AIBU to think my boss is unbelievably stingy and dodgy with money?

[toohotodayy]

I work in a small team and my boss is one of the tightest people I have ever met despite being on a high salary. Her husband earns a 6 figure salary. She claims back everything I mean every tiny little thing. £2 train snack? She will claim it. £1 car park fee. She will claim it.

Recently, we were all given a £30 allowance for a work lunch (rare treat). Most of us used it to get a proper meal. She bought the cheapest lunch possible basically a sandwich and water and spent the rest on chocolate bars for her kids. She actually asked the restaurant for a non itemised receipt so she could still claim the full amount.

She has also stopped providing tea and coffee in the office apparently due to budget constraints. Yet she has applied for funding to travel to the US for research despite not being a researcher Her boss approved it because he just likes an easy life and never pushes back.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous or is this just how things work in offices now?

The cutting back part is an issue with your employer, not an individual employee. The two aren't related, in fact they are very separate. My directorate manager does not get a budget for tea, coffee, sandwiches etc for the team, so we're told to 'bring our own mug'
That doesn't then mean we all get pissed off when she claims for an eye test for example.. different pots, totally different budgets, even different administration of those pots. Cutting tea and coffee is an easy department expense to cut, even if she made the decision its your employer who directed for the cuts to be made and she then 'cascaded' (hate that word) the instruction downwards until it became 'her' decision.
Yes, she appears to have misused the meal claim, is there evidence that she has misused expenses claims (not what's happened with budget cuts) before? If so payroll cam easily be notified but don't be surprised if it means the meal expenses thing is stopped (which happened to us as we used to get £30 for the Christmas meal, but it got stopped as a 'cut')

Tightness winds me up

Smart boss.

Being frugal does not mean lack of enjoyment.

Sorry but I don’t think she sounds stingy. She’s getting what she’s owed in every circumstance you’ve outlined.

Anything she spends at work she should claim back. She had a cheapo meal so she could treat her kids. No skin off the companies nose.

Yes she does drink tea. What really annoyed people is that when the department gets given some nice tea (pretty regularly) as a gift meant for everyone she keeps it for herself. So while the rest of us are told there is no budget for basics like tea and coffee she is sitting there drinking the fancy stuff that was supposed to be shared.

That's something different again, though not unusual for managers to get the pimms and the workers get the lambrusco!

I get what you are saying and I agree that in some workplaces budget decisions come from higher up. But in our case she does control the budget for our team. She makes the decisions about what gets spent where within that pot and she was the one who decided to stop buying tea and coffee. It was not something handed down from above. She made the call and framed it as a budget saving measure.

That is part of what makes it frustrating. On one hand she is cutting back on small things that affect the whole team but on the other she is pushing the limits of what she can claim for herself. It is not about being annoyed that she claimed for something like an eye test. It is about the pattern. Like using the lunch allowance to buy chocolate for her kids and asking for a non itemised receipt to cover it. That is not just a small mistake. It was done deliberately.

I agree that being frugal is not the same as lacking enjoyment. There is nothing wrong with being sensible about money. But when someone takes gifts that were meant for the whole department and keeps them for themselves, it does take the enjoyment away for everyone else.

It is not about her being smart or careful with spending. It is the way she handles things that makes it feel unfair. Small things like shared treats or tea might not seem like a big deal, but when they are taken or cut by the one person who still benefits, it does start to wear people down.

Re legitimate expenses you better believe I claim every penny I’m entitled to when I’m working.

the company I work for earns billions a years, if I’m travelling for them they can pay for the expenses I wouldn’t incur if I was at home.

No one should be out of pocket for doing their job. But this was not just about claiming what she was owed. She bought a really cheap meal, spent the rest on chocolate bars for her kids, and then deliberately asked for a non itemised receipt so she could claim the full amount. That is not just getting back what she spent. That is bending the rules to pocket extra.

It might not be a huge cost to the company, but it is still dishonest. When that is happening alongside cuts to small everyday things that affect the whole team, it starts to feel unfair. It is not about the money so much as the double standards.

Now thats a bit of a drip feed!

You definitely sounded as though you were judging her for claiming things she’s rightfully entitled to, even if they only cost £1.

I did not mean it as a drip feed. It just came up naturally as part of the wider picture people were asking about. The tea situation on its own might not be a big deal, but it adds to the feeling of unfairness when you look at everything together. It is not about nitpicking every little thing she does, it is just the overall pattern that has started to bother people.

