AIBU to think my boss is unbelievably stingy and dodgy with money?

[toohotodayy]

I work in a small team and my boss is one of the tightest people I have ever met despite being on a high salary. Her husband earns a 6 figure salary. She claims back everything I mean every tiny little thing. £2 train snack? She will claim it. £1 car park fee. She will claim it.

Recently, we were all given a £30 allowance for a work lunch (rare treat). Most of us used it to get a proper meal. She bought the cheapest lunch possible basically a sandwich and water and spent the rest on chocolate bars for her kids. She actually asked the restaurant for a non itemised receipt so she could still claim the full amount.

She has also stopped providing tea and coffee in the office apparently due to budget constraints. Yet she has applied for funding to travel to the US for research despite not being a researcher Her boss approved it because he just likes an easy life and never pushes back.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous or is this just how things work in offices now?

Some people get pleasure out of being very thrifty with money.

I agree it can be perplexing / boring for those around them though.

Wow, so stingy

You have no idea what is going on in this woman’s life. She could be being financially abused by her husband. She used her lunch money to treat her kids. She sounds like a good mum to me.

Or too cheap to buy her own chocolate bars!

In my work the chocolate bar thing would be classed as misconduct as she is not actually using the funds for lunch is she? My work would query that. You are meant to spend as much of your allowance as needed to eat a meal, you’re not meant to take it to the last penny buying anything you like.

And stopping the staff tea and coffee, while spending money on her overseas junket?

I get that we never really know what someone is going through and I am not saying she is a bad mum. But this is not just about her treating her kids it is the way she went about it. She knew what she was doing by asking for a non itemised receipt so she could claim money she did not actually spend on lunch. That is not just being thrifty that is being sneaky.

If she needs help or support that is one thing but it does not sit right when the rest of us are sticking to the rules and we are the ones losing out like not even having tea or coffee in the office now It just feels unfair whatever the reason behind it.

She has also stopped providing tea and coffee in the office apparently due to budget constraints.

I mean, I've contributed to the tea fund in order for us to have tea and coffee, everywhere I've worked in the last 45 years, so I'm not seeing anything strange there, even withstanding the fact that budget cuts are in any way connected with whether an employee is tight or generous.

But, if you work somewhere that allows you to claim expenses, why wouldn't you claim your expenses ?
(Referring to the car parking and refreshments on the train, not the weird chocolate bar buying in the restaurant)

OP I hate people like your boss. Bet she's not being abused.

Totally agree that there is nothing wrong with claiming expenses when they are genuine. I am not judging her for the car park or train snacks at all. That is normal and expected if the workplace allows it.

It is more the chocolate bar thing that raised eyebrows. We were given a lunch allowance specifically for lunch. She bought the cheapest thing possible and used the rest on chocolate for her kids, then made sure she got a non itemised receipt so she could still claim the full amount.

It is the contrast that gets to me. On one hand she is claiming everything she can, including things that are arguably not within the spirit of the policy. And on the other, she has cut tea and coffee in the office saying there is no budget. It is hard to swallow when it feels like she is strict with others but flexible with herself.

😅

Unfortunately that's 2 separate budgets... expenses = 1 pot
Tea and coffee subsidy = different pot
Husbands earnings aren't relevant as just because he earns it doesn't mean she sees any of it (my ex husband earnt over £100k a year and flatly refused to even give me £10 for nappies whilst on maternity leave)
If she's claiming her expenses, then payroll need to take it up with her if she's making false claims
Not providing tea or coffee is actually a higher management issue who have cut that particular budget pot

I get that budgets are technically separate, and that tea and coffee might come from a different pot, but she was the one who told us it was being cut and told us it was her decision. So it is hard not to feel like there is a bit of a double standard going on.

I am not judging her for claiming normal expenses. If it is legit, then fair enough. But this was not that. She bought chocolate bars for her kids with money that was meant for lunch and asked for a non itemised receipt so she could still claim the full amount. That is not just using the system, that is working around it.

