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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to buy my daughter expensive new uniform instead of second hand

76 replies

Amandella · 26/05/2008 14:33

Ok, I don't know how to write this without sounding like a wealthy stupid desperate housewife but my youngest dd is starting in a new private school in September and yesterday we got a uniform list and instructions on where to go for fittings at John Lewis. Looking at the list which is frankly miles long and ludicrously overpriced, my dh commented that there was sure to be a second hand shop at the school and I should check it out. Being dutiful desperate housewife, but hoping that there wasn't, I rang school and friendly lady advises that there is indeed a second hand shop and i'm welcome to come in to see if I can get anything. OK, so the total list of items she needs comes to about £350 and no, we are not loaded, but t.b.h I can afford this so I would prefer my dd to go to her first school in her own new clothes... it's just me - I am not a snob and I don't have an issue in buying stuff second hand as time goes on but I just have a vision of her starting school in new stuff just like her sister did and just like I remember doing when I went to school. This sounds trite I know but is it unreasonable?? Dh is not bothered either way!
Thanks

OP posts:
TheHedgeWitch · 26/05/2008 14:37

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AbbeyA · 26/05/2008 14:38

I think that any school, state or private,should have an easily managed, washable uniform where most of it could come from any High Street store.
I would go for second hand, she will most likely grow quickly.

potoftea · 26/05/2008 14:38

It's your money, you are entitled to spend it as you wish. Obviously don't make a big deal of it to your dd so that she thinks there is something wrong with second-hand stuff.

I'd advise a trip to see the second hand shop first, maybe you could buy a few things there, stuff she won't use as often (sports gear etc.).

Rachmumoftwo · 26/05/2008 14:39

If you can afford it and want it new that is what you should do. I think that is a ridiculous amount of money, but then I don't have any money, so am biased. Why not get the stuff she will wear on her first day new, and some of the less important extras second hand?

nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 26/05/2008 14:39

if you can afford it i can see your point, my opinion is that kids are picked on for so much today its nice just to give them one less thing to worry about, however if you couldnt afford it, i would say making yourself out of pocket too would be a bit unreasonable, as that isnt the case i dont think you're in the wrong YANBU, iMO

DarthVader · 26/05/2008 14:41

As a kid in a private school I had second hand uniform except for my school blouses and I didn't care one jot about it. It is unlikely that this will matter at all to your dd so if you want to spend the money to indulge yourself no problem, but don't assume it will be of consequence to your dd!

mumoftwo37 · 26/05/2008 14:41

I don't think YABU although I would look in the seconhand shop for somethings. I have a similar dilemma. DS2 is starting DS1's sceondary school in Sept and needs a uniform - DS1 has grown out of his blazer and DH thinks it would be ok to give it to DS2 but I disagree. I pass a lot of DS1's clothes on to DS2 and don't want him to think that his brother had everything new and he didn't. So as I do the shopping DS2 will start in September in his brand new uniform just as his brother did.

SmugColditz · 26/05/2008 14:41

YANBU. If you can afford it, and it is important to you, why the hell not?

AbbeyA · 26/05/2008 14:41

It would make sense to get it the cheapest way and put the money saved in a savings acount for her.

Flamesparro · 26/05/2008 14:42

When I started grammar school we were skint. My grandparents funded uniform for me so that I wasn't the obviously skint one in amongst the weathly kids, and we agreed that I would have second hand from then on.

Anchovy · 26/05/2008 14:46

Isn't there a middle ground of a bit of both?

My DD is starting in uniform in September. We have already been given a few bits and pieces by friends (we have a DS already at the school) and we are passing on some of his stuff to other people).

The uniform is quite plain but eye-wateringly expensive - £35 for a jumper etc: on the flip side it is very well made and lasts extremely well. So if the children they come from are not "hard wearers" the uniform can be really still quite respectable I will probably have a look at the uniform sale next term to see if there is a coat in good condition. (£100+ new!)

However I want DD to have some new stuff, probably for the resons you mention. So I will be getting her some bits and pieces brand new as well.

