To not lend my new car to step daughter and son

[Leo125]

Recently parents bought me a new car lovely little suv paid alot if money, all of a sudden my step daughter wants to speak to me after months of I don't want to play happy family's with you, don't want you to spend time with me and couldn't come up with a reason as to why apparently I have done nothing but just wants to spend time with her dad, absolutely support this and he regularly sees her alone and does activities of her choice all good!

Now all of a sudden she wants to reach out, I'm thinking this is because I have a smaller little runner of a car often comment how she likes it give it to me blah blah, I want to keep it and have no intension of giving it away worth at least 2k and I arnt in a position to afford to do that regardless
Fast forward to point in hand she's now asking dad to go on insurance and take it on a trip a long way they have already planned I have sod blatantly no even with insurance costs which I may add I'd or we would prob be expected to pay they would want to use alot at a guess and I don't want it tbh both young drivers am I just been mean or should I not back down to dp

Just sell your old one?

It would be the nice thing to do to give her the car, OP.

only joking, she can get to fuck

I'm finding your posts a bit hard to follow but I think the position is:
You had/have a little runaround car which you need to keep because it's accessible for your partner.
Your parents now bought you an suv as well.
Your stepdaughter wants to borrow the suv and justifies it by saying you've got another car (the runaround) to use.
There is also a son (or stepson?) who may be making similar requests but that isn't clear.
The SD and son have their own cars but like the idea of taking trips in the suv.
They also expect you to stump up the insurance.

Hell, no!

Well of course they're not borrowing it, especially if they have their own.

I don't understand the bit about needing two cars because your DH is disabled. So is he now driving your old car? What did he do before you got your new car?

One word - No. End of conversation.

Why on earth would you feel bad about saying no?

Keep the spare key with a mate. And keep your keys with you always.

Im confused!
Did your DHs parents buy the car? Did they say it’s YOUR car as opposed to a family car? Who pays the insurance and who drives it?

Struggling to follow but if I am reading correctly:

• New SUV that parents bought you, that both you and dp drive
• 2nd car (your old car), which you take to work so dp has use of SUV whilst you are at work
• SD wants to be able to drive suv and take on long trips

YANBU to say No, it’s a gift from your parents and you want to look after it and keep the mileage down

Absolutely not. You'd be a fool to risk your car with them, and they don't deserve it anyway.

You say no once. That's it.

Just keep saying no. Remind her if she asks directly that she'd told you she wasn't interested in a relationship with you so you've taken that on board. Judge your husband by his response to all this. You've known him for four years and his daughter hasn't been civil to you in that time. If he thinks you should cave in, send him on his way.

Say no, and make it clear you'd report the car stolen should they try to get added/take the car via your partner.

Bigger issue, but if they treat you like this and your partner enables it (for example, but trying to persuade you to lend the car) are you happy in this relationship?

Exactly correct x

So why isn't your DP driving the old car? Why aren't you driving your new car to work? Surely your parents bought you a car for you to drive?

Your DP can then just drive the old car, and insure his kids on that?

Thanks for explaining. It sounds like SD acts like the suv is her dad's car (because it's the one he uses). But in fact it's owned and insured by you, right? So you can just make that clear and say no. Pestering her dad is pointless.

Is it right (from your first post) that she has also tried to get you to "give" her the older car? What a madam!

I can’t follow your post, but was £2k a typo..?

SD sounds like a brat. She is old enough to pay for her own car.

Yes I am wondering that too. What did partner drive before the suv if he also needs a car and you took your old one to work?

Not a snowballs chance in hell would I be lending it to grabby sd. She can use her own car. Little madam.

So she wants to use the new car, not the old one?!! Wow she really is entitled.

Don't let her use either. Even just for the fact that she can't even ask you directly, and expects your partner to give her use of a car he doesn't even own.

I wouldn't let DP use your new SUV. Then he has a key which he could give to his DD.

I second this.

Dump the users and get on with your life.

So if ive got this right- you own two cars - you don’t need a big SUV, you just need a cheap run around for work. Your DO owns no cars and can’t drive your cheap small car but can drive your expensive SUV.

Because of this, you are taking the small car to work and your DP has taken over your new expensive car. His daughter is now trying to get added on the insurance as both view this as his car, not yours.

Why doesn’t your DP have their own car? Given they are also acting like your car is theirs, I’d be selling the small car, taking the suv to work.

Your partner should use his own car, or your old one. You should be using the new SUV and the SD and son need to go out to work and pay for their own cars and insurance.