To wear my hair long at 40

[BreatheitAllIn]

I'm sick of hearing what society deems as unacceptable after turning 40. I will cut my hair when I damn well please. Why do they get to decide? Does society tell men what they shouldn't do?

Recommendations for natural shampoos that reduce hair loss, aid hair growth, and aren't too expensive would be appreciated! I'm noticing my usual shampoos like L'Oréal Elvive etc are making my hair look flat, and not as much volume.

I'm surprised to read this in 2025. I wanted to read articles that were very positive about having short hair in my forties a few years ago. It didn't seem to matter what I searched, there were a comfortable 90-95% of articles saying 'short hair in middle age is a thing of the past' etc. I'd argue that it's almost counter cultural these last fifteen years for women to go short after 40 (although short hair rocks at any age). It almost feels obligatory to have it longer, and I certainly felt a real awareness that there weren't a significant amount of pro short as you get older articles to balance out the 'we women can keep our long hair' articles.

Of course - long ‘air, don’t care!

Absolutely agree with you, but that's very much my experience of hairdressers and online writing this last at least 15 years. I say this as a lover of very short hair on women🔥

I agree with you both about short hair making you look younger than your age (although my case, this effect is enhanced by my being obese, so my fat face looks unwrinkled and therefore younger).

I'm 49 with long hair, it is full and thick with only a tiny bit of grey. I love long hair, would never cut it for some societal pressure. Keep your hair how you want it.

Yes, well, 60 is well over 40! And nobody mentioned the hair had to be naturally long, so I don’t quite get either of your points. Both women look great!

I suppose we're just more likely to notice things that go against the grain to us personally. If you're pro short hair you only notice the long hair positivity and vice versa. Certainly on YouTube the pressure is piled on to cut your hair after 40, mostly by American stylists. For some of us, that isn't exactly the look we aspire to - I'm not ready to be referred to as a senior, but at the same time, my reasons for keeping my hair long have nothing to do with wanting to hang onto my youth.

Even here it is very noticeable that the pro short hair comments are written in a different language, talking about "rockin' " their style and how short hair makes you look younger while long is unflattering. Really it's all nonsense. I'm told I look much younger than my age, but it's meaningless; people can say anything but it doesn't make it true.

I agree, tbh. I had a long ish bob a few years ago and I loved it, never occurred to me I may have looked older. In fact, a few people said I looked more 'put together'. Mine is long now but 9/10 its up in a messy bun because having it hanging irritates me. I think I'll go for the chop

I chopped my lovely long thick blond hair off aged 39 in prep for my 40s and it was the dumbest hair mistake I ever made. I spent years regretting it - I'm 61 now and my hair is long again but I have no grey at all and it's in good condition - it's naturally light brown and I have just a few highlights to lift it every now and again. I love it.

I alternate between tresemme volume or moisture and aldi’s version of L’Oréal colour protect. I always conditioner and leave it on for a few minutes before rinsing (however long it takes to wash and shave legs etc). I only curl/straights if I’m going out out. But do swear by my Dyson hairdryer.

You're 40 not 80.

And at 80 or 90 if you want long hair go for it!

I won’t be cutting mine any shorter once I pass 40, why would I? I hate short hair on women, and don’t want it myself. Great way to make yourself look even older.

I’m curious about this too. How can a hairstyle be needy? 🤔

I had a very short pixie cut in my 20s and it was the neediest hairstyle I've ever had in terms of needing regular trims. And because my hair is thick, wavy and grows fast when it started to grow out I had to spend ages styling it, far longer than just being able to tie back long hair!

Plus I was very light and slender then and it looked cute, though even then I was mistaken for a boy a couple of times. I fear that these days the effect would be more Big Mo Eastenders than I would like, or if I got that thin again, wizened elf.

I think they mean needy as in try hard

I suspect needy is the new version of "you only have long hair to please men".

I do remember it being said that cutting your hair short means you’ve “given up”.

I do remember it being said that cutting your hair short means you’ve “given up”

People say lots of daft shit. It doesn't mean its true.

Women, including me , cut their hair for many reasons, even when over 40 such as convience, fashion, a change, to suit a changing lifestyle, to suit any changes in hair eg thickness, texture.
I got mine cut to shoulder length last year because it was beginning to look like rats tails between hair appointments. I love my long bob but might grow it for a bit.
Why not? I can do what I like with my own hair.

Why does anyone even care what someone may have said at some point?

Haven't read the whole thread.

Caffeine shampoos are supposed to reduce hair loss, but your mileage may vary.

I'm over 40 and just had a short haircut, but that was from choice and wanting a change, no doubt when I want it long again I shall grow it and stuff what anyone else thinks!

I have short chin length hair myself and love it. I think having hair that looks like it has regular professional attention is the opposite of ‘giving up”.

I always remember my Dad telling me when I turned 30 that I would have to get my hair cut short and have a nice perm like my Mum. Needless to say I ignored him, and I'm now 67 with waist length hair that I always wear loose. I can't imagine ever cutting it. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my biggest fear wasn't the prospect of a 10 hour operation or follow up treatment, but losing my hair, and I felt SO incredibly lucky when I was told I didn't need chemotherapy.

I had short hair in my late teens (bloody posh spice and her elfin cut that looked ghastly on me 😂). My hair will always be long since that disaster!!

Vivascal supplements are great!!

I have short chin length hair myself and love it. I think having hair that looks like it has regular professional attention is the opposite of ‘giving up”.

I agree. I had mine chin length and it looks good on me as well. I like mixing it up. My hairdresser says I like to keep her guessing.
I think both long and short hair need regular attention to look good consistently.

Am in my 60s with long hair well almost to my waist now, started growing it during Covid and haven’t stopped

in fact it’s quite wavy when I do it properly and I like it and don’t care what anyone else thinks

I don’t think “society” has thought this way for at least a generation