I bet when you get there you will find that pretty much everyone has a mix of brand spanking new; hand downs from older siblings (DD is having most of DS's PE stuff as it is unisex); hand downs from friends; stuff from 2nd hand sale.

Oh, except you won't really be able to tell because they look immaculate for about half an hour on the first morning and after that pretty much everyone looks a bit ragged round the edges!

BEAUTlFUL · 26/05/2008 14:54

I completely empathise. When my DS1 started school last Sept, I went out and bought everything new as I wanted: a) For him to have that lovely, new-uniform experience; and b) For nobody to guess he was wearing second-hand stuff & tease him for being. (I remember children used to pick on kids who wore home-knitted jumpers at my old school.)

So I bought it all new, spent £shedloads, and have already had to buy new trousers, shoes and PE stuff as he outgrew it all within 2 terms. And the lovely new jumper I bought him extra big, so it would last a few years has stretched & looks like a dress.

I don't know what to suggest, really. Bet you're so pleased I wrote!

BEAUTlFUL · 26/05/2008 14:56

"...he was wearing second-hand stuff & tease him for being poor", that should have read. I don't think there are existentialist bullies...

NotABanana · 26/05/2008 14:57

I would buy new for her first term definitely. I had everything hand me down as a child and I insist on new school uniform and shoes for mine now.

BEAUTlFUL · 26/05/2008 14:59

If you want to be a thrifty housewife, could you buy any generic things (skirts, shirts, socks) at somewhere cheaper than John Lewis? I bought all my son's trousers etc at M&S, thinking I was giving him the best start in life (), then found out everyone else bought that stuff from Matalan, cos it was exactly the same but v v cheap.

But then, I do seem to have a problem with this. I often spend money to feel like I have money, if you know what I mean.

ThingOne · 26/05/2008 15:08

How old is our DC? I would buy things like a blazer second hand as they last for yonks. Also, children more likely to mind as they get older, so I would save pennies now and spend later.

mysonsmummy · 26/05/2008 15:09

i sometimes go in the school shop and buy second hand stuff - but you would never ever be able to tell at all. dont think it matters if it looks like brand new.

Heifer · 26/05/2008 15:25

I thought that I would buy DD her very first uniform brand new from the school shop (at vast expense)but have seen others in her class with 2nd hand stuff (their mums told me) and tbh you can't tell the difference.

When DD needs her next uniform in y1 (nursery and reception have a different uniform to the rest of the school) I will definately be going to the school uniform sale and grabbing a bargin.

At DD school a lot of the parents buy from the uniform sale - even the rich folk like a bargin!

Especially as the blazers are £75....

soopermum1 · 26/05/2008 17:51

if you can afford it then YANBU, but i would have a nose around the second hand shop to see what's there. i bet you some of the stuff will be in such good nick you won't be able to tell the difference. you could maybe just get the blazer there or something. DD or anyone else will not know the difference.

Twiglett · 26/05/2008 17:55

if you buy new will you buy to fit or to grow into? there is a certain rite of passage involved in buying clothes that they'll grow into

misdee · 26/05/2008 17:58

if you can afford it then why not.

however my dd's get a mix of second hand and new, but on the first day of school they wear the new stuff.

i always check out the school second hand uniform sale, jumpers for 10-20p are not to be sniffed at lol.

mind you dd2 is the same size as dd1 so didnt have anything to hand down to her anyway.

kama · 26/05/2008 17:58

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Oblomov · 26/05/2008 17:59

I totally understand. For a first uniform, new it must be.
After that 2 nd hand, cahepies, e bay, anything goes. But I can understand your desire for 'new at first', like making everything proper, as you START school.

Buda · 26/05/2008 18:01

Having been the child in very obv second had uniform I buy new for DS.

However I don't buy from the school uniform shop as the quality is crap and it is expensive. I buy M&S trousers, white polo shirts from anywhere and one M&S jumper and one school jumper with crest. I also buy shorts from M&S.

Habbibu · 26/05/2008 18:08

I'm sorry. I have nothing to add, but have just cried laughing at Beautiful's post about existentialist bullies...

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