Punished For Releasing A Frog Back Into The Wild

[BoundaryGirl3939]

I will try explain as best I can.

Two days ago (Friday), my dad brought a wild frog home in a bucket. He was visiting the family holiday house and said he wanted to show the frog to my brother’s five-year-old son when they came to visit. Then my dad left for a few days and left me with the frog...and no clear instructions. He is a disorganised person at the best of times.

The frog had water and a cushion was covering the bucket. The weather has been extremely hot over the past 3 days.

On the first day, I could hear the frog moving around in the bucket but didn't know how to manage it.

On day two, I still heard the odd thump. I was quite busy with my own things and anxious as i didnt know how to deal with it.

This morning it dawned on me that I hadn’t heard anything from the bucket. I started to panic that the frog had died or was very weak. I didn’t want to lift the cushion for fear I’d find a dead frog.

I rang my dad to ask what to do, but he gave me no advice... instead, he became defensive and blamed another relative for not stopping by to feed the frog worms.

So I went to ChatGPT for advice. It told me that the best thing to do would be to release it. Which is what I did...beside a lake. Thankfully it was alive but subdued.

Now father and brother (father of nephew) are angry at me...saying I had “no authority” to let the frog go and that I’ve ruined something for my nephew. My nephew wouldnt arrive until late last night so realistically he wouldn’t have seen the frog until tomorrow. My nephew also rules the roost and gets treats all the time...do it's not as though it was to be a life changing moment for him.

I genuinely didn’t think I was stepping on anyone’s toes. I didn't realise there would be such a fall out.

I've also spent the day tidying the family holiday house for my brother, and went food shopping for him this morning. Thankless.

For context: a fortnight ago, I stood up for myself over a long-standing unhealthy family dynamic that had been stealing my peace. I can’t help but feel that this strong reaction to the frog situation is less about the frog and more about me being “punished” for asserting myself.

Thoughts please?

All of these replies justify my actions. I did the right thing. Although its intimidating, their gaslighting won't work on me. Im going to try keep a distance from them for my own protection. I have it in moreso for my brother as we are not particularly close and he has no right to take my head off. Im withdrawing from him and this shitty dynamic.

Well done for standing up for defenceless nature. Your father acted selfishly and irresponsibly at best, and illegally at worst.

I would make it very clear that the frog was unhappy, it was cruel to take it, and the best thing for nephews would be to go and see them in the wild (and leave them in their own habitats).

if you wanted to broker the peace (not that I think you need to) maybe get one of those nature kits with a microscope for a few quid, and offer to take nephews out to those sites?

It’s not OP’s fault people are brought up these days with no knowledge or understanding of nature or wildlife. Her father committed the offence, and OP showed compassion for the animal, and good sense in finding out what to do for it.

Well done, OP. Your father sounds like a nightmare, and I hope you can soon move away.

I have advice for you

Stop using ChatGTP for advice.

Thsnk you. I did try to explain but my brother wasn't having any of it. Everything i said was reasonable.

I do think its related to something else. That, or his darling son is so precious, that nobody can take anything away from him...no matter how ridiculous the situation is. It's sad we have had this breakdown.

Why? No one else was giving me advice.

yes—that was extreme animal cruelty. You absolutely did the right thing. i hope the frog makes it.

Thank you 🙏

Well I followed chat gpt's advice to leave it by a marshy/ grassy area close to water. They could enter water if they liked, or regain their strength. I really hope he is ok too.

Your dad is a cruel, selfish man. That is a living creature, not a toy.
Edited as I was probably a bot harsh on upu but please in future release any poor creature immediately.

Did you actually ask anyone outside your dad?

Or maybe even just... use your brain and think "this is a living creature being kept in this unsuitable place"?

Or even Google it and do some research

Poor frog. You left it in a hot bucket with no food for a few days before it dawned on you to actually do something? You knew it was in there ffs.

Your dad is cruel. Keeping a wild animal in a bucket for days so they could show the nephew is really bizarre. I wouldn’t have waited I would have released it sooner but I understand these family dynamics which is why I’ve been no contact with mine for a year now. Sorry you have to live with these people.

What the difference between asking someone besides my dad, or Google and chatgpt? My explained my thought processes and reasons in the above postings already.

Because asking people or Googling and doing some research involve a human brain and doing some actual figuring out and thinking

Using ChatGTP uses a computer brain and AI bias. So if it thought you wanted to keep the frog it would give you advice on how to keep a pet frog

Stop letting AI think for you

Yes. It has really shown up the height of toxicity in my family. Im shaken and feeling so bullied.

Given what you've said/implied your dad & brother aren't particularly pleasant to you so I'm not surprised that you dithered on what to do. But you did do the right thing in the end even knowing you were going to get shit for it - that's brave imo

Fwiw - appalling behaviour on their parts & you definitely need to find a way to assert yourself better.

Well the posts here told me I should have let it go so I was right in feeling really uneasy about it all. Chat gpt confirmed that for me, and told me how best to do it within a few seconds. I don't have time to be going around in circles...phoning people, googling different articles etc. I wanted to know what to do then, and it answered it promptly.

Im not discussing this anymore.

YABU for being such a wet dishcloth.

FFS you should have released the poor frog as soon as you could. Being too afraid to look inside? You're just as culpable as your father. Saying you weren't left with instructions and it had nothing to do with you is utterly pathetic. The fact you sat there for three days letting it suffer makes you just as bad.

Your dad and brother sound entitled, cruel and a pair of bullies and they'll turn your nephew into the same by the sounds of it. Leave and never look back from this toxic family.

Also, you did the right thing to release the frog. The audacity your dad had to do this in the first place amazes me. It's a living creature not a toy, who does he think he is?

Very easy for you to say.

It's brought the intimidation and scape-goating that exists in this family to the surface. But I can't see them admitting to their faults anytime soon.

I have nowhere to go right now so im just going to have to distance myself.

You did the right thing op. Posting here you'll get some nasty responses but at the end of the day you did what was right.
Hopefully the frog hopped it.

So your dad goes to great lengths to teach nephew some sort of lessons about wildlife yet his own daughter doesn't know much at all about frogs.
For a start, all frogs are wild.
OP the right thing to do was to release it and it's good you looked for advice online. You live and learn.
As a rule no wildlife should be captured and kept unless injured and you seek veterinary help or you know how to treat it yourself.
Your dad is cruel and is actually teaching the nephew that it's ok to be cruel.
Your takeaway from this episode OP is to believe in yourself, you did the right thing eventually. Don't take that long next time, stop being hesitant. You know right from wrong!

You sound very frightened indeed of your father and he sounds like a vile bully. You did the right thing about releasing the frog and you don’t have to tolerate your horrible father at all. You are not a child anymore and he has absolutely no right to be so vile.