To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

[Maezzle]

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

Your ds are pre school. You don't leave them unattended end of. Yabu.

Genuinely one of the most mental things I have read on Mumsnet from someone who clearly has not watched Catastrophe. My immediate thought was, “what if you both drown?”

Highly unlikely but the fact you’re not thinking these neurotic thoughts does tbh make me question your fitness as a mother. Also two preschoolers who haven’t woken up since they were 1? Did you just leave them to cry until they stopped expecting you to come?

Honestly so much of this screams bad parenting but because it’s behind a middle class guise you are acting as though it doesn’t.

This is maddening. Obviously YABVVVVVU

How many of you spend your summers evenings sat at in your garden getting pissed while your little cherubs sleep? I would argue that drinking alcohol when you have care of your children is worse than what the OP is suggesting. Being physically near them does not help in an emergency when you're 3 sheets to the wind. Whereas being out of sight-range / earshot for 15 mins but otherwise capable and alert is less risky.

So basically you’re saying ‘There’s more than one way to be a shit parent’?

For what it’s worth, DH and I always made sure one of us was sober and safe to drive when DS was little.

I'm just saying we all risk assess our choices as parents and people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

What about all the other non "shit" choices we make every day - driving in cars when kids die in car accidents, leaving them at nurseries or child minders when there have been rare but significant harm caused to children in these settings.

I think if the OP is risk assessing her situation and feels it's safe then good for her, enjoy the swim.

Your pre-schoolers "never wake"? Not even when they're ill, or they have a bad dream? Your very young children should never be in a position where they could potentially wake up in an empty house and not be able to find you. I don't know how anyone could think that was ok.

Yes, all parents risk assess. But some risk assessments are more stupid than others.

I need to see this listing - can you give a link?!

I live on the east coast - much higher up than Skegness but I'm very familiar with the latter as we went every year when I was a child.

There are no "think lagoons" there - "think surfing", more like!

I'm very relaxed about things but I wouldn't do this. Your gut is telling you it's not OK. Take turns.

Yes! And you have to walk seemingly miles across the beach to get to the sea.

Yes, sorry, I was joking 😃

I wouldn’t panic about house fires or drowning. It’s not that swimming is unacceptably dangerous, it’s the fact that a very young child could wake with no adult there.

Presumably your lagoon doesn't have tides, if it's consistently 15m from your door?

It's 15m to get to ankle deep water at high tide, then

Or do you actually live by a river and you're just protecting its privacy?

I don’t believe this either. What happens when the tide comes in?

It's a "think lagoon", it has no tide.

I don’t believe you either - no one would live in a house that close to the sea and the flood risk during storms would be catastrophic.

ITIR, YABU. What if they come to find you and get stuck in the water?

Sounds like it is built into the side of a cliff.

I’ve concluded that the OP lives in Malory Towers. It’s the only logical explanation.

Nailed it.

I think YABU TBH .If one wakes up and you arent there what if they come looking for you? Also if one wakes up coughing and needs a drink? Dont risk it OP .Why cant you go swimming with your friend ? or take it in turns with hubby

Let's be honest op, you could easily take it in turns and this would completely eliminate the risks. But you want to pop off and have a bonk in the sea don't you? Which you will need to get a baby sitter for, or wait until they are at school /nursery or older. You can't seriously be considering taking that risk for a shag ffs. It's not about if the sea is dangerous, or whatever, it wouldn't matter if you were popping to the shop or pub for 15 mins, the fact is you cannot leave this age kids alone, for any amount of time. In a garden is totally different, I take my baby monitor out with me in the evening when I sit outside.

They couldn't even escape from this mythical house during a storm, as every window and door opens onto the shore.

Sounds incredibly dangerous.

🤣