To not lend my new car to step daughter and son

[Leo125]

Recently parents bought me a new car lovely little suv paid alot if money, all of a sudden my step daughter wants to speak to me after months of I don't want to play happy family's with you, don't want you to spend time with me and couldn't come up with a reason as to why apparently I have done nothing but just wants to spend time with her dad, absolutely support this and he regularly sees her alone and does activities of her choice all good!

Now all of a sudden she wants to reach out, I'm thinking this is because I have a smaller little runner of a car often comment how she likes it give it to me blah blah, I want to keep it and have no intension of giving it away worth at least 2k and I arnt in a position to afford to do that regardless
Fast forward to point in hand she's now asking dad to go on insurance and take it on a trip a long way they have already planned I have sod blatantly no even with insurance costs which I may add I'd or we would prob be expected to pay they would want to use alot at a guess and I don't want it tbh both young drivers am I just been mean or should I not back down to dp

What did your DP drive before you got your new suv?

tell your dh its your car, you have no intention of letting his daughter use it. End of.

Absolutely no, no, and no again.

She is being an entitled, grabby, CF. 😡

I have witnessed friends lending cars as a favour and it did not end well.

all of a sudden my step daughter wants to speak to me after months of I don't want to play happy family's with you, don't want you to spend time with me

I'd be reminding her of all the things she's said and ask why she suddenly wants to talk to you now. Ask her what's changed. Watch her squirm while she tries to come up with an answer that isn't 'because you've got a new car that I want to drive'.

What's DH's take on this? Is he applying pressure too? Either way say no and keep saying no.

Answer is no.

If DP fails to understand that then remove him from insurance. He gets the old car.

Dont be a doormat. No is a complete sentence.

Just say no.

For me it’s not even about the attitude but I wouldn’t let anyone borrow my new car.

If DP is feeling guilty then let them borrow the older car.

I also don’t understand why DP is using the SUV which is your car that your parents bought you.

When my DF died, I was in my late twenties; DM wanted to hang on to his car, although she couldn't drive (hence the understandable naivety about expenses) so that people could ferry her about. Not logical, I know, most folk are more comfortable with their own vehicles, but she was still in the early stages of bereavement and I wasn't going to argue.....I knew what was coming as a couple of months passed.
To be parked on the street (no garage) it obviously had to be taxed and insured, and she suggested adding it to my policy.
My late DF, like you I guess, had a long, blameless driving history, and his premium reflected this. I, on the other hand, like your SD I would further guess, had not been driving all that long; I only passed my test in mid-twenties, and my much higher premium likewise reflected this. A few tears, reality faced, DF's car sold.
If DH is wavering with making the "generous gesture" (at your expense), you might like to do a bit of research, getting quotes etc. If he no longer drives himself, being disabled, he may have lost touch with rising insurance costs, and it strengthens the point you are making.

Absolutely not. Regardless of your relationship with your SD, it’s your car, your decision who drives it.
She is being very entitled to think she could be on the insurance anyway, let alone take it on a trip!
I very much hope your DH has also told her that it’s absolutely not happening

Buy a steering wheel lock that only you have the key for, at least that way no one can ‘misunderstand’ the answer was no and take it anyway.

The answer is “hell no - stop asking- it’s nothing to do with your dad”

Is DH going on this long trip with his daughter? Is he eligible for a Motability car?

if so - he gets one, puts his daughter on the insurance, problem solved. Then you can sell your little runaround and use your SUV for all the time - which I imagined is what your parents had in their mind when they bought it for you.

On the financial side - married couples do have an obligation to support one another. That’s part of what marriage is about. But you have zero obligation to financially support your husband’s adult children. Not even a moral one, IMO. If she was a lovely girl who had always been pleasant and engaged with you, you might want to do it. But that’s not the case, is it?

Don’t you dare let her drive it, I would also be telling partner if he puts her on the insurance he is out! They are both taking the actual px#@ & you’re letting them.

😂😂 I sea what ewe did their!

Tell her to hire a car for her trip away.
And sell the ‘spare’ one.

Just say NO, you don't need to give reasons to her or to your partner. It is your car and you pay the bills. He can buy his own car if he wants her to drive it.

Presumably you are the registered owner/keeper of the new SUV and insurance is in your name with husband as named driver?

Its a good word and its no. she could only drive while on the insurance and with owner's permission as and when you give it.

You are entitled to have as many cars as you want as well as refusing her chancing her luck trying to borrow one!

I would say no and give the reason why but if her dad is trying to force it then look at him in all innocence’s and say it’s because you’d never forgive yourself if she has an accident in it.

If you need two card then you don't have a car available anyway for her to take away on a long trip do you?!

Absolutely not.
She's a cheeky fxxker.
Tell her father no and if he mentions it you should rethink thd relationship.
Is he a cheeky fxxker too?
What exactly are you getting out of this relationship?
Its clear what he's getting out of it.

I'd be taking my new car to work. Leave the old one for DH. It'll take away any temptation to loan it to her.

But then I've got a suspicious mind.

Cheeky mare. Your husband may decide against adding her to the insurance when he sees the additional premium. Your new car is yours, yours to decide who drives it, not your husband's choice and certainly not his daughter's choice. Similarly with your older, smaller car. If you need to keep both cars then she will try to get access to that vehicle. Decide if that is an option for you but SHE should pay the extra insurance premium. I would also suggest getting one of those insurance black boxes installed in the car so she has to drive carefully or risk being barred. If it was me she wouldn't be getting near either of my cars.

This makes no sense. Why does your DH not working due to disability mean that you need two cars? Does he have his own car? You say you support both of you. If he’s disabled enough to not be able to work, then he’s entitled to quite a lot of benefit from PIP and whatever incapacity benefit has been rebranded as these days. Are you his carer?

That’s all completely irrelevant to the actual questIon though. Your DSD is a rude grabby brat. Just tell her no. Is your DH pandering for her? I’m wondering if he’s using his benefit to subsidise her thus meaning you have to pay more to help him, which means that it’s you working to subsidise her. The whole situation seems to be a particularly bad deal for you.

I think you should start taking the SUV to
work and leave the older car to DH, just in case they decide use the car whilst you’re at work.

I don't understand why you don't just say no?!

Not a cats chance in hell would the 25yo adults be borrowing my new SUV.

However if your DP is disabled and needs a car does he get PIP? He could get himself one leased through motability and you sell the old one. His DD can then drive his car if they are together and get her mitts off your new one!