To think you can drink tap water in a 1st world country!

[Drowninginconfusion]

My OH will not drink tap water and it drives me insane. He just drove 20 minutes home at 10pm because he left half a bottle of water on the side at home and no shops are open and in his words ‘I take my water seriously’

I think the reason it drives me insane is because the reason he won’t drink it is because of the hormones etc in it but yet he has spent his whole life being obese. He goes through intense phases of working out and eating really well and loses weight but ultimately he is still obese and thinks that the one time he got to 17st is some sort of achievement that he needs to tell me about allllllll the time. He drives without a seatbelt on, he took pretty hard drugs as a young man and has always drunk alcohol (although he barely does these things now) I think another reason is that he constantly watches strong men / sports personalities talking about their workouts and nutrition and he insists on telling me about things that I have no interest in and have told him as much - after many years of politely saying ‘ooh interesting’ whilst secretly thinking ‘I bet you weren’t thinking about the processed meats giving you cancer when you ate your McDonalds wrap for breakfast 😡’ or ‘I’m 9 years older than you and manage to get more done in any given day than you do despite the fact that I’m not interested in an ice bath’ I know there’s no link to obesity from tap water but Jesus Christ something has to kill you! I doubt it will be the rusty pipes or hormones in the water! He had the audacity to ask me if I felt comfortable eating a sweetie the other day (not fat shaming me, I’m not fat, more that he wanted to make the point that there were no ingredients on the wrapper, pretty sure there were no ingredients on the sweet and sour chicken from the Chinese that he ate last night either 🤪)

I also know lots of you are going to tell me to get a grip and let him live as he pleases but if you had to listen to him go on and on about it whilst he’s sat there sweating and needing 400 bowel movements a day you would find it a hard pill to swallow.

Do you drink tap water? AIBU to think that in an emergency a bit of tap water isn’t going to kill you!

I think the tap water is the minor issue here. You seem very frustrated about many issues with your husband. Venting is a step in the right direction towards resolving those issues.
If I were your friend, I'd give you a hug and tell you just to let it all out.

If you weren’t talking about health, why did you say "once in a blue moon won’t kill you"?

You mean you choose not to drink it. Fine, but I'm sure thousands of others in your area don’t find it "disgusting" and do drink it. (Maybe they also worry about the mountains of unnecessary discarded plastic from bottled water.)

Thank you! My sister is good at listening to me vent about it all. We are just decent people really and wouldn’t want him homeless because of course people aren’t all good or all bad are they? Life is more complex than that.

Yes, you can. I have been drinking hard water from the tap for more than half a century and I' m alive and kicking.

Honestly I'd imagine people in my area filter it first as it's almost greasy in your mouth when taken straight from the tap. I agree that you don't need bottled all the time, a filter jug does the job

The Drinking Water Inspectorate:

Where water companies artificially soften water before putting it into supply, it is recommended that they maintain a minimum total hardness of 150 mg/l (as CaCO3 calcium carbonate). This is because there is some limited evidence of a relationship between water hardness and cardiovascular health which may be related to the beneficial properties of magnesium and calcium in the diet.

Hard water may reduce heart attacks, study shows | The Guardian | 2004

Drinking hard water may reduce the risk of people suffering heart attacks, according to new research.

Is hard water dangerous to drink? | McGill University

Millions of people rely on hard water which contains high concentrations of dissolved minerals. Far from being dangerous, these dissolved minerals actually seem to be beneficial for those consuming the water.

Is hard water bad for you? 2 water quality engineers explain the potential benefits and pitfalls that come with having hard water | The Conversation | 2024

Other than aesthetic and water heater concerns, drinking hard water is actually good for you and doesn’t come with any serious adverse side effects.

There’s microplastics in both bottled and tap water. No sense in worrying about tap water when there’s plenty else to worry about!

I don’t know op for peace maybe just don’t discuss it, my dh is much much healthier than me and we’ve both learnt to just accept we’re both different (in this way at least, lots of other problems to deal with🙈😅)

This man is an absolute plum.

I don’t know, it depends. I’ve always lived in a hard water area and prefer the water, but I really don’t know what the water company were about near where my Nan lived. It genuinely was undrinkable - like pool water. We got her a Brita jug.

Don’t be ridiculous- I live in one of the hardest water areas and I’ve drunk it for 43 years - I’m not scaled up inside 😂😂😂😂😂

It's been known for a long time that bottled water from plastic bottles contain micro-plastics. An old BBC article saying just that - News link
He needs to go to the doctor about his bowels, it could be a number of things, including gluten or worse colon cancer.

When I was at college, half a century ago, I had to study the way water was purified where I lived. They wanted a detailed piece about settling tanks and such. What they got was, the water company pumped it up from a deep well in the chalk to the top of the hill, wafted a small amount of chlorine by it, put it in a closed reservoir from which it was gravity fed to the town. I shouldn't think the hormones and the plastics have found their way though the chalk yet. And most of my life, except at college, I've been imbibing hard water, mostly ground water, not recycled stuff. Seem to be doing all right.

Why? Sparkling is awful.

@Oscarbravoromeo Your comment is rude and glib. You suggest that somebody can't share an option unless they have personally undertaken nationwide sampling.

No, I suggest they shouldn't claim to have done extensive research unless they have. Reading articles written by others is not extensive research.

It seems you've done some desk research, but it's pointless to say so without detailing what you found and providing your sources.

Yeah you’re right, this is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I just needed a vent.

I had a holiday in Scotland bought bottled water, didn't have ice in drinks, got very unwell and lady in guest house casualty said lots of guests get ill and she believes it's the water from their taps and she uses it in making tea to go with the breakfast each morning. We were speechless if she knew it was making guests so violently ill why not use bottled water for them and charge a few pounds more.

MsDDxx

They love it! (Hate it personally too!)

When I lived in London, I never drank it because it was disgusting. I’m in the NE now and it’s fine.

He isn't an evil irredeemable human just because you don't want to have a relationship with him. There's another thread running where a woman's partner is so stingy he's saying he should pay less if she eats leftovers or a extra packet of crisps. She appears to be reluctant to leave in case that means she's a gold digger. People (mostly women but not always) do often seem to be reluctant to remove themselves from a bad situation because they feel that staying in it proves they're nice. Respectfully, and as someone who understands the psychology of what he's doing, it's horseshit!

He's an adult. I don't think you've said anything to indicate he is a SAHD or something that means he contributes equally in a non financial way that makes him not financially independent. Clearly the issues run much deeper but you don't have to shackle yourself to this forever just because he'd need to look after himself.

No matter what your tap water is like, your OH sounds insufferable and I wish you luck in sorting your life out, sounds like you will be exponentially happier without him. You sound like a good parent, he less so as he is setting a terrible example to your children. Glad you have your sister on side, it really helps to be able to talk through your problems and let off some steam.

You deserve better than this, you really do. And your kids!

Well, that's total bollocks.

Hard water is perfectly safe to drink, and actually can be better for you because of the extra minerals.

Plus well over half the UK is in a hard or very hard water area. Pretty much all of England actually.

I love it when people come online and spout total garbage. At least do a little google first?

@Drowninginconfusion massive squishes. You and your children deserve better.

you deserve a home without his presence and the atmosphere he brings.

It is sad he can’t go to his family etc but no doubt that is a situation if his own making.

He is an adult and can figure out how to rent his own place.

c’mon OP now is the time to make a plan for freedom. Or face another 5/10/20 years of this as he won’t get better. And as his health worsens and his health conspiracy and dad’s deepen… retirement loom… you’ll end up his carer…

he’s sucking the life out of you.