Making another go of our relationship with an alcoholic

[P0p]

Me and my partner having another go of our relationship we have a two year old son together too. My partner is an alcoholic but since we trying to give it ago he’s been good not drinking too much and being horrible with me we did have a argument on the 1st of July but it’s been two weeks and we’ve not had another one which is a good thing for me as we did it all the time. He is making more of an effort with our son but still making comments with me or trying to comment about my parenting but yet he just naps all day and leaves me to it to look after our son which that’s not changed since I came back to give it ago. I’m worried it won’t last long and that he will start being controlling and drinking again feel like he’s putting a front on. Has anyone been in a similar situation and been with an alcoholic? How long does the nice man last?

It’s not worth it. My partner is an alcoholic but he’s in AA, 3 years sober and nothing interferes with his AA meetings, he goes a minimum of 3 times a week and more if he needs to. I would never ask him to go for a meal or something instead of a meeting, it’s sacrosanct

I’m happy your partner is going for help that just shows how much he wants to do better for you and himself which is the main thing and I really hope he keeps getting the help he deserves. I wish mine was like that but obviously the drink means more and I need to get out for good this time for my son sake x

You leave him and any letters ex sends you, rip up or burn them, unread. He just trying to hook you in with promises, he won’t keep. The letters are just full of manipulation and lies, he’s just telling you what he thinks you want to hear.
You and your son will have a stable, happy and loving home together IF you leave your ex. You and your son deserve better than enduring a shitty existence with an alcoholic.x

You were very naive and trusting to go back, chalk it up as lesson learned and get out. You obviously love and care for your son, you sound like a great mum in a bad situation. Don’t wait for him to turn, have you got somewhere to go? If so pack a bag with important documents in, nappy’s etc and leave with son. Yes, you made a mistake going back but you can rectify it by leaving.

Honestly. Leave this man

The 3 c’s - – I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it

Why are you doing this to your son and yourself? It won't get any better, it will only get worse as his alcoholism progresses and his behaviour and health gets worse. Do you really want to traumatise your son with years of awfulness? Just end it

I speak from experience

Speaking from childhood experience please don’t choose to raise your child in a household with arguments and alcoholism. I’m 46 and can still remember it.

You’re not a bad mum and you clearly love your child but the best will in the world and excellent care won’t stop him from being negatively impacted by being around an alcoholic and a domestically abusive father. Children are incredibly sensitive to whatever is happening in their environments and what they see informs how they view relationships and the coping mechanisms they develop as adults. It’s therefore so so positive you see through him now and will get away. What he did last time you left
was typical of domestic abuse. If you google the cycle of abuse you’ll see there’s a period often referred to as the honeymoon period, where abusers make lots of promises, be on their best behaviour etc to manipulate a partner in to staying. You therefore need to be emotionally strong when you leave in case he tries that again. Have you done the freedom programme before? If not I’d highly recommend you complete it. You can also get support from a local domestic abuse charity to help you leave safely.

THIS IS AN ABSOLUTELY SPOT ON DESCRIPTION OF MY LIFE WITH MY ALCOHOLIC MOTHER!

THIS POSTER NAILED IT !

SO SPOT IN IVE WRITTEN IN CAPS

@P0p - you definitely need to get out for your son’s sake and yours. Agree totally with the “living on tenterhooks”, it will change you and not in a good way - imagine the effect it has on a young mind. Thing is… if he wants to give up drinking he can do so, and you can start to recreate a relationship in time. But for the moment it is time for you to leave with your child and begin a life which doesn’t include walking on eggshells and wondering when the next round will begin.

His dad has emotionally and mentally abused me

You really think he won't do the same to your son eventually (probably already is)? You really think your love and some nappies for your son will erase any toxicity in your household and provide some weird forcefield shield around him? Wake up and stop deluding yourself because until you leave YOU are actively putting your son in harms way by not doing anything.

Protect your child, then learn to love yourself more than you love a shitty abusive man.

leave . You’ll always be the OW, his principle relationship is with alcohol and he will always prioritise that over you and your DC.

voiceofbitterexperience

I get it hard to leave. No one wants to be a single parent and you prob love your dp and think how will you cope on your own

you will. Same as I did /do

and the love def fades away