To think you can drink tap water in a 1st world country!

[Drowninginconfusion]

My OH will not drink tap water and it drives me insane. He just drove 20 minutes home at 10pm because he left half a bottle of water on the side at home and no shops are open and in his words ‘I take my water seriously’

I think the reason it drives me insane is because the reason he won’t drink it is because of the hormones etc in it but yet he has spent his whole life being obese. He goes through intense phases of working out and eating really well and loses weight but ultimately he is still obese and thinks that the one time he got to 17st is some sort of achievement that he needs to tell me about allllllll the time. He drives without a seatbelt on, he took pretty hard drugs as a young man and has always drunk alcohol (although he barely does these things now) I think another reason is that he constantly watches strong men / sports personalities talking about their workouts and nutrition and he insists on telling me about things that I have no interest in and have told him as much - after many years of politely saying ‘ooh interesting’ whilst secretly thinking ‘I bet you weren’t thinking about the processed meats giving you cancer when you ate your McDonalds wrap for breakfast 😡’ or ‘I’m 9 years older than you and manage to get more done in any given day than you do despite the fact that I’m not interested in an ice bath’ I know there’s no link to obesity from tap water but Jesus Christ something has to kill you! I doubt it will be the rusty pipes or hormones in the water! He had the audacity to ask me if I felt comfortable eating a sweetie the other day (not fat shaming me, I’m not fat, more that he wanted to make the point that there were no ingredients on the wrapper, pretty sure there were no ingredients on the sweet and sour chicken from the Chinese that he ate last night either 🤪)

I also know lots of you are going to tell me to get a grip and let him live as he pleases but if you had to listen to him go on and on about it whilst he’s sat there sweating and needing 400 bowel movements a day you would find it a hard pill to swallow.

Do you drink tap water? AIBU to think that in an emergency a bit of tap water isn’t going to kill you!

I live in Scotland and our water is delicious - so yes we drink it.

@Drowninginconfusion the water seems the least of your worries tbh?

If your husband irritates you so much maybe it’s time to call it a day.

I don't know why you're laughing about him and calling your anger 'irrational'. You are streets ahead of him emotionally and intellectually. You could do a lot better @Drowninginconfusion

He should be drinking filtered tap water from a glass, not plastic bottled water - it’s even worse for you. He needs to do do his research.

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He's a twat

Insane to think there are hormones in tap water? Definitely not. To think it’s more ‘dangerous’ than his other food choices. Maybe.

He sounds like my ex's double! You have my full sympathy. He was a great man but became very draining. 18 stone+ overweight body builder, refused to wear seat belt, all for the protein, supplements etc but would then eat a full pack of cakes, sweets, chocolates... always preaching and trained 7 days a week!!! Talked about nothing else. I do understand what it's like. Mental health played a big part which I fully supported and educated myself about. Perhaps there's some underlying issue? He also would not drink direct tap water, only filtered.

He's stupid saying its because of hormones in the water but I can't drink the hard tap water where my parents live because it tastes so foul it makes me feel sick now that I'm used to soft water.

He needs to get himself checked out if this is a recent change in bowel habit OP. And in the meantime tell him the plastic he’s using with all these water bottles will do far more harm than him drinking tap water, and buy him a Brita filter jug and reusable bottle. And some earplugs for yourself !!

Yes, absolutely you can drink tap water in first world countries. Assuming you're in the UK, depending on where you are makes a huge difference to how it tastes.
Your relationship sounds as though neither of you are good for one another. I'd be having a big think about why you're with him, what benefits he brings to your wellbeing and quality of life etc. If you decide to end things with him, it is as simple as saying that you are done and he has until the end of the week to get out. Or be decisive, book him a hotel room and tell him to pack his bags and go. There are all sorts of places to go, spareroomdotcom would be a starting point.
This paragraph comes from recognising a lot of myself in what you're writing. I'm not sure if my lazy alcoholic ex has managed to worm his way into your home. There seems to be a lot like him around! Right now though, you need to look at your own self esteem and self image. Is it positive? Work on being happy with yourself before you jump into another relationship and repeat the cycle.

I think that you’ve worded it better than I ever could tbh. Of course it’s poor that there’s anything in the water that shouldn’t be but of all the things we (most of us and definitely him) choose to do and put in our bodies water isn’t going to be the thing that kills us.

I love that you can see both sides, I’m like that - I’m always trying to see other people points of view, thanks for the response.

Has he got any positives that outweigh all this? If not, why are you with him?

I would refuse to travel in a car with someone who wouldn't wear a seatbelt. If there was an accident or emergency stop, do you realise the damage that his huge body hurtling around unrestrained could do to you?

So he’s endangering your life every time you get in a car with him?

Hahaha I don’t know why this made me laugh!

Thank you everyone! You have restored my faith in Mumsnet. Of course there are deeper issues and they’re as plain as day aren’t they.

I think we’re lucky to have such good quality drinking water here.

We have a holiday home in the US and the tap water there tastes like bleach.

Because his abnormal behaviour has skewed your sense of normality.

I'm kind of with him on the tap water front tbh. Most water companies were found to have had issues with water cleanliness in the past year, and we've all heard of people getting ill from tap water, and also what happened in flint, michigan.
I don't think bottled water is the answer though. I boil the kettle and the water goes into a glass jug when it's cool enough and then it goes in the fridge.

I will admit that my thoughts aren't exactly in line with most peoples- I have ocd and health anxiety which I've had treatment for but some things I'm still working on.

I'd be a little concerned about how he's got here tbh, are there underlying mental health issues? He's obviously interested in being healthier, but can't make the changes he sees as ideal.

Or is he just trying to stick the boot in with you? Because you're managing to maintain better health than him, does he feel like shit and think oh well, you're not perfect, I KNOW better than you?

Because if its the latter, I really think you need a plan to escape this relationship. Even if it isn't today, tomorrow, or next year, please get some legal advice and see how you can start to protect yourself, and your asset and maybe how you can start to extricate yourself from him. He sounds like a nightmare and it seems you are making yourself small around him, to avoid confrontation whilst he just goes about daily life without trying to stop any of it himself.

Have you thought about messing with his head talking about the chemicals from plastic leaching into water?

I drink it straight out of the tap if I am making a cold drink. Only filter for hot drinks.

He's really got this wrong and if he had fewer funny ideas about how to feed/nourish himself he may find it easier not to be obese.

I don’t know if Scotland is First world but tap water is all we drink here……. Not speaking for the whole country. 😛

This. Unpick the laughter you are displaying, to work out why you're doing it. But I suspect you know.

My tap water is not fine. The water here has a bug in it called cryptosporidium. The only way they can make it safe to drink is to put masses of chlorine in it. When you turn on the tap you just smell chlorine. For tea and coffee we just leave the water to stand in a jug for a while. Other than that we drink bottled water.
Your husband clearly has other issues.