and asked if I was going to go on a "weight management" diet soon. Every time I saw her she'd compare our baby bumps and gesture that I was "out to here".

Mine don't look alike, and I've also been asked do they have the same dad by a random elderly lady. 😅

This is not something I’ve personally experienced as no kids yet, but multiple times I’ve heard people tell parents that they’re making a rod for their own back for simply attending to their babies.

You’re not making a rod for your own back by picking up your newborn when it cries or feeding on demand. They don’t have the capacity to be manipulative. 😳

A female A&E Dr while I was bleeding ‘yes, your cervix is open. Now we just to decide how to remove the product of conception’

That same ‘product of conception’ had a little outfit hanging up at my home and a list of possible names.

I do wish I could speak to that woman again and give her some words of advice 😡

”Did you have her yourself?” ie did I have a section while in the queue for the credit union. Wtaf 🙄🙄🙄🙄

‘At least you know you can get pregnant’ - after miscarrying.

Oh, I've been asked if I know who my daughter's father is by strangers in public! She's black, I'm white. Yes I know. I was there at the time

A midwife once asked me if I had any pets at home as it was a shame my breast milk was going to waste.

My exH is dual heritage. West Indian FIL, Scottish MIL. When I was pregnant with DD1 MIL asked me did I know that I could potentially have a ‘black baby’. I explained that I was aware if the genetic possibilities 🤷🏼‍♀️ she then went on to say ‘don’t worry…we’ll love it anyway’. 😳

Was chatting with a friend about how ridiculously expensive nursery is and how I’ve no idea how we’ll cope when I go back to work. She looked genuinely puzzled and said, “Why don’t you just leave the baby at home and come back on your lunch break to feed her? You live so close! My mum used to leave me alone all the time.”

I had to laugh and tell her — if her mum actually did that, she wouldn’t have survived long enough to suggest it.

Hahahahaa I mean, you have to love how dumb some people are😂 but let's hope she doesn't decide to procreate

Pregnant with twins - are they ivf?

pushing newborn twins- peek in pram, oh are they twins ?

worst one was we were at a park couple of summers ago and we have 5 children. Some lady comes up to me and asks do they all have the same dad!!! Was lost for words 🤣

Ugh poor you. The breast brigade drives me nuts. It works really well for some women but the whole campaign and pressure is damaging to a whole generation of women. Sadly I suspect there are lots of women struggling with parenting and bonding because of this issue alone. I’ve also seen several women persevere when it’s not working to the detriment of their babies who have been underweight and malnourished.

The ‘eating for two’ malarkey and getting food shoved at you annoys the hell out of me, especially in the first and last trimesters when sometimes you really don’t feel hungry at all. Research shows you don’t need to eat any extra (unless you are depriving yourself or underweight or baby is underweight) and that eating for two is a myth and seems like a great way to encourage obesity.