To cut contact with db for this?

[Fatsnowflake]

Name changed as this is very identifying. My brother has always been a nasty character. Aggressive, will deliberately goad people and then shout at them. He’s paranoid and it’s easy to say the wrong thing around him. He’s a trained MMA fighter and physically intimidating. He also hates women and at a family meal he started expressing his support for Andrew Tate. I had to challenge that as my 15 year old ds was there and then he turned verbally abusive, accusing me of being jealous of our other brother and saying how his girlfriend was an excellent mother and a good woman because she’s softly spoken and doesn’t work.
He did apologise for this incident and although I kept him at arms length, I decided to still see him at family occasions to keep the peace, but keep my distance.
Then last weekend I went to a family friend’s party. I didn’t actually know my brother was going to be there but he drove my mum and her friend there. On the journey over he was accusing my mum of looking at a man out of the window!
I brought my lovely friend to the party and I was just ordering a drink at the bar when I realised my friend was chatting to my brother and his girlfriend. My brother’s girlfriend brought up the fact that she wanted to get married and my brother said that all married women cheat. My friend challenged this and said she was happily married. My brother then shouted at her ‘you’re ugly and I bet your husband is too!’
I heard this exchange and was obviously horrified. Everyone is frightened of my brother and so we moved away from him. About 5 minutes later he came storming over and shouted ‘don’t you disrespect me’ and poured a full glass of Prosecco over my friend’s head!
We spoke to the bar staff and got him thrown out and my friend rang the police to log what had happened. We left the party together and I’ve told my mum I never want to see my brother again - weddings, funerals, anything. If he’s there - I can’t be.

It transpired after that for some reason he was allowed back into the party and was calling my mum’s friend a ‘slapper’ because she was having fun and dancing. He clearly hates women. I’m quite shaken and upset for my friend and I’ve told my mum she needs to get away from him too.

Steroids or not he’s an angry abusive misogynist bully and it sounds like no one in your family has ever challenged his behaviour.
And because no one will, all you can do is keep yourself and your family safe by whatever means.

If he’s assaulted a family member, you need to report it to the police and social services.
It’s not your job to prove it but it’s your job to report it. It could save someone’s life.

That's what I thought of as well it may explain his deranged behaviour.
He sounds extremely dangerous!!

Testosterone at its finest. It’s made males so aggressive. It’s call road rage. Creatin and anything like it should be banned across the world. It’s ruined men and makes them extremely aggressive. I don’t get why it’s legal. Also hormones and whatever muscle building substances that they can get their hands on to enhance their appearance. They actually look like man pit bulls with bulging muscles. It’s quite gross and they get scary. Roid rage,not road.

I’m sorry your family are continuing to enable this nasty bully and thereby allowing him to cut you off from them. You absolutely must stand firm. He’s dangerous and you must protect yourself and your own family unit. Hopefully other people will see your example and think that maybe that is an option for them too.

Yes I think the best thing I can do here is set an example and then others might realise they don’t have to put up with it either. He does seem to dislike me in particular- I am a feminist and have very different values, I have challenged him in the past and I work full time and have a very equal marriage.

What a complete cockwomble. I don't know why any family member is inviting him to anything and not saying 'please don't come, you're not welcome as you say ridiculous things about women, shout all the odds and twat around assaulting people and upsetting everyone and it's embarrassing, stay away unless you can get your shit together'. Honestly if everyone tells him what a fool he's makimg of himself, every time, immediately, he'll hear it, big boy or not.

They are frightened. He’s violent and has attacked my mum and stepdad before. He’s a trained fighter. It’s not right - but that’s the situation and unless they are willing to cut him off, that’s it.

That sounds like a sensible approach OP, I do feel for you though 💐

Could you do this for your brothers wedding? Go to the ceremony alone then leabe quickly at the end

He is getting married abroad so I can’t unfortunately.