To wear my hair long at 40

[BreatheitAllIn]

I'm sick of hearing what society deems as unacceptable after turning 40. I will cut my hair when I damn well please. Why do they get to decide? Does society tell men what they shouldn't do?

Recommendations for natural shampoos that reduce hair loss, aid hair growth, and aren't too expensive would be appreciated! I'm noticing my usual shampoos like L'Oréal Elvive etc are making my hair look flat, and not as much volume.

I don't think short hair is a choice for alot of older ladies though. It's just menopause can really make your hair abit shit looking so shorter is often easier to manage.

I'm currently growing mine out of a bob though as HRT and collagen has improved it quite alot.
If I had lovely thick, healthy looking hair I'd probably never cut it, regardless of age!

I have found sulphate free shampoos to be excellent for my hair. Sodium laureth sulphate is a lathering agent, it’s drying (which may not be a problem if you have greasy hair, but mine is on the dry side of normal), and strips colour. My colour is noticeably longer lasting since I’ve started using SLS free shampoo and conditioner ( Ogx) and lovely and soft and shiny.

Have you? It was awful for mine. I tried it for a year. We'd just moved when I started. I thought the problem was the hard water. My hair was limp, greasy, and I had a sore scalp. I tried double-washing, spent ages in the shower rinsing in case I wasn't rinsing enough, couldn't get rid of the stickiness. Went from washing once a week to every other day. Grey scum on my scalp.

After a year of frustration, I went back to sulphates. Problem solved. I tried it to help with frizz. I'd rather have frizz...

I live in a soft water area, perhaps that helps.

I had the triple whammy of methotrexate, menopause and a massive flare of my auotimmune disorder and my hair never grew back 😞I had always hoped for long witchy hair but Im nearly 60 and still dont have a single grey hair

Have you been speaking to my mum?

Other things which have an age limit include nail polish, jeans (definitely not after about 45), trainers.

Oh your mum would love me 😂 55, sat here with boob length hair in jeans and trainers

my 79 year old mum lives in jeans and trainers

obviously a family of slatterns 😂

Not at all. I find women usually dress for themselves and other women rather than for men. I meant the amount of time spent finding suitable shampoos, conditioners, oils, masks and other products. Then all the styling and continuous fussing with it throughout the day. Everyone I know with long hair (which happens to be every woman I know) takes forever to get ready. When they make me wait (an hour!) I think I'm allowed to tell them they're needy. Wear your hair how you like, it's not as if any style is superior, not all styles suit all people and we don’t all have the same tastes. But 'society' is hardly forcing short hair on anyone. The OP is very much in the majority. Of course, if there have been cases of forced hair chopping on a woman's fortieth birthday which I've missed then I'll gladly join the protest to put an end to that injustice.

I don't do any of that @jinxyminxy , which is probably why I didn't understand that hair can be needy.
Two bottles of Faith in Nature shampoo and a wide toothed comb is all I use, there is nothing else in my hair care regime.
Perhaps I'm unusually low maintenance, I don't know. I'm surrounded by short haired women, the only other one I know with long hair is also a wash & go type.
Clearly we move in very different circles.

Same. Mine is naturally straight. It gets combed. I get lots of compliments about my hair.
I was putting it up in a loose bun last year but that took minutes.

I have long hair over 60. It is coloured. People really do come up to me and tell me I have great hair. Admittedly, to get an appointment with the person who does my hair I have to book a year's worth of appointments in January or I'd miss out. I always had oily skin and my hair isn't dry. All the rich conditioning shampoos and conditioners make it look lank and flat. I wash it every second day instead of every day and I'm not particularly brand loyal but I do tend to focus on brands which describe themselves as lightweight. I never buy salon products.

I think diet is really important and almost everything is cooked from scratch with vegetables. When I was low in iron though my hair looked sad so that's something to keep an eye on. If my hair does end up overconditioned, I give it a rinse with 1 teaspoon of white vinegar in a measuring jug of water and then rinse some more in plain water. I don't do this often. I only put conditioner on the ends and midlengths and I comb it through in the shower. It gets a monthly protein pack. I wouldn't dream of ladling olive on it after an extremely unfortunate teenage effort with baby oil.

I started using Plantur 39 shampoo and conditioner a few months ago and seeing lots of new hair growth. I’ve also just started taking Biotin

My mum cut her hair short at forty. I loved her longer hair it really suited her. She did say long hair is for younger women. I’m now 46 and my hair is long, I would never change it.

My DM (in her 80s) has been telling me since I was 30 (so over 20 years now) that women shouldn’t have long hair past the age of 30 (!) as it’s ’ridiculous’.
She was horrified recently at Kate M’s wavy hair !
It must be a generational idea!
During Covid she volunteered to trim my long hair (you can see where this is going!) she started at the back and cut about 6 inches off - so it went from mid back length to a longish bob
It has grown back now!

Yes, I do think it may have been the combination.

I am 36 and have always had long hair, I only cut it when my babies were born to help keep it cleaner but other than that I grow it long, that's how I've always liked it, I will likely have long hair when I'm 80 😂

Obviously I can't speak for the women you know, but I find long hair involves way less maintenance. My hair grows quickly. When I have had it short, I need to be at the hairdresser's every month. It needs styling because it's wavy and won't lie flat. If it's bob length I have to straighten it or it just looks like a big bushy triangle.

Maybe people with lovely straight silky hair can easily wear it short. That isn't me. All I have to do with it long is comb it and put it up if I want. It takes a fraction of the time a shorter style would, added to that as I don't have the face for short hair, I'd be faffing with makeup to make me look a little less 'butch'.

In my opinion I am too old and too plain to get away with short hair.

I wear my hair in a chin length bob, yes it does need a trim every five or six weeks, but in terms of daily maintenance, I wash and blow dry it once a week and on non wash days it just needs a comb.

I never heard that!

Likewise @ObelixtheGaul I'm finding it difficult to grasp what all this "styling" long haired women are doing that can take an hour to get ready actually is. There is nothing I could physically do with my length of hair that would take an hour. It's either combed and left loose, or 5 minutes for a plait or a bun.

Short hair seems far more high maintenance.

I also don't recognise the "everybody" has long hair. When I look around at the 40-60 age group in my area, or at friends and cousins, it's 95% short or shoulder length hair.

Are we at cross purposes? Do short haired women classify shoulder length hair as long?

I very rarely see women under 80 with short hair where I live. All my friends except me have long hair. It’s short hair that stands out from the crowd.

Are we at cross purposes? Do short haired women classify shoulder length hair as long?

Long haired women tend to classify anything above shoulder length as short ime. To me short equals a pixie cut or crop.

I know what I classify as short, but what do you classify as long?

To me, long is bra strap level.

I am 71 and growing my hair long. Partly because I deeply resent the "old women should have short hair" belief. Down to my shoulders now. It's naturally gone white, and I use a blonde rinse on it as the plain white is a bit draining.

I’ve never heard that you should have short hair after 40. I think many older women choose to because hair tends to thin with age, and short hair looks thicker than longer hair.