Payroll could pick up on it, but let’s be honest, they rarely do unless someone flags it. Most people just keep their heads down. It is more the principle that bothers me. She is cutting back on small things for everyone else while bending the rules for herself.

Maybe I'm being a bit naive but is tea and coffee budget not separate budget to expenses budget? So she may genuinely not have the funds for that. We dont at work...we have to provide our own.

Also her boss obviously sees merit and benefit from her research project or he wouldn't have signed off on it.

Finally I dont really think she's doing anything wrong in claiming expenses that she is entitled to...she shouldn't be out of pocket for work expenses

The only thing thats odd is the food/chocolate thing.

I have access to the expense accounts data where I work.

You’d be amazed at the different approaches taken by employees. Some on 500k claim literally every penny they spend during a working day whereas many others on lower salaries only claim big ticket items such as flights/hotels.

I think my approach changed as my salary rose. I used to claim most things when I was on a modest salary but now I’m in a far more senior role I don’t claim anything as the amounts aren’t significant enough for me to bother and I believe I’m adequately compensated through salary/bonus anyway.

But you are judging her as you said her husband earns a six figure salary and she claims car park expenses. By stating the salary you are implying she doesn’t need to claim the money, yet does. I think the legitimate claims eg parking are none of your business.

Ugh, my partner works with someone like this.
When people are on the way to the canteen, ‘oh could you get me a coke/coffee?’ but never returns the favour.

I’d rather be absolutely potless than behave like this. Claiming £1 back here and there- who could be arsed with that?

Really not a nice trait.

Yes she's being ridiculous and selfish.

And on the other, she has cut tea and coffee in the office saying there is no budget.

Again, her reporting to you that the employer hasn't given a budget to provide all employees with tea and coffee throughout the day, has got absolutely nothing to do with whether you can judge her to be stingy or not.

Not sure why you are finding it difficult to separate those two things.

Fair point and I take that on board. Mentioning her husband's salary probably was not helpful and I agree it is not really the issue. I do not have a problem with her claiming legitimate expenses. If they are genuine work costs like parking or travel then of course she is entitled to claim them.

What bothered me was not the normal claims. It was the way she used the lunch allowance to buy chocolate bars for her kids and deliberately got a non itemised receipt so she could still claim the full amount. That is not a straightforward expense and it felt dishonest, especially when she is also cutting back on things for the rest of us in the name of saving money.

So yes I could have left out the personal finance bit but it is more about fairness and how the rules seem to get bent in her favour.

Where I work, you can only claim what you spend and the rules about what you can claim are quite clear.

I think it's ok to claim everything you spend on work but taking away the office benefits like free tea/coffee/filtered water (our water's crap) is really mean.

I get why people assume the tea and coffee budget is separate but in our case it actually comes from the same general pot as expenses. That is what makes it frustrating. She has said there is no money for basic things like teabags and coffee, but then she is claiming everything she possibly can for herself, including stuff that is not really legit like the lunch allowance she mostly spent on chocolate for her kids.

As for the research trip, her boss signs off on anything just to keep things easy. It is not that he genuinely sees value in it. More that he does not want to deal with saying no. And to be fair she is not in a research role so it is not really clear how it benefits the team.

I agree that people should not be out of pocket for proper work expenses. That is not what I have an issue with. It is the way she is bending things in her favour while being really tight in areas that affect everyone else.

Does she drink tea and coffee???

The people that challenge those that are savvy with money are those that will stay in perpetual poverty/mediocrity.

Your boss is a genius.

Tight people really are insufferable. I had one as a boss and it was quite shocking the stuff she’d claim for and get away with all with a very moralistic and dour worldview.

I wish I understood the mentality. And how they’re not dying with embarrassment to behave like that especially given that they’re very often not short of money! I’m cringing to be around them, it all seems so grabby and animalistic.