That’s fair, and maybe it did come across that way. To be clear, I do not have an issue with people claiming back genuine expenses, no matter how small. If it is work related and within the rules, that is totally fine.

What bothered me was not the small claims like parking or train snacks. It was the way she used the lunch allowance. Spending most of it on chocolate for her kids and then making sure she could still claim the full amount by avoiding an itemised receipt. That is not on.

She doesn't sound like a very skilled manager. A stronger manager would have thought about the optics of each of those issues and possibly made a difference decision or explained it differently.

Taking away tea and coffee is quite a small saving, but will really piss people off. It's not a decision I would make lightly. And snaffling the gifted tea looks terrible.

Did she use the lunch allowance to buy chocolate for kids and ask for a non itemised receipt? I’m not really clear as you have just glossed over it and not really mentioned it? 😉😂

Sorry I didn’t post that to be cruel it was lighthearted.

I can see why you are frustrated because that is sneaky tight behaviour. It’s also quite strange because £30 would buy a fair amount of chocolate even with today’s prices.
How many kids does she actually have?
If she doesn’t have multiple kids then on earth would she want them to have all that chocolate instead of having a nice lunch?! I hope she is putting money she saves aside for a good dentist.

Was it cheaper chocolate like supermarket own brand or Cadbury? or the more expensive brands like Hotel Chocolat or Lily O’Brians?
I’m becoming as invested as the OP about this chocolate now!

It is not about nitpicking every little thing she does

It really sounds like you are doing that, however much you have had to back pedal over this thread.

Even though now you are saying you don't mind some of the tings you previously told us about, because everyone has told you YABU, and this is about the lunch, I still think YABU.

I've never worked anywhere where I can claim lunch expenses. We have always taken a packed lunch / made own arrangement since lunches on training courses etc stopped around 2011, but, in my mind, if you are allowed a lunch for up to £30 then I genuinely can't see why it is so terrible to spend a smaller amount on the actual lunch and have something sweet (whether that is for later or she decides to give it to her dc), than it is for you or any of your colleagues to buy yourself a more expensive lunch. It seems such an odd thing for anyone to worry about unless they just don't like the person so are looking for issues.

Haha no worries I didn’t take it badly at all and yes she absolutely did. She used the lunch allowance to buy a tiny lunch for herself and then spent the rest on luxury chocolate they sell at the tills in a really lovely cafe. She has three kids and said it was a treat for them. Then she asked for a non itemised receipt so she could still claim the full £30.

It was definitely the posher end of the chocolate spectrum. Think along the lines of Hotel Chocolat or similar, not supermarket own brand. I agree it is odd. Most people would just enjoy the lunch or at least stick to what the allowance was actually for. It just came across as sneaky and unnecessarily stingy, especially with everything else going on.

I am weirdly glad someone else is now as invested in the chocolate situation as I am 😂

No, not everyone
55% have voted NBU.

Ah, well, I can't see the vote, I was going by the comments.

I have not backpedaled. I have just tried to respond to what people have asked or pointed out. I still think what she did with the lunch allowance was sneaky. Buying a cheap meal and using most of the allowance on expensive chocolate for her kids, then asking for a non itemised receipt so she could still claim the full thirty pounds, was clearly bending the rules. That has been my main issue from the start.

I never said claiming proper expenses was wrong. I have always said the small genuine claims are fine. What bothers me is the pattern of cutting back on small things for the team while quietly helping herself in ways that feel a bit dishonest.

It might seem petty from the outside, especially if you have not worked somewhere with lunch allowances or team budgets like this. But when you see the same behaviour over and over and it affects the rest of the team, it does start to grate whether you like the person or not.

You’ve been pretty outing here imo.

Lets see if my boss brings it up!

I think finding a way to get tea and coffee reinstated would improve morale. I don't know how you go about that in your workplace. Trade union? Going to her boss? HR? Raising it in meetings?

At this time of year / in this weather you might get more mileage campaigning for chilled water and ice and maybe squash to flavour the water to be supplied. Then swerve to tea and coffee in the autumn.

The chocolates at lunch thing won't go anywhere - she can claim she ate them herself; looks a bit weird but nobody could prove otherwise (with a side of: nobody's going to want to dismiss her for dodgy expenses of less than £30).

If you class 'savvy' as making false claims/ being dishonest .. sure