To wear my hair long at 40

[BreatheitAllIn]

I'm sick of hearing what society deems as unacceptable after turning 40. I will cut my hair when I damn well please. Why do they get to decide? Does society tell men what they shouldn't do?

Recommendations for natural shampoos that reduce hair loss, aid hair growth, and aren't too expensive would be appreciated! I'm noticing my usual shampoos like L'Oréal Elvive etc are making my hair look flat, and not as much volume.

I had short hair briefly when I was in my 30s. I found it aging and it didn't suit me. Wear it shoulder length and I'm 60. I don't have much grey, I have a few highlights through it to warm it up

I've just turned 40 but have very short hair and have done since I was 16. It suits me, I like it and I stand out from everybody else. I'm not hiding my lovely face (even with the additional laughter lines) which makes me feel confident and a little bit sexy and rebellious, especially now it's almost entirely silver. Wear your own hair how you like. Nobody else cares.

I’m 54 and my hair is way past my waist. It does need a good cut to tbh but I can’t be bothered so I just chuck it in a bun

I use nizoral soothing for itchy scalp and it really sorts it for me.

I've had various lengths from v short to down my back. I'm now mid 40s and looking back long suits me best so I'm sticking with it!

Why do you need to “get away with” your own natural hair, exactly? Do you think women exist to look a particular level of pleasing to others ?

I wonder if its a generational thing?

My mother (then in her early 60's) went on at me not long after my 40th that it was time I got my hair cut. That I shouldnt have long hair at that age. It looks silly on "older" women....bear in mind I had a 2 year old at the time, hardly ancient!

Well I think she finally gave up during covid when I dyed my (half way down my back) hair bright pink.

I am now 52, hair is still very long and only no longer pink as I couldnt be arsed with the up keep!

My mum is 67 and keeps her hair at just below collar bone. It is easy to blow dry or air dry, will go up in a big claw clip or elastic, it’s fine. She looks nice. Don’t let people put you off!

I cannot recommend any shampoos as I have short hair.
However the only thing you should not wear is the weight of other people’s opinions or expectations on your preferred hair style/length. Ditto with clothes.

You sound brilliant to me.

You say you keep seeing ads OP - it sounds like targeted marketing.

It could be that your phone “listens” to conversations you’re having, picks up keywords from searches or online activity, or the app has access to your personal data, such as your date of birth.

I haven’t seen any of the ads you describe but I get a ton of weight loss stuff and recently a lot of ads for “women over 50” - I turn 50 this autumn.

Do whatever you need to so that you’re happy with your hair. But don’t pay any attention to the ads - they’re not real in any meaningful way and have been targeted to get you to click.

I’m 69 and grey, I much prefer my hair long a) so I can twist and clip it up off my neck, and b) so it doesn’t need cutting so often. I had a pixie cut about 8 years ago and while it was quicker to dry (I don’t blow dry), it needed much more frequent trims and I hated it tickling my neck.

Nearly 50 and hair down to my waist. I braid it most days. Best condition its been in as use hair oil

I’m 40 and no has suggested I cut my hair.

Has anyone in real life actually said anything?

Online they are trying to get you to buy products and if you don't think there is a problem they can't sell you the products to "solve" it. Old marketing trick. No need to be affected by this at all.

But has anyone in real life said this to you yet?

I'm 50, my hair is grey, and I am no model. It is long, past my shoulders.I have my hairdresser bung some 'ashy' highlights in every 2-3 months. I don't give a shiny shite about how I am 'supposed' to look at 50. If you want short hair, have short hair because you want it, not because of some arbitrary standards. My lovely Mum is in her 70s with shoulder length grey hair and also cares not.
I take Viviscal and have done for years; it's helped with growth and overall condition. I don't use a particular shampoo for hair health or any specific applications, the supplements do the heavy lifting.

My DM, who would have been 80+ now held the opinion that 'older' women shouldn't have long hair. She had never had it longer than shoulder, even when she was young, and had the same style from when she was late 30s - short, layered and permed. I remember her commenting about ladies i worked with - they would have been in the early 50s - that their hair was "far too long for their age" 😬🙄 I didn't get it. Their hair was in good condition and well looked after. I had mine cut into a long bob age 47, just because it was annoying me at shoulder length and I fancied a change. DM died 15 years ago, but I know she would have gone on and on at me to have it cut "sensibly" from age 40.

If you like it and it looks good, enjoy it OP. I find the Umberto Gianini shampoos good. Always used Elvive til they changed it and then it was crap

The vast majority of 40yr olds I know have long hair. I can’t actually think of any I know personally with hair above shoulder length, I’m sure there’s a couple though. So I think this must be a very, very outdated idea.

You look 40, OP, because you are 40!

Thank you, I will give this a try. My roots are seeming to be greasy, and ends dry and scap itchy!

This is not 1950. I am 59 and I have long hair. I used to have a fringe, but grew that out as I felt it was a bit dated. I put my hair up for work, but wear it down for going out. It looks a bit like Koo Stark's hair.

I do have one or two colleagues the same age as me who have short hair, and I think it's aging and dated. Another colleague has delightfully witchy long hair which has gone white in two streaks - fabulous in my opinion.

I use Head and Shoulders shampoo to keep my hair white, and Tigi Queen for a Day thickening spray to give it a bit of lift at the front.

Faith in Nature are a fairly cheap chemical free brand. I'm always getting compliments on how shiny my hair is. The combination that works best for me is the rose shampoo and the coconut conditioner. The shampoo is very calming and the conditioner makes it shiny. My hair is waist length and I only condition up to my shoulders, otherwise it gets a bit flat and greasy.
I'm 60.

Haha, I'm definately looking in my 30s now that's for sure, wouldn't pass for 20 odd anymore!

My scalp feels hotter for some reason and itchy!

I had my elbow length hair cut to a chin length bob at 25 , because my ex h convinced me I was too old for long hair .. the hairdresser cried! My oldest DD 54 has long hair,I'm now pushing 75, and it's shoulder length,both my girls absolutely hated my hair short. I disagree about only a model can get away with long grey hair. Met a lady yesterday walking our dogs, she was well into her 60s, with very long,thick slightly wavy grey and black hair,it was fabulous.

i appear not to have got this memo!! I’m 42 and have hair which goes down to my waist. It takes a little more effort to maintain good condition, but it’s not hard. I use olaplex when I wash my hair, but I only wash it every 4-5 days. I do fortnightly hair masks, as my hair is fine. I also dry it on a low temperature but will only straighten it for special occasions, as it blowdrys pretty straight. I’m also really careful about how I style it- I don't put hair ties in the last 4 inches of hair, as whenever I have done, the hair dresser has to cut so much more off.

I'm 70 with long hair. Nobody has ever suggested I get it cut and I don't use any special shampoos. I think the OP has been paying too much attention to click bait adverts.

Head and shoulders is not agreeing with me anymore. I definately need a new shampoo that's for sure!

I have flat greasy roots that need a lift.